tillGodbringsthemhome!

January at the Sisemore's.

2012-01-30T12:51:00.000-06:00

Thought I would share a bit of what we have been up to in January :)

This past Saturday we attended the birthday party of Jeremiah's Nurse's son Cristian! It was at a local party place here called Jumpin Jupiter. They boys have been here before for just fun on half price day but never for a party. I am glad we went, they had fun but to me it was not run well at all and nowhere near worth what was charged and for a supposed stress free party it was not that at all. My nurse is calling in to complain today. I felt so bad when the teen running the party cut and passed out cake without letting them light the candle or sing to Cristian :( just one of the many things not done the way they advertised. Anyway if you are local and would like more details please email me and I will share.

Jeremiah had fun too with all the laughter and joy of the other children and we did hold him up and let him jump in his way and also laid him down and bounced him a few times on the outer part of one of the jumpies. We worked on sitting and rolling on the paadded floor :) He just seems to love to moved in ways that he could if he was able to take off like a typical baby.

Noah will be having 2 surgeries this coming friday morning (Feb 3) for his ears and tongue. Once all that is healed up he will have some more testing done and be fitted for his hearing aids.

He had is CT scan done this past week and I was sooo proud of my sweet Panda Boy! He was scared but did not throw a fit, he was still when we told him too and did an amazing job!!! I can see so many ways he is growing up! In other ways he seems to be more babyish than he was even when I brought him home and want more comfort and rocking and loving in ways he never wanted them before. I am trying to follow his lead and meet his needs in anyway I can and not think so much about his age.

This past Sunday at Church during Children's worship they all prayed over Noah for his hearing and upcoming surgeries! A friend took that picture for me and it so blessed my heart! She also took the one on the bottom right of Noah praying over my friend Ronie during worship! He has such a caring heart and he loves Ronie soooo much! They have the sweetest relationship :) She is a mamma of 4 boys so it is great having her in our life. The top right is Noah at a birthday party this month for my friend Summer's little girl Ava. Noah was so sweet and was stroking her hair as we sang Happy Birthday! I just love his little heart for people!

Speaking of Noah's little heart! He is such an amazing big brother! Got these cute pics one day while waiting for the doctor to come in when both boys were needing to see her! :)

Sometimes Noah is so cooperative with saying cheese and giving me a good smile! Other days he will almost cry to avoid giving me a sweet picture!

Here are some shots this past Sunday Morning of Noah :) He was in such a good mood and was dancing away to the Donut Man DVD that we had on at one point! :) He has a very favorite epidode that he asks to watch over and over and over and over and over and I could go on again! lol If you kids do Donut Man the episode he likes is Paul in a Basket which is like a special. He loves them all but that one is his all time favorite! He loves the song Faith , Hope, Love the best :)

Here are a few good shots of my sweet frogie boy! :) He is doing miraculously well as of late! It is funny to me but about the time some folks seem to give up on him, he seems to have a spurt of doing amazing and showing us a thing or two! LOL He is standing in his stander every day and doing really well with that. Sometimes for over an hour at a time. He is responding soo well to therapy and has so blessed my heart! He is starting to sit up a bit more lately and he is rolling from time to time. Eating is still an issue but he is eating some by mouth so we are prayerful he will resume like he was awhile back.

Here are some cute shots of the babies in the tub playing! :) Jeremiah is getting harder and harder to get in and out of the tub between his high tone and being so slippery and not able to help me at all! LOL

Jeremiah had a swallow study done at the hospital the same morning that Noah had his CT scan. It did not go as well as we hoped party because the test had to be delayed because someone dropped the ball and forgot to schedule one of the people that had to be there for this to be done. By the time they finally did the test he was asleep and we kept having to wake him up so he was drowsy and so was not as interested in eating or swallowing.

Another big thing this month was a visit from my friend Charlotte! She has lost over 230 using weight watchers and working out and has been cheering me on and encouraging me. It was so sweet of her to come down here just to meet me and encourage me and bless our family with a meal out and swimming and hanging out at her hotel! As you can see from the collage a fun time was had by all! :) If you are interested in following my journey to a better me please check out my blog and see how things are going and hear about my amazing fitness center and just be a cheerleader for me! I NEED all the friends and support I can get!!! :)

Here is the link to the other blog! :) Join in and if you know anyone else who might like to follow along please share with them as well :) TamiJoy's Journey to a better me!

Noah update

2012-01-11T23:55:00.000-06:00

Today my Panda Boy Noah had some testing for his hearing. First thing she did was a test for pressure in the ear.

He has a lot of pressure in his ears, one side was completely flat, the other had slight movement. She said this is an issue that the ENT that sent us here will decide how he wants to medically deal with that. We may be looking at tubes again for this issue.

Then she took him into the booth and he was quite unsure about all this but she was so sweet and tried so hard to get him to be comfortable and play with him. Then she did a regular hearing test. With headphones on his ears.

Here she is showing him the pegboard that he will place pegs into as he hears sounds.

having to hand over hand at first. He really was not impressed. He kept looking at me with that help me look but she was not hurting him at all. At one point I had to hold his hand while he worked with the other one!

She was soo good with Noah especially since he really did not want to cooperate at all at first.

After she did the regular hearing test, she did a special test that has these headphone sorta things that sit on his skull, and not his ears. This shows what how he hears with the actual auditory nerves she explained. She says that he has permanent hearing loss. He hears but there is definite loss of hearing. One side is worse than the other. She had this chart she was charting on during the test and the highlighted area was the normal hearing range and he had nothing in it and the highest one he had was still a ways from it. She said the pressure in the ear could account for not doing well on the first test, but the second test was on the skull and used the hearing nerves or something and she said that if that test had been normal she would know that it was all related to the pressure, BUT it was not normal at all, it was basically the same. She said he was very consistent during both tests and it was obvious when he heard it by body movements as well as his reaction. She said he has permanent hearing loss and she believes the entire speech issue is because of this. She said that basically speech is not going to do any real good as it is right now. She said that she is sending all this information to Noah's ENT to see what he wants to do medically about the pressure (tubes are possible again). Then he will come back to her again and she will redo both tests then to get the most up to date and accurate results with the pressure relieved and then she will send him to get hearing aids. She said for now with the hearing aids he should hear better and do better with talking and with speech therapy and his lessons. BUT :( she said she is concerned this is progressive hearing loss. There is not way for her to know for sure but she believes it is. Which is killing me. I cried all night in service at Church because I kept thinking how much he loves music and begging God to let him keep his hearing for his music. We discussed sign language and she said it would be helpful to him now for us to go ahead and do sign with him (I did it when he very first started learning to talk, the little bit of baby sign I knew and what ASL I remembered on his level and he signed first, then signed and said it and then eventually dropped the sign) but to make sure and say the word out loud with the sign. She said that it will help him with his frustration with folks who dont understand or when he cant get the words out he wants to say. She said he has already learned to compensate for this some and saw him looking at her mouth and such. Also if it is indeed progressive then he will already know sign as will we and he will be able to communicate. I am so upset. She said at this moment there is no way to know for sure what caused this. She did say that ENT will contact Pediatrician (as I will too) and that standard procedure is a CT scan and bloodwork whenever a child has a diagnosed hearing loss. I still can't believe it is a permanent loss. Please keep Noah in prayer as we go forth with what all we need to do to help him to experience his love of music and the world and to actually hear things better and clearer. She said he will probably fight the hearing aids at first but eventually if we can make him wear them all the time he will like that he can hear better and he will ask for them. I am so praying that it is NOT progressive and of course for total and complete healing but we will go forward doing all we can for him until then. I am wishing that we could get in to ENT NOW to get started with getting the pressure gone and then get to hearing aids. I hate to think that he does not hear well. So much in life we enjoy through hearing. He so loves music now and it makes since now why he loves to touch things when music plays and why he is always on top of the tv practically. I so dont want the music he does hear to fade, but to get clearer and stay that way. I know this is not just dreadful news, its not life threatening or anything but it is still saddening me so much the thought of what this could mean for his future BUT I am so trying to just be excited for at least now they think hearing aids will help. I am already worreid about how I am going to teach him to read if he can't hear the sounds and words. She did say that at this point not really any point in doing the lessons with him because he is not hearing it correctly. Anyway, just needed to come and share with yall about my Panda Boy are the results of the testing today. I cling to the fact that my God is ABLE!

Happy New Year 2012 here we go! :)

2012-01-07T17:32:00.000-06:00

Happy New year to you all ! I pray 2012 is off with a bang for your family and things are going well! :) We rang in the new year at home as a family this year. Jeremiah and Noah both rang it in asleep! Noah enjoyed watching Daddy and Celeste do the fireworks Celeste got for us! :)

Noah would cheer them on and he did sparklers too! :) He was very wary of them, but he did hold it. I think Mama was as nervous as Noah. Jeremiah loved being outside! Celeste had these poppers things that you throw on the ground and she threw some of them down close to him and he loved the noise :)

Both babies were all smiles early in the evening but as I said above they both rang in the new year asleep! I so love to watch them sleep! :) and Smile! :)

New Year's Day was fun! We had our traditional black eye peas and I cooked them with some of the Logan Farms ham that my friend Pam gave me as a Christmas Gift! We have gotten ALOT of meals off that 1 delicious spiral ham! :) What a thoughtful and yummy gift, and having looked up the nutrition information. It is not too bad in moderation :) I did a little New Year's Photo Shoot with them in the new shirts they got from our friends Dianne and Leanna gave them for Christmas! :) TOO CUTE! :)

This week we started back to therapy. We go to our private therapy on Monday Mornings and on Friday Mornings the school sends out several therapy folks to see both boys. Here are some shots from this Friday, the first ones of the new year! :) We are so blessed by these wonderful people from the school! God has really got us with awesome folks both private and school that just poor into these babies!

I was looking back at some of the pictures of 2011. I tried hard this year to get some family pictures more and more. It was hard to get us all because No one really to take the picture if Celeste is in it and even when she is not sometimes the pics are more like outakes! LOL and at times it feels like nobody wants there picture made, but we did have a few done this year so I made this collage! :)

And I made this because it kinda symbolizes me heading into 2012. I have really felt the Lord is showing me that If I do not do something about my health and weight I am going to die. Super Morbid Obesity kills people. That is where I am now. I am trying to make changes and priorities to try and do this. At times I am overwhelmed by the fact I need to loose 200 pounds! But I keep trying to cling to scripture that says that HE has made EVERYTHING beautiful in HIS time! EVEN ME! and I love the thing I found about the catterpillar becoming a butterfly! I am seeking as much support in as many ways as I can because I know it is going to take it, and its goin to take a long time and the changes need to be for life. Next year at this time, I will still be obese, but I pray I will be well on my way to loosing this 200 lbs and alot closer to not being obest anymore. and alot healthier!

To all my wonderful friends and followers, May 2012 be the best year ever for you and your family! Please keep in touch this year, comment, post on my fb (Tamijoysisemore@aol.com) email me at the same. Lets get to know each other better! :) I am so excited for 2012 for ME personally as its the year I will finally begin to live, and for our family as well as the boys grow and change, as my beautiful daughter continues on with her work, college and enjoying time with her boyfriend, and as we see what all God has in store for us this year!

I send you all kisses in the wind!

Merry Christmas 2011 and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011-12-29T16:21:00.000-06:00

We were very blessed that even as hard at things have been to have a wonderful Christmas in our home! Here are a few pictures from Christmas.

my Panda boy looking like such a big boy :)

Celeste opening a gift

can't believe I am showing this one...sigh but me and Jeremiah coming into living room with Bobby and Noah behind. Noah got nervous and kind hid behind bobby. Not sure why.

not sure what he is lookin at and I know its blurry but was too cute :)

He LOVES is Spiderman computer that a friends son gave to Santa to give to Noah :) He thinks he is so big! He doesn't really know how to do much on it but will pick it up and rush of sayin got my computer! LOL

This was too funny to me. I helped santa find this months ago at goodwill. its a musical sit and spin. kept trying to get Noah to sit on it and he would not. He stood on it and kept trying to get him to undestand and the whole time he is acting like he is at the dr. He is afraid of it. Finally yesterday I got him to sit on in but he still can't figure out how to use it.

Jeremiah with a toy he got. He was quite withdrawn most of the day which worried this mama.

Frogie boy with his mickey mouse. later in the day I got a little reaction to him

goin through Jeremiah stocking. Noah was all into everthing miah got! He kept tryin to show him what to do with everything and ringing bell of him that was in there adn showing him shiny things :)

miah with his shiny things

Noa cookin us zert (dessert) :)

Noah loves his cars boots :) Thank you to the elf that sent those :)

hand over had turning mickey mouse on

a little smile

one of his microphones. I would talk in it and eventually he did coo

my sweet mama! Our family was featured in an adoption calendar for 2012 that some friends put together :) She was quite excited when she got to Ocoboer and saw us in there :) If you need a calendar for this coming year I can't think of a better one than this one and just think you can see us :) lol Go HERE to see calendars and get you one and help bring 9 year old Eli home!

love this face :)

a little cars computer game he was given :) haven't figured it out either

My favorite picture of the day I think! Noah hand of hand helping Jeremiah open a present :)

Happy New year to all who have followed along and been a part of our lives this year!

Happy New Year!! Here’s the scoop on the Sisemore Family and what we’ve been up to 'round here.

It has been a hard year for us but many blessings along the way by so many people. I met one of my dearest friends face to face this year FINALLY! And I got to sit in a room with a BUNCH of Taiwan Treasure's playing together as we parents shared and visited and just had an amazing time!! I have to say Taiwan R.O.C.ks FIRST reunion had to be the highlight of 2011 for me!!! I am sad Bobby did not get to experience that with me and that Celeste as well had to stay home and work but it was the biggest thing to happen! I can't even express what that was like and I can't wait for Chicago this year! It was awesome to see some of the little ones that were in the same orphanage as my boys all together again! A few were not there and I hope next year they will be. And I look forward to the year we can have those little ones at a reunion at the same time and I can have my entire family there as well! :)

Here is a bit about what all has been going on with us.

Bobby has retired from a 20 year career of police dispatch and has after a 6 month wait began a new career with a call center that though the pay is low now, seems to have much opportunity for overtime and promotion and he has almost completed training! We look forward to what God will do with our family and Bobby with this job! :)

Tami is loving being home with our sweet boys and is kept quite busy with Dr. visits, therapy sessions, play dates, field trips and teaching Noah his preschool skills. .

Celeste is working at the hospital as a Phlebotomist, and enjoys time with her boyfriend, Dallas, friends, and Church family as well as being an awesome big sister to her baby brothers! She also just started college towards her Bachelor's Degree in Youth Ministry! We are so excited for her and can't wait to see what God has planned for her future :)

Noah is 4 and growing and maturing at an alarming rate! He is talking more and more and is becoming more and more clear. He is very imaginative and a joy to watch play. This fall we began preschool but it seemed to be more than he was ready for so I backed off for a bit and went back to more of a play school type learning. Come January we plan to try again 3 days a week and prayerfully he will do well. Tami is gathering things and taking a different approach to meet his specific needs. The joy and beauty of a home education! He is doing quite well in private Occupational Therapy as well as with Speech, APE and Special Instruction he receives in our home from the school district/ Noah is into ~

Cars, trucks, trains, Mr. Potato Head, his menagerie of stuffed animals, cooking for all of us with play food :) , Barney, Mickey Mouse, Wiggles, Cailou, Elmo and the Duggars on tv! He is very musical too!

Jeremiah is 3 and overall doing well. He was eating 3 meals a day and just had his tube feeding to help make sure he got enough but then he got ill and has lost his desire to eat. Please keep him in prayer for all his medical needs. He has some tests coming up after the beginning of the year and is dealing with many medical issues. On the advise of our Pediatrician Jeremiah is only going to private therapy one day a week and the school comes in one day a week. He receives Speech/feeding, Occupational and Physical therapy as well as APE and special instruction. We are very blessed with amazing therapists for both boys and Jeremih and Noah are both flourishing under the loving care they give. Jeremiah is into~ Bells,music, giggling toys, laughing people, rocking, dancing, einsy weinsy spider and other hand games we do together and snuggling!

Tami's mom, Carol, is with us and doing quite well! She along with Tami and the babies made a trip to her hometown in Mississippi to attend her 50 year high school reunion! She was quite excited and blessed by the experience! Her sister was able to come home with us to spend a week here with us all and the two sisters were like kids at times! :) Her health is doing wonderfully and you can not really even tell she had a hip replacement and was on a walker at one time! She enjoys spending time with her grandchildren and laughing at their antics.

We covet your prayers as we move forward into what God has for our family as we roll into 2012.

Happy New Year,

Bobby, Tami, Celeste, Noah and Jeremiah

life

2011-12-18T14:10:00.000-06:00

So I am not sure if I have any folks still reading the blog but thought just in case I would come to yall. I am wondering what yall think give quality to life? what does that mean? what is value in a person? what things make someone have value? what to you constitues suffering? I may be opening myself up for who knows what by asking these questions but I just want to hear what yall have to say. Please if folks do start responding dont argue with each other but just share your thougts and feelings. Also please be in prayer for our family in so many areas. and for me personally and for Jeremiah specifically as well. For those praying, Bobby did get a job and is one week into training. The pay is very very low but its a job. He does seem to like it so far and is doing his very best at it. I am blessed by him. Anyway, please share your thoughts about life.

Giving Thanks in All things...

2011-11-24T15:17:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving 2011 to all who read this!! I pray this finds you all quite well. The Lord tells us in His Word to give thanks in all things and I am learning so much this year that even when things are scary, even when you have no clue how the bills will be paid or anything else, there is always something to be thankful for! Bobby still had not secured a job and the temporary job he had after his retirement ended mid october so we are concerned but trying so hard to have faith that God has an amazing job ahead for Bobby. He is putting in applications left and right nad we are so prayerfl that not jsut a job but a 2nd career will come along for him, that will allow him to use the talents God has placed in him to bless others as well as to provide for our family. We are spending alot of time trying to be thankful for what we do have and NOT looking at what we don't have or know. We appreciate your prayers as we go forward trying to find what God has for our family and our future. Here are some pictures I have put together for you! :) I hope you enjoy them as much as I do :) And please if you are reading leave me a note! :) Its nice to hear from others :)
God's blessings to you all this Thanksgiving!

Noah was blessed to be invited to a friends birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. He loved it! :)

PLEASE PLEASE READ and spread the word, HE NEEDS YOU!

2011-11-08T11:13:00.001-06:00

UDATE! Looks like this little guy may have a family! PLEASE keep them in prayer!!!!!!

With tears in my eyes I share with you a child that has touched me to my core. This little boy has stolen my heart and if we were not unemployed we would soo want him. PLEASE PLEASE help spread the word for him to find a family. NO CHILD should stay labeled a child no one wants, NO CHILD should live in a crib with no love, stimulation, care or even time taken to sit them up. My heart breaks that my hands are tied to help him, to be his mommy, BUT I can be his voice along with so many others who are trying to help him too. See blog below PLEASE!

Because one little boys life matters

FOUR YEARS AGO! WOW!

2011-11-05T20:05:00.000-05:00

I will ALWAYS REMEMBER gazing into the eyes of my son on a computer screen for the first time!

November 5, 2007 was a day that changed my life forever! My dream of a baby for Bobby and I had a face, we had a son! That day began our lifetime with our amazing Panda Boy! NOTHING else seemed to matter but doing all we could to get to the point we could hold him in our arms and bring him home! I can't even begin to express in words the feelings that welled in my heart when I glanced at his face for the first time! My heart lept into my throat and tears into my eyes and I could barely say a word to Bobby! We had gotten an email the night before from the director of an agency in California we had never heard of stating that she had been told by a client of the agency that we were a family that felt called to adopt special needs children. She said she had a baby boy that was "hard to place" among other things. Would we consider looking at his file. I knew in my heart of hearts at that moment that we had found our son. I just KNEW. Before a file and before a picture. I just knew. I screamed for Bobby and told him what the email said and he agreed. Its our baby! I wrote her back and said we want to adopt the baby. She wrote back and said please look at this information about him before you make a decision. We downloaded the information and read it as she asked but we KNEW he was ours. We sent back word YES we want him. All of this happend and we had yet to see a picture. We just knew inside that this was our Noah WesLee! A child to go with the name God had given us for our first son! Then I spoke with the director on the phone about what all needed to happen for us to move forward and she told us! And I asked for pictures! LOL We had made this decision and not even looked at pictures. She was too funny because she did not even realize she had not sent the entire file with his pictures and all. Amazing enough to us his file and been turned down so many times that she really was kinda doubtful we would truly say yes! I wonder so much now how and why he was not adopted sooner but I believe with all my heart God choose him to be our son and to bless us with him specifically! Anyway so early am on November 5 sitting at our old computer that took FOREVER to open the picture we FINALLY gazed into his sweet face! I cry thinking about that time! Happy tears now as then for the gift of life God trusted me with! That sweet amazing baby boy is now a sweet amazing active loving, funny, snuggly, compassionate 4 year old boy! Noah blesses my heart each and every day! After seeing his picture November 5, 2007; we were able to travel to pick him up September 8, 2008. At the age of 16 and half months. Noah did not talk at all and now my sweet guy though still delayed in speech talks up a storm! Some is still Noahese but most we are begining to understand! I still cry when I think how long I waited to hear Mama for the first time! How I use to cry becase Noah could not tell me what he wanted or needed, what hurt etc. Now he can chat with me and share his funny personality and things he thinks are so silly as he covers his mouth and giggles! :) He is constantly telling us he is hungry! Folks that dont know us must think we NEVER feed him. But he is a robust 40 lbs now and wears a 4T (with some 3T stuff still). He was globally delayed when we brought him home and he still is but not near as far. He attends Physical therapy once a week, Occupational therapy twice a week, and one day a week an iterneret teacher, and an adaptive PE coach from the school comes to the house and twice a week a Speech Therapist comes to the house and once every 3 weeks a school OT comes. He has come soo far and is such a loving and fun little guy! So many people in our life talk about how much joy they get from being around Noah. He does still have alot of sensory needs we battle and stil at times has some major temper issues but boy has he come so far across the board. I am so honored that God chose me to be Noah's mommy and to be blessed to watch him blossom into the amazing kid he is! :) He loves anything with wheels! Trains, cars, tractors, fire trucks, ambulances, you name it. He love Mr. Potatoe head and will play and play with him. He has a menagerie of stuffed animals that he totes back and forth from bed to the living room each day :) They are his friends and loves and cares for them amazingliy! They include but are not limited too, Buddy (his panda from build a bear right before we went to get Jeremiah), Elmo, George ( a stuffed gorilla that was Celeste's ), Raffi ( a stuffed Giraffe givin to him when Jeremiah was in PICU), and barney! I need to try and get a really good picture of him with all of them lined up! heehee Those who remember the "table boy" pictures from when he first came home will enjoy that he still loves to climb under neath tables and things. At Taiwan rocks he started a game of climbing under the table and tablecloth and eventually a bunch of the kids were doing it :) In the store the other day a shelf in the shoe dept was empty, at least until we showed up , and he is up in the shelf! I have to be so careful with him! LOL He will hide under blankets now too! I have almost hurt the two us of twice recently. Once I walked into the bedroom and a big comforter in on the floor and I am thinking WHAT is that doing here! I almost stepped on it to rush and get what I needed and deal with picking it up later and my foot hits something hard! YOU GUESSED IT, NOAH! UNDER IT in the middle of the floor! I freaked and explained how dangerous that was for someone not to know he is in there. He just giggles. sigh! So the next day I come through the living room and his little fold out couch is upside down on the floor and I am thinking what is up with that. All of a sudden it flies through the air and bops me and out pops Noah screaming PRIZE!!!! LOL (surprise was his meaning! ) He is also the most helpful child! He will BEG to help me! I love it :) Some things he is ust not quite big enough to do and I have to get inventive so as not to hurt him by telling him he can/t. Tonight he wanted to help with our supper. We had a really junky meal but my mother was realy wanting me to make hot cheese dip so we got some taquitos to bake in the oven to eat with the cheese dip and chips. Noah so wanted to help so we put the baking sheet on the island and set him up laying the taquitoes out on the baking pan to be ready to go in oven! He was soo proud of himself! :) He will bring me diapers and things when I am taking care of Jeremiah and is an amazing big brother! I loves Jeremiah so and he cheers him on like you wouldnt believe! He tries to help the therepist with him! Its too cute! :) He has gotten rather bossy at times and we are working on that. He will fuss across a restraunt at someone tell them they forgot to pray before the meal! sigh! We are like SHHHH! You are not the blessing police Noah! We keep trying to explain that not everyoone does things the way we do, but he so thinks he has to tell them anyway. sigh. The nurse will get in my van and if she does not buckle immediately or forgets to and I put the van in gear he starts screaming WAIT ... BUCKLE BUCKLE BUCKLE! When he first started doing it was the first day she rode with us and I did not realize she was not buckled and he kept saying dora (dont ask me why he called her dora cuz its not her name , LOL) anyway he kept saying dora buckle over and over and we were not understanding what he was saying and he was crying his eyes out before I finally figured it out. He does at times try to yell at us with his little anger he gets going and we have to deal with that. But that is so much better than it use to be and now I can usually get him to calm down and talk to me. He is a very compassionate boy and when he has had a big fit or gotten in trouble after the fact he will come and hug you and say sorry all on his own. It feels like way more than 4 years since that first glimpse of him , seems like he has always been a part of me. I cannot imagine my life wihtout him! It is so hard to explain to people how I could fall in love with hi from the second I laid eyes on his picture but I so did! I dont' think it is something that people can understand if they have not lived it. That bond was there immediatrly. Well, I guess I have babbled on enough about my amazing Panda boy! He is so cute, he will say Jeremiah frogie, me Panda! LOL He KNOWS that he is my panda boy! And he picks out panda stuff on tv, in stores, in toys r us catalog, on clothes, etc. He loves them! :) His little collection is growing! Thanks for reading this far if you did and now I leave you with some pictures :)

I know its not even his entire face but he is just so beautiful :)

Noah holding a friends baby! He is so loving and gentle and caring!

my sweet playful boy!

lol, I looked up and there he was! LOL

This was taken during Jeremiah's last PICU stay! Aint he handsome! :)

Noah and Nanny (my mama)

hangin with the big boys in Mississippi!

Noah and his Aunt Liz! She has won his heart!

Singing and playing with Aunt Liz!

So excited to be going on an outing!

our family together at Kari Jobe Night of Worship waiting on it to start! I ADORE his sweet smile in the picture! :)

Ready for Church last Sunday! Jeremiah was smiling and Noah smiling and talking to him!

This is what I got when I asked him to PLEASE look at the camera and smile, since Jeremiah was actually smiling! I so wanted one of both of them looking and smiling. He was determined NOT to smile! sigh Me and my big mouth!

Hallelujah Night! My sweet frogie and Panda being Elmo and Cookie Monster for an evening :)

LOVE the smile :)

love this shot

Thanks to all our friends who have followed since we began our journey to Noah and to all those who have joined in along the journey of life with Noah! :) Thanks for caring about our family! We send you kisses in the wind!

Sharing....understanding??? and pictures

2011-10-28T13:34:00.000-05:00

Understanding... I have come to realize that understanding is based on our own experience of things. I have been questioned and critiqued quite a bit as of late by quite a few people on decisions I have made for my children, especially Jeremiah. It has been said , "I DONT UNDERSTAND, why you do this or that or the other. I feel like it is hard to explain sometimes to people and I feel I guess that they can't understand because they are not in the same place we are in. I have been asked why do you not leave Jeremiah more, why do you feel like you have to be there all the time. I have been praying about a way to express some of what it is like. I am not really sure how to share it. I guess think about how special it is when your baby laughs for the first time, or takes the first step. They joy and elation you feel that first time is beyond amazing! But then your baby gets to the point they will laugh and laugh when you tickle them, and then those first tiny wobbly steps become walking all over the house and then running. You just dont have that same joy when you hear it or see it because it is now just something they do all the time. So imagine that your child did not laugh for an entire day, no matter how much you played with them, tickeled them, interacted with them, no matter if a room full of people are laughing at something funny, your child just is not going to laugh or interact at all with you that day, or imagine for a week, or sometimes longer they dont do that. Soo, then all of a sudden one day they bold face laugh at you, and interact, and make eye contact, but you were off doing something else and you missed it. That is a smal simbalance of kinda where I am. Jeremiah does not laugh every day, sometimes not even every week. He does not talk (except for a couple times when it sorta sounded like he said mama while crying), some days he does not seem to notice anyone else in the world exists. Soooo when he does laugh, smile, coo, interact at all it is all the more special and I would do anything on earth to not miss that rare special treat of connection with my son. I am sure this is not coming out correcly but I am trying to express just a bit of what I mean. So when I observe every second of my sons therapy session to learn as much as I can about him and be involved in all he is doing, or when I am not going out on a big shopping weekend trip, or joining in on the mom's gigglefest that is sans kids, please know that it is not that I am not wanting to spead that time with the sweet folks involved in those activities because I really would love to be included, but it is more about cherishing every second with my son, learning to be the BEST mom I can be for him. It is me dealing with the things the DR.s say to me in the hospital when they say they think the decline has begun, make your plans now, cherish each moment and have no regrets. As much as I want to believe they are wrong and it is not going to happen, the fleshly part of me at times feels the pain and fear, but then I pray, knock myself upside the head and determine to give him the best I can no matter if it is for a day, a month, a year, 10 years, or longer. I prayed for sooo long for both my boys, I begged God for help to bring them home, to trust me to be their mom, to allow me the one to receive the blessing and I wont to honor that trust God and the country of Taiwan had in me to give me such amazing gifts. So for those who dont understand the decisions I make I hope they will see that every decision we make is what we feel is in the best interest of our boys, that God gave to us to raise. Sometimes I am not ready to share the severity of things I am told by the doctors and it is hard to come out and ask for prayer because it hurts too much and because I dont want to speak all the negativity. I am not sure why I am writing or if this helps anyone to understand anything but there you have it. Now for a few pictures to share!! I will try to post a bit more often, I have been kinda overwhelmed with feelings and things lately.

my baby girl then!

my sweet baby girl! :) actin silly

Noah in the van on our trip to Mississippi to take Nannie to her 50 year high school reunion! ;) and to see the family.

lovin the leg crossed like a big man! :)

My aunt came home with us for a visit! Her next in back of van.

Noah after an accident in van. in his boots from his aunt liz!

tummy time

bearin weight no elbow after music time :)

noah playin while brother has his therapy turn

more playin

Noah helpin with Jeremiah's therapy

Noah and Aunt dorothy watchin movie :)

Jeremiah havin a blood draw at hospital with the BEST Phlebotomist on the planet! His big sister!

a sweet treasure! a SMILE :) and a big one!

Noah playing!

love this :)

another happy face! I sooo miss this during his times where he is not letting us in his world.

Adaptive PE teacher givin Jeremiah some weigh bearing time! Look how big he is getting!

Noah watching MVP and in love with the monkey! He watched the ENTIRE movie standing up! LOL he loved it! Monkey is getting up there with Panda's and cars and trains! LOL

saying goodbye when time to take Aunt Dorothy to her ride home

Noah realy loves his Aunt Dorothy!

I took this from the passenger front seat while on our way to meet Aunt Dorothy's ride home. I coul dnot see what was goin on back there but could hear her playing with them. Picture came out great! LOOK AT HIM, he is actually LOOKING at her! Times like this really make me wonder how blind he is, he realy looks like he is looking at her!

my sweet Panda boy :)

workin on sitting!

all by himself for about 2 minutes! :) He is getting better again!

Music time with Netta!

So thankful for our sweet Netta who helps us out now :)

Noah with his speech tearcher from school. He looks unhappy but he really loves her.

Noah found an empty shelf in shoe department at a store! He had to play with it! :)

Mamma and the Ethel High School graduating class of 1961! My mamma is the one sorta in the middle with the blue floral jacket and white hair.

Thanks for any who read all this and enjoyed the pictures! thansk for prayers, frienship and caring.

I send you kisses in the wind!

You Will Be Ok!

2011-10-05T17:31:00.000-05:00

Read this on a friend's note! It was while we were in PICU after some pretty upsetting discussion with the doctors this weekend. This doesnt exactly fit our situation but it is definitly fitting in alot of ways. If you are a mom to a special angel then you need to read this, if you are a friend to a mom of a special needs child you need to read this!

My dear friend,
I am so sorry for your pain.
Don’t worry; no one else sees it, I promise. To the rest of the world, you’re fine. But when you’ve been there, you can’t miss it.
I see it in your eyes. That awful, combustible mixture of heart-wrenching pain and abject fear. God, I remember the fear.
I see it in the weight of that invisible cloak that you wear. I remember the coarseness of its fabric on my skin. Like raw wool in the middle of the desert. You see, it was mine for a time.

I never would have wanted to pass it on to you, my love. I remember so well suffocating under the weight of it, struggling for breath, fighting to throw it off while wrapping myself in its awful warmth, clutching its worn edges for dear life.
I know that it feels like it’s permanent, fixed. But one day down the line you will wake up and find that you’ve left it next to the bed. Eventually, you’ll hang it in the closet. You’ll visit it now and then. You’ll try it on for size. You’ll run your fingers over the fabric and remember when you lived in it, when it was constant, when you couldn’t take it off and leave it behind. But soon days will go by before you wear it again, then weeks, then months.

I know you are staring down what looks to be an impossibly steep learning curve. I know it looks like an immovable mountain. It is not. I know you don’t believe me, but step by step you will climb until suddenly, without warning, you will look down. You will see how far you’ve come. You’ll breathe. I promise. You might even be able to take in the view.

You will doubt yourself. You won’t trust your instincts right away. You will be afraid that you don’t have the capacity to be what your baby will need you to be. Worse, you’ll think that you don’t even know what he needs you to be. You do. I promise. You will.

When you became a mother, you held that tiny baby in your arms and in an instant your heart filled. You were overwhelmed with love. The kind of love you never expected. The kind that knocks the wind out of you. The kind of all encompassing love that you think couldn’t possibly leave room for any other. But it did.

When your son was born, you looked into those big eyes and he crawled right into your heart. He made room for himself, didn’t he? He carved out a space all his own. Suddenly your heart was just bigger. And then again when your youngest was born. She made herself right at home there too.

That’s how it happens. When you need capacity you find it. Your heart expands. It just does. It’s elastic. I promise.

You are so much stronger than you think you are. Trust me. I know you. I am you.

You will find people in your life who get it and some that don’t. You’ll find some that want to get it and some that never will. You’ll find a closeness with people you never thought you had anything in common with. You’ll find comfort and relief with friends who speak your new language. You’ll find your village.

You’ll change. One day you’ll notice a shift. You’ll realize that certain words have dropped out of your lexicon. The ones you hadn’t ever thought could be hurtful. Dude, that’s retarded. Never again. You won’t laugh at vulnerability. You’ll see the world through a lens of sensitivity. The people around you will notice. You’ll change them too.
You will learn to ask for help. You’ll have to. It won’t be easy. You’ll forget sometimes. Life will remind you.

You will read more than you can process. You’ll buy books that you can’t handle reading. You’ll feel guilty that they’re sitting by the side of the bed unopened. Take small bites. The information isn’t going anywhere. Let your heart heal. It will. Breathe. You can.

You will blame yourself. You’ll think you missed signs you should have seen. You’ll be convinced that you should have known. That you should have somehow gotten help earlier. You couldn’t have known. Don’t let yourself live there for long.

You will dig deep and find reserves of energy you never would have believed you had. You will run on adrenaline and crash into dreamless sleep. But you will come through it. I swear, you will. You will find a rhythm.
You will neglect yourself. You will suddenly realize that you haven’t stopped moving. You’ve missed the gym. You’ve taken care of everyone but you. You will forget how important it is to take care of yourself. Listen to me. If you hear nothing else, hear this. You MUST take care of yourself. You are no use to anyone unless you are healthy. I mean that holistically, my friend. HEALTHY. Nourished, rested, soul-fed. Your children deserve that example.

A friend will force you to take a walk. You will go outside. You will look at the sky. Follow the clouds upward. Try to find where they end. You’ll need that. You’ll need the air. You’ll need to remember how small we all really are.
You will question your faith. Or find it. Maybe both.
You will never, ever take progress for granted. Every milestone met, no matter what the timing, will be cause for celebration. Every baby step will be a quantum leap. You will find the people who understand that. You will revel in their support and love and shared excitement.

You will encounter people who care for your child in ways that restore your faith in humanity. You will cherish the teachers and therapists and caregivers who see past your child’s challenges and who truly understand his strengths. They will feel like family.

You will examine and re-examine every one of your own insecurities. You will recognize some of your child’s challenges as your own. You will get to know yourself as you get to know your child. You will look to the tools you have used to mitigate your own challenges. You will share them. You will both be better for it.

You will come to understand that there are gifts in all of this. Tolerance, compassion, understanding. Precious, life altering gifts.

You will worry about your other children. You will feel like you’re not giving them enough time. You will find the time. Yes, you will. No, really. You will. You will discover that the time that means something to them is not big. It’s not a trip to the circus. It doesn’t involve planning. It’s free. You will forget the dog and pony shows. Instead, you will find fifteen minutes before bed. You will close the door. You will sit on the floor. You’ll play Barbies with your daughter or Legos with your son. You’ll talk. You’ll listen. You’ll listen some more. You’ll start to believe they’ll be OK. And they will. You will be a better parent for all of it.
You will find the tools that you need. You will take bits and pieces of different theories and practices. You’ll talk to parents and doctors and therapists. You’ll take something from each of them. You’ll even find value in those you don’t agree with at all. Sometimes the most. From the scraps that you gather, you will start to build your child’s quilt. A little of this, a little of that, a lot of love.
You will speak hesitantly at first, but you’ll find your voice. You will come to see that no one knows your child better than you do. You will respectfully listen to the experts in each field. You will value their experience and their knowledge. But you will ultimately remember that while they are the experts in science, you are the expert in your child.

You will think you can’t handle it. You will be wrong.

This is not an easy road, but its rewards are tremendous. It’s joys are the very sweetest of life’s nectar. You will drink them in and taste and smell and feel every last drop of them.

You will be OK.

You will help your sweet boy be far better than OK. You will show him boundless love. He will know that he is accepted and cherished and celebrated for every last morsel of who he is. He will know that his Mama’s there at every turn. He will believe in himself as you believe in him. He will astound you. Over and over and over again. He will teach you far more than you teach him. He will fly.

You will be OK.

And I will be here for you. Every step of the way.

Breaking the Silence

2011-09-19T18:21:00.000-05:00

Hi All,

It is time for me to break the silence. I have not been updating the blog and not too much facebook on the whole old therapy/ new therapy issue because of several things and because someone tried to say I did not have a right to say things on my own blog or my own facebook. Well, I have taken a step back, prayed alot, and thought alot and come up with some things. The Constitution gives me the freedom to speak my mind and so with that in mind I realize that I do not have to remain silent and keep those who love our family and were praying when it all started and now about things and kinda got dumped on hearing what all ended up with it. Soo, for anyone that still cares here it is. For the purpose of this blog I pray to have bound in books when I can afford I will put it here whether or not anyone still cares. But if nothing else I hope this will help others to know that NOOONE can tell you what you can and can't say on your own blog or fb. Now here we go.

Some of you may remember that Jeremiah's speech and Occupational therapist at our former therpay place had basically given up on him and decided that one they had given all they had to give to him and two the speech therapist said to me "He is not ever going to eat by mouth and you just need to accept that". Well, as a mom who loves her son I knew I couldnt just give up and not have speech and OT for him. EVEN IF he didnt eat by mouth he still needed oral care and things and I just knew from reading and the Neuro telling me the more stimulation the better. Hense the reason I began looking for another therapy place. If you will remember we despretly did NOT want to give up our PT at the fist place because Jeremiah was very attached to her and responsive to her. She agreed to still see him even though we were going somewhere else for ST and OT. But she came up with the list of goals and consequences that I had questions about and kinda felt needed some rewording. I tried to contact her about it to no avail. Well, in sharing all about our life here on the blog and fb and asking for prayer that we would NOT loose our PT that we believed (and still do for that matter) was the best PT on the planet apparently some followers of the blog took it upon themselves to take offense at what they felt was mistreatment of Jeremiah by there therapy there and begain calling this PT (who also happend to be the team leader). Now I was told it was ALOT of calls over and over again. I find that interesting that so many were concerened for my son. The problem was the PT was NOT happy about all this, felt like her reputation was being run into the ground and she claims that I was "bad mouthing her and very unhappy with her and didnt think she was a good therapist" It makes no sense to me to this day if folks called because of concern for Jeremiah why they would lie and say that I said things I didnt so I am not sure where this stuff came from but I despretly wanted to keep her because she is the best PT and he connected so well to her and I was worried about possibly loosing her. I told her why would I be fighting to KEEP YOU if I did not like you. ugggh made no since to me. There are alot more details to it all and alot of painful things and I can't tell you how many tears i have cried over this all. She did drop Jeremiah stating that if I did not like something she did with him she could not risk I would say on my blog that I disagreed with her. Well, first off if you are that unsure about if you are doing the right thing that someone disagreeing publically has a problem scares you then you have a problem. I find it hard to believe that in all the years she has been a PT that a parent has never had a problem with her. It is going ot happen. funny thing is I LOVED HER and did NOT want to loose and did NOT say she was a bad therapist and did NOT threaten her reputation. BUT even if I had by law freedom of speech says I have the right too. And she had NO LEGAL RIGHT to discharge Jeremiah even if I did do it. BUT what good does that do me? YES legally she was wrong, YES I could sue BUT would I really want her working with Jeremiah if she is angry and doesnt want to. The sad thing is that we supposedly had a very open relationship so it upsets me that she would do the things she did. And that she would discharge him illegally and for an untrue reason. She herself NEVER read my blog, never saw any fb posts , but supposedly all these people were calling her. Anyway, that is the jist of what happend with the PT. I never said her name anywhere but apprently some figured it out and apparently other therapist in town who followed my blog (??:???) were calling.

Now she tried to say I could not talk about what happend, that I had no right to blog about her, but mind you she did not mind me blogging about her when I posted pics of her working with Jeremiah previously that she knew about, she did not mind me asking for folks to donate money so she could have Jeremiah in her hippotherapy program to get publicity for it and get an extra student. To me its funny that its ok in one way and not another. BUT the fact still remains I thought adn still do think she is the BEST Physical therapist in town so my son was penalized for something that one ) was not true and two) was not legal grounds .

Anyway all of that aside. on to Jeremiah, the only imporatant thing in all of this. We are blessed enough that the place we moved for ST and OT had a PT and that God moved mountains for both boys to see her and also both boys to get OT and Jeremiah ST. Such a blessing. In the area of OT both boys have soared and thrived beyond imagination :) I did not even realize some things that Noah had need of and is already improving in. In the area of speech / feeding Jeremiah is doing AMAZING! The child who " is never going to eat by mouth again" Is umm eating by mouth. He is eating about 4 jars of baby food a day in the infant feeder now AND he is eating by spoon at least once a day sometimes more. He is receiving oral stimulation and oral care at therapy and I and our new part time therapy nurse are receiving insruction on how to do these things with him at home. He has 2 different speech therapist on 2 different days and both are very skilled and help in ways never even tried before. I can't be more pleased and amazed by his progress and the care he receives! Jeremiah's new PT is very sweet though not as experienced as his former PT but she truly cares and works so hard with him. Jeremiah has regressed and I am very concerned. I can't say for sure if the regression is because of loosing his PT he had such a connection to especailly during his surgery recoup time or if it is an emotional thing because his PT is not around anymore, or if it is because of a problem from the surgery. I can't really say why but I can just say that he has. He is not sitting at all, he will not roll at all anymore though today he did at least particiapte and we worked with him on roling. Please be in prayer that he will gain back what he has lost and progress further. Also, this therapy place does not have a gait trainer for him to use so we need prayer that one can be donated to them. Also I am praying for one at home. he was taking a few tiny steps in the gait trainer before surgery so I pray that we can get him in one again as soon as we can. He has a stander at home that was ordered by old PT but that is not workable for him and cuausing marks on him and severe pain. Please pray we can figure out how to transport it to the new PT to see if she can figure out a way to modify it to work or then if she can get the place it came from to exchange it for one that will work. Anyway overall both boys are getting way more therapy and in some areas way better therapy than they were getting before. It was a very good move for them and the place we are going has been amazing and so blesses us from the owner, to the therapist, to the receptionist, and even other parents. I know God led us here and I am very thankful. I will say it is still emotionally upsetting to me the loss of our former therapy but we must go on.

I also wanted to share that today was a HUGE step for me emotionally with Jeremiah. Some of you know about this and some of you do NOT agree with what we have done and it hurts my heart for people to think bad of me so I am trying to deal with that. But today was the first day for our part time therapy/activity nurse. She will work about 25 hours a week. She will attend one day a week at our new therapy place, one day a week when school homebound therepy comes she will be here for that, one day she will help me take the boys on outings and fun places and all, and one day a week she will help with going ot park or playing in the afternoon at home and then go with us to Church to help Jeremiah partciapte in the children's class for him. I know some of you feel like I should not have a nurse to help and I fought it myself for a long time. The main reason I agreed to it was they finally convinced me of a couple things. I can use the help lifting the wheelchair in and out at therapy and outings and such, it would be an extra person specifically trained to do Jeremiah's daily stretching ( the more often a day it is done the better for his tight tigh tight muscles and less risk of any further contracture) and to practice therapy skills, and someone to help with his laundry, and changing his bed. I had been so worried and still am a little bit that he will decide that she is mom so I am being very careful with the things I alow her to do. She can help with feeding with a spoon for instance but not with infant feeder as that is more bonding. And all there time is spent with us all in the family area. My prayer is this will allow more fun for both the boys because it is kinda hard on some kinds of outings with Jeremiah in the wheel chair and Noah able to go in areas the wheel chair can not. Our nurse was here today for 7 hours and went to thereapy with us, did feeding practice with Jeremiah and was very sweet to us all. Noah has decided she is HIS new friend! LOL and she was so sweet to him about it. He woke up from his nap and she was gone and he was mad! LOL He was prefering to hold her hand all day. sigh lol so she walked and held Noah's hand and I pushed Jeremiah in his chair. Anyway, please be in prayer for us as we all get to know each other and figure out how this will all work. She is very talkative so it is interesting having another adult chatting away during the day. LOL That may put me in sensory overload! LOL It is kinda interesting because of the privacy feeling kinda invaded but so far it was good. The fact that most days we will be gone from the house some of the day or have therapy in the house part of the day it wont feel so long her here. Anyway whether you agree with our decision or not I do ask you pray for us as we go about this. It is so funny how many opionions I get. As soon as I mentioned awhile back that between our two insurances we could get nursing with no out of pocket I have have 2 extremes of opinions! Either people think I am awful to consider it (most vocal) or they think I should take all 56 hours we are approved for and am silly for not wanting help. The nurse told me that I am strange and most families want the nurse to do total care and have them in the child's room all the time. She has NEVER worked with a family where she and the child are in the family area which is how it is here. I found that quite strange.

I have been working on some collages of pictures and not gotten them done so I will just go ahead and put some of what I have up. I hope this post made sense. I did not get much sleep last night so I am not thinking to clearly but I just felt it was time to break the silence and answer those who have been asking.

Waiting room at therapy!

Jeremiah riding Rody with school therapist. He loved this toy they brought!

Noah and one of his therapist

Noah workin hard

Jeremiah workin with OT

Noah workin with his OT's student

Swing time! SOO need a swing at home!

love this one :) He was not happy at her stretching his hands and was talkin to her!

stimulating and waking up his face and mouth! he was no thrilled! LOL

workin a puzzle on school in home teacher ipad!

Table decoration for Noah's Gotcha Day Supper

Me and Panda Boy on his 3rd Gotcah Day. We had been playing crazy!

We send you all kisses in the wind!

Sometimes Dreams DO come True!

2011-08-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

Well Y'all Sometimes dreams DO really come true! I have lived it! Quickly, but I lived it! This past weekend The babies and I with the help of a friend traveled to texas to attend the FIRST Annual Taiwan R.O.C.ks Family Reunion! It has been a dream for so long of mine to meet a few very close friends in our Taiwan Adoption world and as that dream grew more and more adoption friends were added to the list. It has also been a dream to reunite my babies with there former roomies from St. Lucy Center! Well, dream upon dream came true this past weekend! I will say it was VERY short and it ALMOST feels like I dreamed it! Good thing I and so many others took so many pictures! I will share some here now and more waterpark pics will be coming after I get the water cameras developed.

Back together again!! These are the sweet princesses of some women very dear to my heart that kept me going through the journey to Noah and then to Jeremiah too! :) True Friends are hard to come by and they are that! Jaden, Lucy, Noah and Allie were in the same room at St. Lucy's! And Miss Gracyn was picked up at St. Lucy's Center. They all acted like they had been together yesterday and not almost 3 years ago! I cry every time I see this picture! SADLY I did not have the good sense to make a picture of them with us moms all in there too! UGGGH Oh well, next year we will meet in Chicago and I will make notes so when my brain leaves for the excitement of being there with them I will still get pics :) It was so amazing to see Jackie again and to meet Ramona, Tiffanie and Lora! Kinda odd to FINALLY meet face to face some of my BEST FRIENDS!

another shot of them all TOGETHER :)

Jeremiah holding his balloon with prayers for birth family to be sent ot heaven!

hanging out in the lobby before the hardest goodbyes to come :(

Noah with his balloon of prayers

It was amazign to watch so many Taiwan Treasures together :) They played and laid on the floor and listend and were so amazingly well behaved at the banquet! 24 Families gathered! Can't wait till chicago where I pray there are even more families :)

ADORE seeing them together :)

Lucy and Noah! Both these guys had rocky adoption journeys to finally get to them but it was such an amazing pleasure to share our Gotcha day with Jackie, Jeff and Miss Lucy! I will never forget the sweet time with them in Taiwan :) It is so neat to me to see the babies together again! I hope to retake this picture at LEAST once a year! :) Jackie did amazing getting them to smile :)

PRICELESS :)

Balloons with prayers and wishes to heaven

Noah with Leanna! He just really looked up to this sweet thing! They had such a fun time together :)

Hannah Claire's mommy had the neatest buton candies and shared with Noah and Allie! Noah really loved them :) They were so cute sittin on the floor together :)

Noah hanging out with the guys! :) It was so great to meet some other Taiwan Prince's!

Everyone that was there Saturday Night!

Those who remember Table Boy! :) Noah had friends under the table on and off all weekend! :)

These 4 amazing women shared THEIR dream with all of us and allowed us to fulfill our own dreams too! :) THANK YOU Lisa R., Lisa C. Jules, and Tiff! I LOVE YOU ALL!

First hug of the weekend! Noah and gracyn! Set me to IMMEDIATE tears! :) the happy kind!

Again Table boy! :) this time on top and he got Leanna into the act! :) heehee

Was totally NOT prepared for this picture right after getting out of the water and all but it is the ONLY one of me and my dear friend Lora the entire weekend. WHAT was I thinking! I guess I was soooo excited to actually meet her face to face that I forgot to get pics!!!! :) This one needs to be redone each year but NEXT year I pray I am a bit more prepared AND ALOT skinnier! (I can dream)

another gracyn and Noah shot! These two are huggers :) I LOVE IT :)

Lora holds Jeremiah for the first time!

playing with a friend

LOVE the joy on Noah's face in this one! He soo misses his friends!

It was very eye opening for me to see him with all his friends! They are so alike in so many ways :) God totally blessed me with making my dream come true of meeting some very dear friends and making deeper friendships with some who I did not know as well. Lifelong friendships were begun and nurtured. I can't wait till Taiwan R.O.C.ks TWO in Chicago Summer 2012!!!

NEVER let anyone tell you online friends are not true friend! Truer friends there have never been! And always hold onto your dreams because SOMETIMES they DO come true!

I send you all Kisses in the wind!

Sisemore Summer

2011-07-29T19:37:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

I KNOW its been forever and some have fussed at me. Sorry. Things have been overwhleming in some ways. We have a few unspoken prayer requests so if you have a bit of extra prayer time please send some up for us. Healthwise things are remakably well :) Jeremiah did above and beyond amazing with his surgery 2 weeks ago :) orthapedic surgeon said today he is doing amazing and healing so well :) He had hip adductor release, hamstrip release and achilles release and it all began to try and stop hip from coming out of socket as it is already sublexed. While he was in surgery the pediatric general surgeon also scoped him to look at things from GI stand point and his espophogus, stomach and duodenum are severely irritated. Nissan is intact so no clue why all the issues but know its not from fundo nissan. Our GI has prescribed some new meds and we have changed formula and things are a bit better on that front too. Noah is tryin to potty train, or should I say MOMMY is trying AGAIN to potty train Noah! We have actualy had at least SOME progress this time. MOST of the time now he can pee in potty when I take him, and will even ask some, but he still does not stay dry and we go trhough MANY pair of pants a day. Also he will NOT sit on potty much less poop on it. THAT is how we finally got him to go pee was to let him stand no matter what the books say about confusing them for having to turn around for poop. ANY training is better than none! LOL Anyway it feels like he will never train but MAYBE we are at least headed in that direction. It really seems like he just doesnt know when he is gonna go and is shocked, but he can also make himself go when we take him so confuses me. Not sure what we will do about the poop issue but he really does not like to poop at all, even in diaper or now his pants. Celeste is doing amazing. She got a great new job :) and she has a sweet boyfriend who just so happens to be a very wonderful young man of God. We enjoy having him as part of our life. He is the children's pastor at our church :) We are hopeful to be able to spend more and more fun relaxing time with him soon. I had hoped for some bowling and other fun activites this summer with the two of them but so far it has not worked out. God moved some HUGE mountains for the boys to be able to go to Occupational therapy and speech for Jeremiah at Little Works in Progress. It is a Christian place and we have already been blessed :) Evals are this week and I will know more about how sessions will work. For the moment we remain in PT at the hospital though I am begining to worry because the PT has not been answering textx or email. I will see her Monday and prayerfully all is well. We had some issues with the OT and ST at the hospital and she is over them and I think is upset that we complained. sigh Anway tryin to remind myself tha twhat is best for my kids is most important. To the therapists my kids are patiends but to me they are my babies. Anyway please pray for that situation because Jeremiah SOOO responds to this PT and I do not want to loose her :( Well, there is much more I could say about alot of things but this has already gotten long and not sure I'm ready. Below is video montage of pics from teh summer thus far :) They are not in order and gave me fits tryin to do it but it is somewhat done. lol it is a bit long but it has some good music so please enjoy and tell me what you think :) The songs are ones I like and Noah helped too. The last song is one of Noah's favs and he sings at TOP of his lungs :) LOL One song has nothing to do with summer or boys or anything but it is one I really like and might make since in a way since I am a Mississippian in my heart! LOL though not famous LOL One song is one our whole family will break out into song simutaneously when we here it lol and some will begin dancing too :) Just fun stuff. and a couple just really close to my heart :) so please share what you think :)

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The dfference a trip makes

2011-06-16T16:02:00.000-05:00

Boy, the difference a trip makes!! Bobby, the babies and I are in Baton Rouge for a few days to see a Specialist for Jeremiah and for Bobby to take care of some business and for some fun wrapped into it all. This afternoon we saw a Pediatric Neurologist at the Baton Rouge Clinic who sees ALOT of children with Spastic Quadraplegic Cerebral Palsy and other things as well. We brought our MRI disk and radiology report with us for her to see. We came for a second opinion and as we chatted with her (the Doctor) at length about all Jeremiah has been through in his short little life and all that has traspired since home, and things the first doctor has said and all it came to a point that she basically said "You NEED us!" She explained some things way better than had been explained previously to us and she also flat out said that NOTHING she can see on the MRI disk or report supports the other doctors theory that Jeremiah is dying soon, that his brain stem will be shutting down and not keep him alive. She DOES NOT agree at all with that. Now, she did say Jeremiah is and always will be very fragile, we need to be careful with him and avoid infection at al costs and move quicky when infection happens, he may need to be admitted when other children wouldnt. He is probably going to have repeated hospitalizations over the course of his life. She said his risk is getting an infection that could be life threatening for him but his brain itself is not just going to shut down. She can't promise this but short of a pneumonia or infection of some kind that he can't battle there is nothing she can see on the mri or upon exam to make her think he would not live into his thirties or forties or even longer! The older he gets the more at risk he would be for bed sores and pneumonia. course he is already at risk for that. Anyway I feel like a smokng gun has been removed from my baby's life. Now granted she is not God and only God knows for sure how long this angel boy will live but at least we have a dr now who s listening to us, who is explaining things to us and who had a great rapport with Jeremiah and examined him completely with a Neurological exam. We were both so impresssed. So every 6 months we are gonna get to know Baton Rouge well! lol We come back December 15th! Need to start researching holiday things around that time here in Baton Rouge.

Please be in prayer for our family as the Lord has some thngs up His sleeve for our family and we are very prayerfully walking the journey to see what HE is going to do! :) There are several things going on and on the horizon and I am not at a point of being able to share them at this point but God knows and so I covet your prayers for all of them. Now for some pictures for all you faitful bloggy friends :)

Mr sweet frogie boy NOT sleeping during nap time at the hotel :) But happy :) He has been kinda withdrawn past couple of days but today at the dr he was giggly and smiley and in such an awesome mood and it is continuing a bit this afternoon too :)

Nap tme for Noah, Elmo and Buddy in the hotel bed! We have been very blessed at the Drury Inn! Never stayed in this chain before but it is a nice safe hotel, indoor/outdoor pool, indoor whirlpool (Jeremiah did aweseome with that and his muscles relaxed soo much!) and free hot breakfast and free hot supper! It is pocketbook friendly though not necessarily weight watchers friendly! lol. Worrying already about Monday's weigh in but we will see.

Noah on the Dr. Stool pretending to be a dr. He was "examining" Jeremiah's legs right before this! He was like WHAT?? with a big grin when I grabbed my phone to take a picture :)

Jeremiah snoozin in his chair BRIEFLY lol loud big brothers and naps dont go together :)

Noah eating supper last night. Hot dog cut up and a nacho bar. He was n heaven!

He was one happy boy to finally be out of the van and in the hotel! :) We were waiting on free popcorn and soda's they serve from 3 to 10 pm

Jeremiah gettin a little perkier when we got to hotel :)

Sometimes I wonder WHO he sees when he looks up! At church the other day an older man came to me literally blubbering and said during worship he looked over at Jeremiah and he was looking up like this and at one point he just smiled a HUGE grin and just stared and grinned up for a good while and then all of a sudden it was over and he put his head down and looked down. That older man was bawling as he told me and said to me that he believed Jeremiah was seeing sometihng in the spiritual realm! I have noticed when we have him prayed over at Church and Pastor or someone will say Jesus in there prayer EVERY time they say it he smiles! I really belive this little guy has a relationship with the Lord that NONE of us can even fathom or understand!

snuggling with daddy :)

My sweet Panda Boy Noah has become QUITE the helper! He will almost knock you down to try and help! :) He now (after I remove all knives and such) totally empties the silverward basket and puts them all away IN THE RIGHT COMPARTMENT! I am like wow! Some barely 4 year old huh :)

another shot of him working on unloading silverware! He also will help hand us dishes and things with persmission if we think it is a safe thing he can handle to hand us :)

And this one TOTALLY shocked me! HE PICKED UP THE BASKET of clothes fresh out of dryer and carried it ALL THE WAY to the living room for folding! WOW!

Noah at naptime in daddy's chair earlier this week :)

reading with daddy :)

Noah is soo into dancing now. We tend to watch things that have music to them (singing bee, dont forget lyrics, gaither gospel hour, etc.) and he his a boogie woogie boy now! :) lol

Noah had Jeremiah bold face laughin today :)

Thanks guys for reading and caring about us! We send you all Kisses in the wind!!!

Happy First Gotcha Day Jeremiah!

2011-06-07T23:14:00.000-05:00

Tonight was our celebration for Jeremiah's first Gotcha Day. the past 48 hours have been very rough and things going wrong left and right but it is still a celebration of Jeremiah and all GOD HAS DONE :) Pleas enjoy our video :) It was suppose to be shown tonight but do to computer being evil to me it did not happen. So I hope you will comment and share your thougts since I did not get to see anyone see it. I love sharing all the pics of my baby boy :)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Pictorial update

2011-05-11T12:50:00.000-05:00

All ready for Church. Nanny Beth and Poppy gave them belated Easter Gift, Church clothes! They look so grown up in these outfits :)

haircut silliness.

the hands on hips is a new thing :)

Durin speech. He was talkin to her (cooin)

She was workin with orange juice that was ice cold to wake his mouth up. LOL he is not impressed! He is more and more adversive and has regressed. She says that as children with cerebral palsy grow eating gets harder and that she does not think he will ever eat for nourishment :( I am havin a hard time giving that up but she says just little bites for pleasure but that wil be it.

we were shoe shoppin for sandles with a sturdy base for just play and we were gonna try on the next size up, he sat there and put the paper back in the shoes just like it was when we got them adn put them back in the box! so sweet :)

another shot

our income tax retrun came! Celebrating for us!!! We went to TExas Road house and had STEAK!! A mama fav! :) We are going to get the boys Louisiana Birth Certificates, name changes and citizenship done now! WOOHOO and a friend from Church and his father are donating the labor to build porches and ramps and so they came out yesterday to measure. The plan is an 8 x 8 foot porch in front with a ramp off the side and a 8 X 16 inch porch in the back with a ramp. Waiting on what kind of deal they can get with there supply place to see the costs and make sure we can do it and still get some other things done too! PRAYING to pull up carpet in living room and put down flooring (either wood or wood look) and a rug. I think I can keep that way cleaner and put Miah on mats and pallats which I do on top of the yuck carpet anyway! :) Praying hard if there is money left about what the next project needs to be. We are takin a trip to Baton Roughe June 15 through 17th to see a Pediatric Neurologist Specialist for a second opinion so that will be part of it. PRAYING at least for clarty and perhaps a better report but we shall see.

This PT was filing in for ours and she found a ticke spot! LOL

I LOVE HIS SMILE and giggle :)

Video at the bottom, can't get it here for some reason sigh

and then we have this face :( I took a picture because he has done this a few times now. He makes this face and it stays like that for a good while and tears will stream down his face and it is the saddest thing on the planet. I was bawing my head off thinking he felt left out or something but no matter what we did he still was sad. He has done a few other times with the silent tears and last night he was craying uncontrollably and very loudly and somewhat rhythmatically. I wonder if it is seizure activity or at least last night anyway. I plan to ask the Neuro or maybe he is jsut really sad for some reason which breaks my heart totally :(

Now that Jeremiah is 3 he has therapist from the school come out to the house. He is here gettin special instruction and the OT is here instructing teacher on things to do with him. The OT only gets to come a couple times a semester the teacher comes onse a week. He also has an adaptive PE teacher that comes and the PT came out to evaluate and I guess share waht to do with the PE teacher. and then the speech therapist comes out onse a week as well. She is workin on communication with switches. the hope is someday he can do that. Noah is assisting them above as you see :) This is his same teacher and OT consultant.

Jeremiah had a pretty severe seizure Saturday monring followed by 20 severe episodes of retching and lack of oxygen in all. We were instructed by pediatrician to go to ER. He is doing better and they think it was just a breakthrough seizure! JUST A BREAKTHROUGH! HELLO that was some breakthrough :( sigh but prayerfully wil not happen again! and the retching we hope to deal with tomorow at our Pediatric GI appt out of town.

Noah crashed durin family game night :) lol

Jeremiah on the other hand lively as ever :)

Mother's Day morning :)

my mama and me

me and all 3 kids

Noah layin his head in my lap at therapy while waiting to go back :

another shot :)

Noah helpin the wheel chair dude "grow" miah's chair! LOL

In his swim diaper/trunks! Need to get Jeremiah one now :)

ready for the pool

such cute little men

we learned that you dont go swimming right afte rthe pool fills! can yous say COLD WATER out of the hose! LOL

so cute :)

watchin water spill over! Daddy not wanting to sit in cold water :)

only picture that was made of Jeremiah and so please dont look at me. I need a waterproof camera of 50 for the summer! LOL

Noah was daddy's helper with Laundry yesterday. I have the stomach flu and feel awful. They house was already out of control but getting worse. So the men decided to help with laundry on Bobby's day off :) They got a few loads done to add to the clean laundry waitin on the couch to be folded!

such a big helper boy! :)

To make you smile :) they had him laughin so hard he is almost cryin
T

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Prognosis None :(

2011-04-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

for those who do not follow my facebook and have not heard, our Neurologist visit did NOT go well. The Neuro says that Jeremiah's prognosis has not changed and the MRI shows the same. He says my baby is going to die. He does not know when but that he is going to die. I have been bawling and am angry at myself for allowing a wordly doctor to sway me, but after the MRI and teh pediatrician being so hopeful and the radiology report showing brain where there had been no brain I just knew that Jeremiah's prognosis would not be critical anymore, well according to the Neuro the MRI did not show brain, it was fluid showing up white on the MRI and was mistaken for brain. I am CLINGING to the fact that I KNOW GOD IS ABLE. I am trying to dry the tears and TRUST and BELIEVE and also be accepting that GOD IS IN CONTROL. But at the same time I do NOT want to loose my baby. I know HIS ways are not mind and I have to trust HIM. I am asking for prayer from anyone who is willing and please spread the word to eaveryone you know to pray. I want to take 2 or more to a new worldwide level! PLEASE STORM HEAVEN for my sweet Jeremiah! Its funny after the 2 miraculous therapy improvements this week we get this news that there is no hope. I am clinging onto to God and reminding myself there is ALWAYS HOPE! PLEASE share Jeremiah's button on the sidebar on your blogs and share the blog or just share his name and the need! You can also share his picture! This was taken this morning after a rough rough night of him crying almost all night but joy sure came in the morning!

Grab This!

BIG NEWS! Grab your puffs!

2011-04-27T15:08:00.000-05:00

I cant believe I get to share this!!!! MY BABY TOOK HIS FIRST STEP! It was tiny and in the gait trainer but he took it! :) Below is a video of them working with him AFTER he took the first step which noone realized he was gonna do so the camera was not on yet! LOL he does take a few with the camera on too so look close at his feet :) I still need to get the Easter post up but I couldn't wait to put this one up and I guess they will be out of line now :( OH WELL, this is big news!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

6 years and counting!

2011-04-23T18:38:00.000-05:00

6 years ago today my amazing hubby Bobby danced me into an amazing adventure of our life together. Little did I know then all that would happen and how amazing the dance of life was going to be. I am blessed to share my life with a true man of God who somehow found a way to love even me! I NEVER thought there was a man for me, a man I could trust even a little, and a man that could love me with all my scars, weight, weakness, etc. But somehow I lucked out and God sent me Bobby!

I dont have a scanner so this was a photo on my phone of the pictures we had made in the photo booth outside theatre on the boardwalk! :) For the first time since the night before we picked up Noah Bobby and I were alone togther today for a couple hours. It was a HUGE thing for me to leave my babies but Bobby really wanted us to go to the movie on our anniversary even though the entire celebration could not happen until May. Celeste and my mom sat with Noah and Jeremiah. Noah flipped out when we left and I felt awful but I had a blast while we went to the movie and were able to hold hands without a little boy pulling our hands apart wanting to get between us! I feel guilty that I had a good time and left my babies and made Noah so upset and it wasnt even something for his benefit. It was a slight test because the PLAN is for a church friend to help Celeste keep both babies overnight on May 20th at the friends house while Bobby and I have a night away. We will stay in a hotel and do dinner and a movie and SLEEP IN. LOL I have joked if I dont chicken out and take Jeremiah with us that I will probably still wake up even so. LOL Pray for that time and that I can actually let them keep him. I am so torn because the idea of the plans Bobby has sound awesome but its just so hard to leave my babies and worry they are having there needs met and are safe. And Jeremiah has above and beyond needs but my friend went to therapy with us to learn more about how to help take care of him for the night, that is above and beyond. She wants so much to help!

Mr. and Mrs. Bobby Sisemore

April 23, 2011

6th Wedding Anniversary Movie Date

The Louisiana Boardwalk

Panda Boy is FOUR!

2011-04-20T21:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I sit here now the mama of a FOUR YEAR OLD BOY! WOW! Where does the time go. It seems ions since the day I first laid eyes on that amazing baby boy waiting in Taiwan for me! Little did I know then just how that sweet one would wrap himself around, inside, on top off, on bottom off and clean out through my heart! Little did I know then it would take 10 and half months and I would watch some come after us for referral and come HOME while we waited. Little did I know what life being a mama to a boy was gonna be like! But oh how I love that boy! I feel like a complete and utter failure at being his mom, the one he deserves, but I am doing all I can to be better and better! It is funny because I worried before we even found Noah, back when we were still talkin about adoption and even when we thought we would have a birth baby before adopting, I worried HOW will I ever love another child as much as I love my baby girl Celeste! I worried so hard. And then I fell in love with a sweet Panda Boy waiting a world away for me in Taiwan. How you may ask do you fall in love with a baby you have never touched, met, held, smelled, carried, rocked, bathed, etc. Well, all I can tell you is YOU DO! I will NEVER forget the day that I sat on the green couch and watched the screen door open and THERE HE WAS! LIVE and in person! I started beating on Bobby...THERE HE IS, ITS HIM BOBBBY! and balling all the while! I can't express the feelings that came over me in that moment and when he was placed in my arms the relief and the utter JOY of finally my SON is home in my arms where he belongs! He was my sweet baby boy who so needed me and clung to me. Fast forward over 2 and half years later and we have a 4 year old boy! Stil my baby boy, but 4 now! And yes he still needs and clings to me but he is also starting to be semi ok with mama not right around. He LOVES to go and that works well when we NEED him to go away from me. For those who were around when Panda Boy came home you may remember he could not talk at all. I remember through translation one of the nannies said she so hoped he was waiting till America to talk because he only wanted to learn one language. :) Well, she was right because he did finally start talking :) I remember crying LORD please let him at least talk well enough for me to hear him say mama and then praying Lord if not then at please help me be ok with not hearing it. Well, eventually he started babbling and I almost wrecked the car when he did! LOL and now there are days I think what was I thinking! LOL not really but I have had days where I have to remind myself what a blessing it is he can talk constantly :) And that he does. He tries to say everything and at times it comes out rather funny :) Some things we call Noahese! LOL but we pretty much all know what he is talking about. Daily words are cleared than the day before. He loves books and to be read to and to look at them himself. He is like me in that he adores music and really seems to feel it like I do. He loves anything with wheels on it! He is so very boy in the things he gravitates to overall but luckily for this mama so far nothing icky! YET I fear! He is very into stuffed animals now and has a minagerie he takes with him all over the house. It started out with Buddy (his build a bear panda) and Elmo, wel then it grew to be Buddy, Elmo, George (a gorilla that was Celeste's ) and barney (the purple dinosaur that sings) and it has grown and grown. When we get ready to go to bed he wants to take them all and we are like NOPE Buddy, Elmo George,barney and thats it. He will say it al like one word when he is fussy and wants them! LOL It is so sweet. He loves Barney on TV and still an Elmo fan and Big B! lol what he calls big bird. He loves The Wiggles and Donut Man! It is my mission to get him all the Donut Man on DVD. They have a 6 dvd set on ebay I really want and that would be 12 total episodes. and then a few more in addition to that. And also want to find more wiggles too. He loves veggie talkes songs but is not too into the dvd's yet but will watch them a little. He is realy where he will WATCH some tv which is cute and worrysome. lol He loves 19 kids and counting and will ask to watch "the duggars" :) I have them on dvr and so he and I watch them alot. He also loves The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie :) all the old standbys :) and he loves make room for Charlie on Disney. we found that when living at the hospital with Jeremiah :) and funny thing he will sit and wach Paula Dean cook! :) lol He can count to 10 and sometimes to 15. He can match just about anything. LOVES to match. He lines up cars and trucks all over the house. He can match colors and shapes but not too good at naming the shapes at all and only some colors. Its funny how priorities change with your kids. With Celeste I was hyper concerned about her counting, recognizing numbers, colors, shapes, ect at 18 months! LOL With Noah we have been more worried about learning to walk, talk, eat, not choke, sensory things etc. so now I am really stepping up the focus on more preschool skills. I mean we have always done stuff with him and talked about all those things but when you are just trying to help them learn to talk well enough to get their needs met the other stuff is just not as big a worry. When he is 30 it wont matter if he knew his colors at 18 months or at 4. I have bought the first of our official curriculum for the fall and am quite excited about that. I want to be much less stressful in my schooling than I was with Celeste. I have lived and learned. Plus with Noah's personality there are some things that will just need to be done differently. That is one beauty of homeschooling. We will be able to take his interests into consideration as he grows. Noah is getting speech therapy through the schools at our home 2 days a week, he has a special instructor that comes one day a week and adaptive PE one day a week. He also has OT at the hospital one day a week and is being evaluated to possibly start speech and PT at the hospital soon. I am seeing this year, the year of being 4 , as such a vital year for Noah. He already is very curious and LOVES to learn and we want to do all we can this year to really build on that and help him overcome the hurdles he has had in his little life. Noah is now 36 lbs and 38 inches tall! I never would have thought! He came home from Taiwan and could wear 12 months clothes. Now he is moving into 3T and some 4T! When we got him a toddler size 4 was too big, now he is in a toddler 8! Noah is still my big helper boy! HE LOVES to clean and to help. He will knock himself out tryiin to get to you and help with things! Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is not. LOL but he is really getting to where he is a true big help. He can put all the silverwear in the drawer in the right slots in the tray. He can also hand me things out of the dishwasher for me to put up in the cabinet. And I can hand him clothes out of the washer and he wil put them in the dryer for me :) He is the cutest thing when he grabs the small broom and dustpan that stands and sweeps my kitchen! Can't wait for him to sweet well enough for it to totaly count! LOL He ill pick up clothes and towels and such and run them to the hamper. It is so cute and he really seems to like it. PRAYING it continues in a healthy way anyway. He remains a junk food junkie and really only wants junk so we have a huge battle there :( He does love cheese so that helps but of course with already having bowel issues its not hte best choice All the time. I look at him and I wonder where did my baby I picked up at SLC go? He is becoming more and more a little boy and I am excited to see him at this stage but I do so miss him at times, the baby him. He is an awesome big brother but he does get jealous of Jeremiah and me , for that matter he gets jealous of bobby and Me and Celeste and me. At times I feel guilty like I am not able to give him all of me he wants and I definitly feel like I fail him in so many ways. I just keep striving to do better. He is my sweet Panda boy and I look at him I am reminded of how BIG my God is! I still at times can't believe that God really blessed me with this increadible little boy! That Taiwan actually said YES YOU can have this baby! that God helped us raise all the funds, and got me there on those planes. Sometimes it seems like a dream that is too good to be true and that someone will show up and say never mind we changed our minds. We do still battle sensory and his temper issues but all are improving greatly. I look on him and I can't wait to see the man of God he is going to become! :) Wel, I have babbled on and on here and what you all probably really want is bday party pics :) So I will put some here :)

Panda Boy and Aunt Pam on the Choo Choo at his party

Everyone so loved the choo cho. NOah had a total blast! I am THRILLED I thought of this and FOUND one :) and it is a double barrel so much safer and sturdier :) LOVE IT :)

Aunt Pam's land was a perfect place for this party :)

can you see the big smile?

Jeremiah got to ride too :) With my friend Erin :)

He was so cute :) He would hollar 'All Aboard!" and then blow kisses at us! :)

The cake. this was suppose to be a non stress cake but did NOT turn out that way. Bobby wanted me to do the round cakes and not try to make cakes shaped like the engine and the individula cars and decorate with candy cuz he thought this would not be stressful. I am just that kinda person cuz I still stressed and nothing worked the way I wanted :( the track slid off the cake too LOL DERAILMENT

NOAH LOVED the Pinata :)

For all those still following along :) Panda Boy and I send you Kisses in the Wind!

WHO CAN??

2011-04-12T15:47:00.000-05:00

Who can? Who can grow brain where there was NO brain?? MY GOD CAN!!!!! We received the radiology report today while at the pediatrician. Granted it has NOT been interpretted by the Neurologist and only by our Pediatrician and myself but it still holds AMAZING NEWS of an AMAZING GOD who performs creative miracles! :) For those who may not know or remember, Jeremiah's Neurologist stated after testing in June that everything from the ears up of his brain had died and was reabsorbed by the body and was nothing in there but fluid. He had a working brain stem and a small part of the cerrebellum. Well, the MRI from Friday showed:

" There is multicystic encephalomalacia of large portions of both cerebral hemispheres with multiple cystic spaces and gliotic strands replacing large portions of the cerebral hemishpheres. (so NOW we have cerebral hemispheres!!!!!! ) The anterior and medial temporal lobes, thalami, and basal ganglia are relatively spared! ( He now has temporal lobes, thalami and basal ganglia!!! whatever those are LOL) The brainstem and the cerrebellum are grossly within NORMAL LIMITS in appearance!!!!! " I am BAWLING GUYS!!! So not only does he have a FULL cerrebellum but it is NORMAL! and he has WAY more brain than he had in June! GOD IS ABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And again I say GOD IS ABLE!!!!! I give ALL GLORY , HONOR, and PRAISE to the KING of KINGS and LORD OF LORDS for this creative MIRACLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, we have NOT talked to the Neurologist about this. We have an appointment to see him on April 28th. HE is the one that gave us the CRITICAL prognosis. NOW, I am thinking, and the pediatrician is thinking that the above just MIGHT change that prognosis! I am TRYING not to go hog wild till I hear the brain doctor say for sure what this means for Jeremiah but I am over the moon with excitement that the God of heaven and earth chose to perform a creative miracle on MY BABY :) and I got to witness it! :)

Our Pediatrican is the bomb and she was so amazingly sweet and excited about what all it showed today! :) It is so nice to know she cares :) I think that her entire outlook will be a bit different now. Granted even if no brain had ever grown and his function never improves he has value and deserves the best love and care he can get! Nothing really is changing as far as how we view him or treat him other than I can't pick him up without bawling in thankful prayer at this point! LOL I do hope that it wll set the minds of some at ease that the lethargy was the "this is it" time for him. On that note, the pediatrican last tuesday lowered his depakine seizure medicine by 12 percent and today retested the level to see how it looks today. We should know more later. I will say that he as been more alert each day and it defintily has made a difference! :) So thankful someone finally listened to my "testing" and gut feelings. Well they just called and now the level is too low. BUT since we are not seeing seizure activity and he is doing good to leave the dose as is till we see NEURO on 28th. PRAYING hard that he does well.

I LOVE that he is more alert and doing so good with that! In PT yesterday he was moving the gait trainer all by himself. The pt would move his feet forward and then he would push off and push it forward :) and when he did he would SMILE so big! I said then "I THINK THERE IS MORE GOIN ON IN HIS HEAD THAN THEY THINK! He really seems to enjoy it when we help him do stuff! Well guess the MRI shows that to be true :) I am anxious to go to our NEURO appointment now that we have this informatio to share and see what he thinks it means for Jeremiah long term :) Also the Pediatrician got ahold of a Pediatric GI in a town a few hours away that someone at therapy recommended. She spoke with them about Jeremiah and is making a referral for us to go see them. I am AFRAID to go after what happend with last GI but thanks to my dear friend Lora's hubby I am armed with a bit more knowledge of what to discuss, what needs to be happening as far as Jeremiah and his GI needs and also I will refuse any type of intrusive exam at this point. I will keep yall posted on when we are going. Please continue to keep all of us in prayer :) And pray that this MRI means that the "critical" prognosis will be changed now! :) Even if its not it is still a HUGE miracle that there is bran now where there was no brain!!!

my sweet Jeremiah today waiting for Speech/Feeding thereapy :)

My sweet panda boy in speech at the house :)

HORRIFIC EXPERIENCE AT DR.

2011-04-07T17:15:00.000-05:00

I am in tears and beyond upset. I am trying despretly to calm myself down here. Today I took my sweet baby Jeremiah to see a Pediatric GI Spectialist at a local hospital that I HATE. It was against my better judgment but being there are only 2 Pediatric GI drs in town and one is at the place and the other I have been warned against :( I was a nervous wreck going to this place but NEVER dreamed it would be like this :(
This dr was a very old man. He seemed very confused to begin with and the WORSE PART IS He hurt my baby boy :( He shoved his finger up his behind hard!!! Miah cried and turned blue and the dr. just kept talking. He shoved it in hard! :( He said he was doing a rectal exam but he did not LOOK at Miah in the face or for that matter at his but. He just shoved it in there and jerked him as he did. I was SHOCKED and HORRIFIED. I still can't believe this happened. He assaulted my baby. :( He acted like he was meat and not a baby. Kept talkin about place here called holy angels that children with disabilities use to live at and would say "the downs" and "ones like him" and such like they were things not people. I am beyond upset, mad, scared, sad, and just a wreck :( I am trying to find out HOW to report him and plan to let every person I know or ever meet here with children with special needs know he does NOT value children that are not perfect ;( I am shaking I am so upset. I am SOOO ANGRY at myself for taking my baby there and for not beating the old goat up when he hurt my baby. I have been literally physically ill thinking about this since home. Jeremiah has been VERY JUMPY every since this happened :( He was very alert and smiliy earlier today adn now he jusut seems to have shut down :( I am at a loss as to what to do about my son getting proper care :( and how to go about reporting this horrific dr. :( PLEASSE keep us all in prayer

Newsy Note and PICS about two cutue boys :)

2011-04-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

Thought I would try and get a newsy note along with pics in on the blog this afternoon :) I feel like I have not shared as much or heard from my bloggy friends as much lately and I dont like it. :( Facebook is great to get to know little snippets in everyone's life and I love it too, but I do miss the blogging and responces that use to come when I did blog more. Course main thing is my prayer is to have this blog printed to keep and I dont want to leave lapses so they wont be there. Course I need about $250 at least at this point to print what is here so far! EEEK! I so want to print it and then after that print like once a year but for now I can't swing that. The boys are doing pretty good. Noah is growing like a weed, well both of the boys are! :) Noah is growing in so many areas not just physically. Talking up a storm! You might not understand everything he says but he will TRY to say Noah version of just about anything he hears! He is definitly still very speech delayed but from MUTE to this is HUGE! I saw a tv show not long ago about this teen boy that everyone in the community was afraid of because he just kinda went around watching and looking and never talked. He was mute. As I watched that episode of the Waltons I had my Noah sleeping on me and I bawled and bawled and my tears fell onto his face as I did. I would have loved him just the same if he never spoke but OHHH how I am thrilled he did! When I am tired and weary and NEED some space and he is on and on and mama this and mama that I REMEMBER how long I waited to hear MAMA from his lips and how thankful I am here can speak! I look at my Jeremiah and I wonder if it will come with him. Some have said he is basically a "vegatable" and will never speak or know anytying, others have said the communication will come by voice, other have said maybe he will communicate by switches. I dont know but for some reason with him it is not as hard as it was with Noah. Maybe because I have been through it before or maybe because with him I am just thankful for BREATHING! His Sunday School class has a point system for particpation, bringing Bible, being on time, offering, etc. Jeremiah was out when in the hospital and someone said that he got pionts and reward anyway since he was in the hospital. I said Jeremiah gets WAAAY extra points for BREATHING! lol Noah is doing so well with his fine motor skills though gross motor are still behind. Kinda odd. Sensory issues are stil a big thing with him and so is his temper and such. He is improving across the board and maturing so much. He is kind, compassionate and caring most of the time! And he will help you with anything, even things he is really not big enough to do but boy he will sure try. He loves it. Jeremiah health wise is having ups and down. We had a few weeks of sleeping almost all the time. Its been a very scary and emotional time. We do think that it has been narrowed down now to how his body processes medicine and even though levels appear only slightly elevated he responds as if they are way elevated. He is having a MRI this coming Friday. The Pediatrician had a fit when she realized that noone has done an MRI on this child and all diagnosis, prognosis, etc had been based on an ultrasound in Taiwan and a ct scan here. So yesterday she decided an MRI is happening. It has been hard lately because therapy is concerned that he is regressing in some areas. PT he is just missed alot being ASLEEP :( which does not help, Feeding therepy he has regressed alot and we are not totally sure why. Some we knew would come with the time on the vent but it is really more than anyone expected. It is like we are starting over again tryin to give him tiny bites of ice water, crushed ice, or tiny bites of baby food. It so hard to just want to give up and not try for oral feeding because he did so enjoy it and eat as best as he could before, so now that he really doesnt want any part of it I am very emotional feeling like I have to give that back to him. I am anxious to see what the MRI shows on him and see if it all changes his critical prognosis. I often can put it in the back of my mind and not think about it but lately it has been brought up so much it is hard. I find myself saying GOD NOT YET alot! Several therapist and pediatrician were suspectiung that this is it, this is the new norm. He is getting worse and just gonna sleep all the time until he is no longer here and I am like NO IT IS NOT. SOMETHING IS WRONG. Not everything is blamed on the cp and brain damage. I did some tests on my own with his medicines. Not changing the dose but changing when he took it. Normally it was at 7 or 8 in am and 7 or 8 in pm. Well he would get meds at 7 ish and therapy at 9, 10, or 11 sleep through. On his bday he had meds at 8 am and was still asleep till 5 pm. Then he was alert and happy till bedtime meds. So I stayed up late this past friday and delayed his meds and PRAYED no problems with them being late. gave them at 1:30 am, so not due till afternoon and he was alert and awake the whole evening until 1:30 am when I gave him meds! HOURS of alert time, to work on rolling and play and even when I put him in his chair and turn on music he did not fall asleep but cood and such. So Sunday night I stayed up late and did the same thing! Gave him meds really really late. Monday we went to therapy and he had one of his best sessions ever! He even pushed himself forward in the gait trainer ON HIS OWN several times! So all week I have been doing that staying up late and giving him meds late so they are not do till afternoon and he has had 3 amazing days of therapy! Went to Pediatrician yesterday and told her about it and she agrees it most likely is medicine , the seizure one is what we think. She called a pharmaceutical doc at picu and he helped give an idea of what we should try and go down to. We lowered the dose by 12 percent starting last night. So tonight I will give meds at normal time and see how alert he is tomorow. Next tuesday they will do blood levels again and see where he falls and we are praying no seizurues or anything from the change. Tomorow we finally see the Pediatric GI. I am VERY VERY VERY NERVOUS and emotional about this appointment. It is at the hospital I SWORE I would NEVER take my kids too and here I am taking him. BUT it is only for consult and we will see what happens. Any tests and procedures they have agreed to do at our hospital and have them sent to them so it is just the day of going there and going through it all to get to him and get the consult. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE. Celeste is dong well. She is dating the Children's Pastor at our Church and they have very similar callings on their life and we can so see how the Lord can use the two of them together. She is very involved in our young adult group at Church and it has been so amazing for her to have this group of friends at the same place in life as she is in. She is working herself to death at her job and I keep praying for better and better for her in that department. I do not see her alot even though she lives here and my heart aches but I am so thrilled she is happy :) Now on to some pics :)

look at that TALL baby boy baring some weight on his legs!!! :) He was dancing with his girlfriend (oops I mean his PT Lisa :)

in the gait trainer workin hard! :)

he looks SOOO BIG in there :)

rolling baby! :) he is trying so hard and helping more and more. he does from time to time roll completely alone. If he can push up on his arms and throw head back then he can do it! LOL

sitting nad lookin at Miss Lisa :)

sitting up ALONE!!!!! he can sit for over 2 minutes. This day I would say he went about 4 or so at least!

LOOK at that face! :)

holding up our head and pushing the vibrating dog :)

Noah is such a sweet big brother :) DONT LOOK at mess in background please!

Noah has stayed in Children's Church about 4 times now! He still cries but if it is one of 2 ladies that we give him too he will eventually calm down! He loves them so much but really still does NOT want to go in without me. We keep taking him though when its the folks he knows and loves because we know he needs Church on his level and I NEED worship again! Its been almost 3 years! This was takin by my friend Erin, the children's Church teacher most Sundays! :) She text it to me this past week when I was home sick and had sent Noah with Celeste :)

waiting for my mom at walmart and being adorably cute :)

Nannie treated us to Red Lobster :) NOAH eating his salad! He did not care for the red cabbage in this one :) LOL

HE LOVES HIS SALAD :)

our latest attempt at potty training FAILED again. This was as GOOD as it got, most of the time it was SCREAMING and kicking. He just really does NOT want to do it and to be honest not sure he can. He could not keep his trainin pants dry for 10 minutes. Soaked after Nap and when wake in am. Maybe his wife will potty train him when he gets married!

NOT happy to be in training pants :(

NOT SURE why this is sideways :( ugggh. But this is NOAH in the swing at the park. Those who have bene around awhile may remember the first time I took him here and put him in this baby swing he FLIPPED OUT! This day he was not thrilled with it but he did not scream and let me swing him a few minutes!

Sideways again! uggh Jeremiah on the other hand LOVED the swing and smiled and coo'd the whole time :)

I know most of the picture is not here but I just LOVE how his eyes are shining with the smile!

soo playful :) I LOVE watching him play and I ADORE when Noah smiles :)

more panda boy smiles :)

Noah's bday party invitation! :) He LOVES trains at this point :) we found a trackless train they will bring and set up for the kids to ride for an hour,. Then cake, ice cream , presents and train pinata :) Will be fun! PRAY for me as I figure out how to make a TRAIN CAKE! eeek!

Thought I would share our school mascot for our Home School! :) If you would like to see our blog for school you can go here: http://trainupachild-dca.blogspot.com/

School Logo :)

Just started the blog and it will be having more and more on it as time goes on. This year we are doing more lapschool than anything. We might do one day a week for april and may. Next year I will probably do preschool 2 or 3 days a week. Though every day is school when you homeschool! :)

Well, all my bloggy friends out there in cyber land! I feel lonesome! Please leave me some commets! I miss yall :)

I am blowing yall kissses in the wind! :)

Jeremiah's 3rd Birthday Party

2011-03-31T17:09:00.002-05:00

If you wish you could have been there, this is as close as it gets. Please keep us in prayer as you have time. Several unspoken needs. Me personally and the family too.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I send all my online friends and those who have become family KISSES IN THE WIND!

Pictorial update :)

2011-03-26T12:20:00.000-05:00

Thought I would post a bunch of pics as a kinda update on life the last couple months. :) my laptop that was sent to me to use till I could afford to fix the power port in my dell is now dead :( so I only have phone except for borrowing a lap top . hope you enjoy pics :)

look how he is holding self up :)

Jeremiah ready for Church. Any old times recognize the outfit Jeremiah is wearing????

Celeste and her sweet boyfriend Dallas :) We had him over for a night of Pizza and games! The catch, I made THEM make the homemade pizza's :) I think they had fun though! :)

happy baby

after watching Jeremiah at Hippotherapy for 4 donated sessions they let Noah have a turn to ride Paso on the last session.

Miss Lisa our PT and Hippotherapist!

new braces :) Can't believe how much he has grown :)

getting new AFO braces, see Noah's arm "helping" :)

nice AFO man puttin on new afo's Noah assisting!

Happy St. Patrick's day :)

playin ball :)

holdin up good! :)

rare photos of Noah and Celeste SMILING. They BOTH hate the camera and I can barely get pics! Lucked out this day they were playin to much to care!

zerbert time!

had these made on ebay for Miah's party today :) They wrap around a Hershey's minature! :)

Happy Chinese New Year!

Stir Fry!

so happy this day :)

Jeremiah is wearing the outfit Noah wore his first Chinese New year. Noah is 'fixin' it. lol

at therapy. messy play in pudding! He was not thrilled but did it!

beautiful

ONLY MY BABY would SMILE while on the vent! His T and A ended up being WAY more dangerous and complicated than anyone thought. when tried to take of the vent 2 days after surgery he crashed and we spent a few VERY ROCKY days of him not breathing and the vent issues. finally a week after they got him off! THANK YOU GOD for ANOTHER JEREMIAH MIRACLE! This was right before he came off! He was like I AM READY :)

Day before surgery. LOOK at the grip. wonder if he knew what was comin :(

sleeping panda boy!

ponies

2011-03-11T15:42:00.002-06:00

Jeremiah's bday is comin the 29th of this month and so we are havin a bday party on satruday the 26th. Jeremaih soo responds to horses and ponies so we are movin heaven and earth to give him a pony party! See the invitation! THANK TO MY AMAZING FRIEND TIFF!!!! I made the picture before my laptop died :( and Tiff took it from there! the location and all are blocked out but if you are a friend and want to come let me know and I will surely let ya know how :)

My child

2011-03-04T06:45:00.001-06:00

I am a parent of a child with special needs. My child is strong, therefore my child keeps me strong. My child is a fighter, therefore I continue to fight for my child. My child is my inspiration giving me the strength and the will to fight and do what I can for my child. I will NEVER give up!!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Awesome news

2011-03-01T11:21:00.000-06:00

God is a God of miracles!! The first doctor, Dr. Edelman is back on service. We are being discharged!!!! He says we can work on feeding at home with out Pediatrician!!!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

LOOK LOOK LOOK!!!!

2011-02-28T07:10:00.002-06:00

LOOK LOOK LOOK!! We are breathing room air and holding our o2 sat at 97!!!!!!! Pray he keeps it up please and that he tolerates trying to go back up to normal feeds!! Please pray he does well today when the therapist come in to work with him and keeps his Sats up. Please pray if the retching episodes are gonna come back they come back while he is here and nurses can are it!!! Thanks for all the prayers through all of this and please keep them coming!

PRiCELESS

2011-02-27T07:00:00.000-06:00

For Noah lovers a picture that was just too cute!!

1 night in PICU $1000 + , a cafeteria meal $5 + each, rocking you baby that they couldn't get off life support ... PRICELESS!

More prayer needed, Ok so the baby in next room has RSV and the woman that helps in there has been playing with Noah alot and was just in OUR room visiting with me and I asked what was wring with their baby and she said RSV. I am freaking now!! Jeremiah is not fully protected because he only had 1 shot. Noah is not protected at all but won't be as serious for him if he got it. For Jeremiah it could be deadly. Please pray!!

Jeremiah had a pretty good night. Still off the vent and on oxygen! He is having apnea episodes so praying those away and trying to figure out what is up with that.

Please pray for me emotionally. Between all going on withJeremiah and how the whole family is dealing with it and all I am a disaster.

I am so very thankful to the LORD that Jeremiah is off that vent And doing well. Trying to just hold onto that and to him! He is just now dealing with all the surgery healin because the vent kept that throat irriatated the entire time.

Thank you for continual prayers!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Rockin

2011-02-26T16:11:00.000-06:00

So Jeremiah has been off the vent now for 31 hours and is breathing well!! He is on oxygen but they are trying to wean him down. Here is a picture of us rocking when they finally let me hold him 12 plus hours after extubation. He is runnin feverand feelin yucky.

Noah is doing really well considering. Going home atnoght with daddy and jei jei who are takin turns on sleeper sofa with him and having fun slumber parties!! Heehee he is spending lots of time with his daddy when Celeste is working and he can't be back in picu he cam come 30 minutes at a time and they are way generous with that as long as he is quiet and all. Please keep praying as the surgery healing begins now since the tube has irritated it all this time. Please pray breathing continues to improve and feeds go well as they increase and for healing and all.

Can't believe..

2011-02-25T09:44:00.001-06:00

Can't believe I get to say this!!!!
He is OFF vent and breathing with 02!!! They pulled it at 8:30 and he is breathing!! God is awesome!!!!!!!!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Only my Jeremiah

2011-02-25T07:46:00.000-06:00

Didn't really plan to put pics up on vent but how could I Not share miah smiling at me even on a ventilator! I would be pulling the tube out and he is smiling!!
He was smiling really big before I got the camera but you cam see s little smile here

For those following the nurse issue I did meet with nursing supervisor and miah was assigned a new night nurse last night. She is wonderful!! We had her back this summer a few times and she was one of our favs. There was physical evidence that his day nurse yesterday documented and was mad about to back up my story. His face was crusted over from drainage of nose that was not suctioned all night. Diaper drenched, bed dirty including blanket under head nasty with secretions , etc . And the monitor records will prove his huge desat at the time I said from he roughly turning him and jostling the tube. Also there is leakage around the tube now from jostling. Just know other than her his care has been impeccable and now she is not allowed to be his nurse. We have a new dr. One who travels all over to teach doctors how to care for very sick babies . He is one of the two top guys in the country!! How cool God brought him to Jeremiah!!'

Praying he can get him off the vent and doing well!!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Only my sweet frogie boy

2011-02-25T06:41:00.001-06:00

Thursday morning vent and update

2011-02-24T10:59:00.001-06:00

:( It's been a rough rough night. The nurse (the one I do NOT like from last time) was here last night and she so scares me and i don't trust her. She is different than the other nurses and she turns him with no help to hold the tube so it wiggles and hurts him and gags him and he starts chokin and coughing and desatting . On top of that when he alarms and is coughing and choking on fluid she just looks at him. Everyone else suctions it out if his mouth so he is not chokin and strangling on it. He kept desatting all night cuz she wouldn't help him. This morning his face was filthy from all that had drained on it that should have been suctioned. She acts like she does not even want me in the room much less to touch him. I just don't think she wants what is best for him at all :( and I am literally scared when she is his nurse.

I keep telling myself to be content in all things and have tried so hard and have been extra kind to her and tried to help even, which she doesn't want me to do anything with him, even touch him. I have tried to make friends thinking that will help but not helping. Was so hoping he would be off the vent tonight so it won't be as big a deal.

Different doctor came in. Dr. Scott. He is not getting off vent today. Another test tonight. If he can stay on pressure support 5 and 5 with no apnea episodes then maybe tomorow try to get him off the vent. I am gonna ask for a different nurse but am scared. When you complain alot of times they are mad and the care is worse.

I soo just want my baby breathing on his own and in my arms!!

Tears seem to flow so much lately but I have to hold onto GOD IS ABLE

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Feb. 23rd 8:38 am update

2011-02-23T09:41:00.001-06:00

So they came in and said they are gonna try and wean him down throughout the morning till he is all him and no vent actially breathing and see how it goes. If he does good maybe extubate later today. He is still having frightening episodes of desatting and it is so hard to see. He is coughing alot and has tons of drainage from mouth and nose and appears to be retching or vomiting at times. Hard to tell on the vent. Soo pray they get him off soon.

We were so blessed yesterday with visitors! All who laid hands on this baby and prayed. My friend Erin and her son who is Noshs buddy,my mom, friend sandy and her children that we got close to last time when both our sons were on vents. Our pastor and his wife, our home health nurse, our childrens pastor, our worship leaders/ youth pastors/ nursery director and their son, and my sweet sweet friend Ronie from cell group at Church that brought the prayer blanket. Such an amazing sweet time of being loved on by God through HIS people. So neat to learn more and more about friends through sharing and realizing we are alike in some fun ways. :)

I had a very upsetting time yesterday while my mom was visiting. She had her feet propped in the rocker recliner waiting for me to rock miah when he is off the vent. A nurse comes in and says , you are gonna be mad at me but I am gonna take your recliner because you can't rock your baby right now anyway. I totally lost it. Not because I was angry or selfish , obviously another mom needed it more but because I don't need it now and got overwhelmingly scared about what if I never need it. I know that won't happen but for a brief time I was just soo sad and bawling about that chair being taken. I know it want a sign other than to the fact I can't hold my baby right now but it still Sent me off:( I told them when this baby us off the vent they will find me a rocker recliner and I do not care if there are enough for all rooms. There should be!

It's now 9:38 and they have Been bringing the rate down on vent and so far he is doing good. Please bathe this baby in prayer. I love him soo much and soo want him doing better so he can focus on living and continuing
To learn to sit up and roll and step in gait trainer!!

Thanks for caring guys

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

The gift of life

2011-02-22T10:17:00.001-06:00

Well, Jeremiah is a bit better after a really hard day yesterday. He crashed several times while on the vent yestetday and had everyone Jumpin. The night was his best yet. He had a few episodes of desat on oxygen and a few coughing spells and need to suction but no crashes! Still on vent support. The big doc just came in and said during the night his breathing would slow waaaaay down and the vent had to do way more. They want him to breathe over the vent and he is some but not during night. Please keep praying he will get safe enough to get off the vent soon

Before I got that above posted he started up with some episodes today. They are not as severe but still has everyone jumping. I now know there is a pink button on the wall that makes All docs nurses RT etc run into the room. He seems a bit stronger to me and one coughing spell really looked like the gagging he does on formula. I am praying so hard they can get him off the vent and that he will be better an better!

Had a wonderful visit with sweet ladies from my cell group! 2 yesterday and one this morning and the childrens pastor has been by several times as have his home health nurse and his therapists. Just had an encouragement and message from God by way of a sweet friend. Yesterday during worship God gave her hubby a vision of Jeremiah and He drew it out. It is of Jeremiah in his hospital crib and angels all around him! I sioo needed to hear that reminder!! It brought tears to my eyes and as I think about it now I am bawling! I can't wait to see the drawing!! So made me feel God saying to me eyes of Faith girl not of flesh! The docs may not understand what is all going on but God does! And He is here!! God ia the giver of life and breath! He is the one who created the air! Life is such a gift and more precious than I think any of us realize! U am thanking God for every second of life for this baby and everyone in my life! I am praying that i can keep my eyes in HIM and Remember GOD IS ABLE!!!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

7:47 am Monday February 21st

2011-02-21T07:51:00.001-06:00

Please pray. Temp 104 axillary(underarm) Tough night breathing wise. Still on ventilator with pressure support with many many apnea episodes last night. Tryin to wean some sedation today to help breathing. But need it not to allow him to get too agitated either. Pray they can find cause of high temp and get under control quickly! Thanks everyone

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Jeremiah urgent

2011-02-20T10:57:00.001-06:00

Jeremiah is having a hard time. They tried to take him off the vent this morning and he crashed :( heart rate oxygen sat breathing everything was nothing . He was totally blue. The moat frightening sight I have ever seen. They had to work on him and made me leave eventually while they did. I was crying and praying alone In the hall. They finally got him going again and he is on the ventilator again. We are keeping his ICU room very quiet and prayerful. Allowing him to rest and heal and helping him to do that! I can't tell you the fear in my heart and how the sight of him like that is etched into my mind. Please keep him in prayer. GOD IS ABLE. That is what I keep holding on to!

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Jeremiah surgery

2011-02-19T18:39:00.001-06:00

Just letting y'all know Jeremiah had surgery yesterday and the huge adnoids are out as are the tonsils . They were blocking the airway big time. He had some issues in surgery with stopping breathing before surgery even started. And then another time as well. He had a very rough night last night but today has been better. He is on the ventilator and not thrilled about it. Please keep him in prayer!

Noah is doin well and makin big strides at bein an awesome big brother! More later. Miah needs me

To God be the glory, great things HE has done!!!!!!!! Sending this by the blessing of my phone!!!

Fear...Faith...Blessing

2011-02-14T17:12:00.000-06:00

Fear..Faith...Blessing.. is sorta what all is goin on in my heart and mind lately. Lots has been going on and is coming.

Fear... well I have had some fear in me lately and more coming as friday approaches. Life has been outright HARD lately. We have had Jeremiah sick and in hospital, Noah very sick and not holding anything down, me sick on and off , Celeste is sick now and on Tuesday my mother scared the snot out of me by having a mini stroke. We had to call the ambulance. they got here and said her blood pressure at that point (45 minutes into it) was 190/120. They believe it was higher when she was first having symptoms in her room that she was concerned about but waited over 30 minutes to come tell me. at the time she came to me her speech was slightly slurred and out of place. Rather than saying "I think i am having trouble talking" she said something like " I trouble with my talk I think me" or something like that, words all in wrong places. Was a VERY scary time. She is doing fine. They said it was a mini stroke, and it reveresed itself. She came home from the hosptial a few days later afte rmany tests. They feel this is a warning stroke for something bigger coming but at this point none of the tests really show them what is coming. They put her on a blood thinner and are watching her cholesterol and blood pressure closely. She will be needing me to take her to the doctors more frequently and will be seeing more different kinds of docs now. FEAR was big during all that, and also when Noah was so sick.

Another area of weird fear is my daughter has found a young man she is now officially dating. He is a liscensed children's pastor in Assembly of God Church. They both have similar callings on their lives and we can see where God can really use them as a couple. they and we and our pastor and the young man's mother all prayed for a month before they officially began dating. Well the 5th marked the month and they are dating. Now. Celeste was raised since age 5 for courtship but in this case she has chosen to not follow that path. At the age of 22 I can not stop her and it is very upsetting to me in ways but my goal for it was to protect her and guard her heart so nothing including her heart and emotions are givin to a man that is not her hubby. No baggage to carry into her marriage someday. Well, the dating is with accountability because of his ministry and all but he did share with me that he would not go forward into a dating relationship with her if he did not beleive she was the woman God had to be his wife. They do plan to take things slow (unlike her mama when she courted! LOL). The Fear part comes with the leave and cleave that will be coming and to be honest in ways is already happening. Her mind and heart think of nothing more than being with him, which is as it should be if this is her husband to be and all. But for a mama's heart it is still scary. I want nothing more than for my daughter to find the man of her dreams, get married have babies by birth and adoption and have an awesome ministry together. BUT things will be different between me and my baby girl, and they already are and it is sad but at the same time I am excited and happy for her but FEAR of what life will be like in coming years is scary.

Another FEAR thing is Friday. Friday, February 18, 2011 Jeremiah will be having surgery at Suttons Children's Hosptial in Shreveport, LA. FEAR is a a HUGE word in my heart right now. I really wish I could run for the hills and avoid this whole thing. BUT the doctors and my husband both tell me it is best for Jeremiah and it is goin to have to be done. His adnoids are blocking his nasal passage and it is affecting his breathing and also causing ALOT of mucous to form which he is then choking and gagging on. Leaving things as they are is dangerous. They are doing everything is the best timing possible. The reason for the date is because they (and us) want the same Intensivist that took care of him when he first came home to be over his care in the Intensive care after his surgery :) Well, he was off service and comes back today. So the surgery is planned for Friday. He will see the ENT on Wednesday and make sure he is in the best possible shape for the surgery. The plan is for a week in ICU after the surgery. They are more concerned about how he will do recouperating than the actual surgery and also getting him back off the ventilator of course. THIS is where the FAITH comes in. I HAVE to have faith and hold onto God. I want so bad for him to do soo much better than what they expect. I pray he gets off the vent much easier than they think and it out of ICU earlier than expected. But my biggest prayer is he have as painfree a time as possible with it and that he is strong enough to do so well. I pray against complications of any kind. The thought of goin back inot the ICU with my baby again sends me into shivering sobs. The thought of seeing him on a vent and not being able to pick him up and comfort him hurts me to my very core. I have to have FAITH that GOD will somehow use this to increase the glory! That somehow someoone will see the hand of God that might not otherwise. and I have to have FAITH that God is in control and will keep us safe! AND I have to have FAITH that Noah will do fine through it all too. ICU means periods where he can not be with me. It means Bobby and Celeste on surgery day and then just bobby the rest of the time will be having to try and help Noah deal with the times he can't have mama. And that I will have to at times let someone else be with Jeremaih and come out and spend time with Noah. It is so hard to feel split in two as a mama. When I am with Jeremiah and tending him I will want to be comforting Noah and helping him not be so uspet and scared to be away from mama and when I am calming Noah and spending time with him I will want to be with Jeremiah and making sure every need is taken care of and that he hears my voice and knows I am there loving him and have not left him. sigh FAITH, I want to do better at it. I NEED to do better. I feel like in the past few months I have NOT been a good child of God at all, have not been a faithful women or a light for Christ. I feel like I have been complaining too much and feeling overwhelmed. I may feel that way but would have it no other way. I LOVE my family and can't wait for God to grow it again in HIS time. I get mad at myself when life seems hard and I feel overwhelmed because I feel like a failure and that other moms would do so much better at this. I look at mentors of motherhood such at Michelle dugger, some above rubies moms, a friend with 10 kids, and I think WHY can't I be as faithful as them. Why can't I keep it together, why can't I have the calm sweet dispostion. what is wrong with me. I know if I have FAITH that just maybe God will change me into a better mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc. HE is the potter and I need to be moldable clay. Below is part of the blessing. This sunday in Children's church the teacher and children laid hands on Jeremiah and prayed for him for his upcoming surgery. Even if you are not a person of faith, please watch the video. It is such a sweet thing to behold and Jeremiah lifts his head up and turns toward the children, just like he is looking at them and knowing they are praying for him :) We are so blessed to have this Church in our lives and the prayers. I PRAY that nothing happens to change that blessing.

Noah still is not willing to stay away from mama and is still having fits and different issues. I have a luncheon meeting with the Nursery director and the teachers on thursday and I am very nervous about this meeting. We so love this Church and really feel this is where we are suppose to be and I adore the children's program and worry they are tired of me going in with noah. and even without noah needing me in order for Jeremiah to be a part I need to be there to care for him. I just worry about this whole meeting and am prayerful I can express correctly the needs of my children. It seems like NOBODY really understands Noah or even Jeremiah and his needs either. They both have special needs, just of a different kind. Seems so many think they know the perfect answer but dont take into affect so many things that make Noah , Noah. Anyway, please just be praying this meeting goes well and the Blessing of the Church and children's program can continue as is. My biggest fear is having to only take the boys to worship and them missing out on the wonderful time meant just for them.

I feel on the verge of tears so much lately and I do NOT want to be that way. It was spoken over me a long time ago that my name would be JOY! I want to exude the JOY of the Lord, and not be bogged down in how I physically feel or the FEAR and lack of faith. afterall fear is the absence of faith.

thanks for letting me share to those who still read along. It somehow helps, especially when some of you dear bloggy mama's comment with a pat on the back, word of encouragement or a prayer or soemthing. Now for what yall really want :) a few pics :) heehee

Noah showin off his color sheet. This side was done in light orange you can barely see he colored on it.

Jeremiah's color sheet mama helped him do. I put crayon in his hand and hold it and sometimes he will move on own and sometimes I have to do it. He actuall help it for a bit on his own yesterday and I moved his elbow!

Getting instruments out for worship

Noah thrilled to have scissors and get to try and cut!

Praying before class

A smiley guy!

sittin in his tumble form chair that mama was soo excited to get for $50 including shipping. They cost about $700 normally.

My favortie picture of Noah in I dont know when. Getting ready to go out in the snow/ice we had. He reminds me of another adoptive mama's oldest son so much especially in this picture.

hangin out at the hospital on daddy's birthday.

one of Noah's sweet sweet moments. See his hand on Nanny's arm. Worried about her while they were doing things to her :) He looks grown in that outfit. He got choked and got sick on his clothes and sent daddy to the store to get a cheap shirt, he got one 2 sizes too big. LOL

my brood :)

Noah nappin in daddy's recliner! His menagerie grows constantly but ALWAYS has Buddy (the panda) elmo and George( a gorilla wiht a paci that was Celeste's when little

another shot of Miah in his chair. He looks like he is about to get up out of there :)

SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW!!! IN LOUISIANA

2011-02-04T21:49:00.000-06:00

So we got SNOW! Now, not sur eit is real snow, and some have said it was more ice or whatever but it LOOKED pretty and it was enough to play in! We could not figure out actual snowballs or snowmen even though we tried several times throughout the day :) lol It was too powdery the first time and too hard by the last time we went out. Just did not work for us. It never went above freezing so we MAY see it tomorow. not sure yet. Anyway here are some pics of our fun in the snow. Not near enough pics cuz everyone wanted to play more than be the photographer :) lol

Jeremiah did go out but I did not leave him out for long. I was worried about him being too cold, but then when I took him right inside the door so he could hear us and then sit with Nanny while we kept playin I felt soo guilty. SOO hard to balance making sure he experiences ALL of life and protecting him at the same time. IF I end up having Celeste home tomorow again to help (daddy has to go to work no matter what the roads do :( ) anyway I will try to take him out a little longer tomorow. I did not let him touch the snow, though it was snowing so it touched him as it came down. HE loves it outside and so was quite content. Just renewed my desire for a big ole front porch and ramp :)

Jei Jei loved it just as much as Panda Boy :) She tried to make a snow angel and the first try the snow was so hard that nothing happend at all, then they jumped up and down on it to loosen it all back up, then she did it and it sorta worked except you could see the mud below as the outline. LOL

Mama and Daddy had a bit of fun too! Celeste had fun with her camera taking these then I had fun making the collage. LOVE to do that kinda thing.

My happy frogie boy this evening :)

this was Noah's VERY FIRST GLIMPSE of the snow this morning!

Here he is looking out at it and chompin at the bit to go outside :)

this was our attempt to make a snowman, was so difficult Celeste gave up and made a snow seal! LOL

Need to talk

2011-02-01T18:42:00.000-06:00

I am bawling as I type. Today MY dog Bella left this earth. I am not handling it well. Been a very emotional day. Trying to be as normal as possible with Noah and all so we are watching Little House on the Prairie and it is the episode where there baby son dies. NOT a good show for me to see. My heart is breaking watching the grief and for some scary reason all I can think of is how would I survive if it was Jeremiah and then I remember that according to the Neuro it is going to be Jeremiah. :( I soo want to hold on to faith and to beleive that He is going to outlive any expectations they have for him and for that matter us. A parent is suppose to go before the children. and I know GOD is bigger than prognosis, but for some reason today it is REALLY getting to me and this FEAR is creeping in big time and sadness. Great sadness. and then fear of not being strong enough to survive loosing him and what will happen to the rest of the family and just crazy thoughts. I dont want to go crazy, I dont want to loose my baby and I want to believe the Neuro is beyond wrong and there is nothing to say that he is right at this point. Jeremiah is doing well, did much better with the mycoplasma pneumonia than they ever thought he would. He has made it through things nobody would believe he would make it through. SO WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS :( UGGGH anyway just needed to get this out. Some days it is so hard living with a death sentence for your baby hanging over your head. BUT I HAVE TO SPEAK LIFE! LIFE LIFE LIFE!

For those who don't remember. Here is a picture of my Bella:

And here is a shot of my sweet boys! Noah was using his play cell phone and trying to take a picture of him and Jeremiah! lol

run away...

2011-01-28T18:19:00.000-06:00

So, I am feeling really yuck at this point and very guilty but I seriouly want to run away for a night or weekend! For real.. it is soo unlike me to want to leave my kids and so I am in tears over this. I am not sure why this desire is so strong and I will have to get over it because there is noone on the planet I can leave Noah with as he will scream and thrash and harm himself the ENTIRE TIME :( Poor guy, his attachement issues are so great. I spoke with a therapist friend about it and she said even with him being 16 and a half months old when we came home that he still fears that I will abandon him. I know that it was very traumatic for him when we got him but I really did not expect him to till be soo afraid of me leaving over 2 years late. It is soo hard for him even for me to take a bath and leave him in the next room. We do it but I alway end up rushing back out to a major come apart. he will start out ok for awhile now and then something happens. Sunday school they bring him to me becaue they can't handle him when he wigs. So I know that it is something that we have to deal with and the day will come eventually. I mean he can now go with Celete or bobby on an errand and leave me and be ok for a short time, but I can't leave him. and when he gets tired all bets are off. Then my sweet frogie boy with his special needs most are not able to care for him or comfortable doing so. I MOST OF THE TIME don't realy care anyway because I am not one that likes to leave my kids so its fine, BUT for some reason right now I just want to get away...run away.. for a night or the weekend. Silly thing is even if they were at a point where I could leave them with someone I would worry the entier time anyway..lol sooo what is WRONG WITH ME and why can't I just be ok with the fact tha tI have to pull it together. I dont want to run away and do anything particually great or anything, it more silly. I want to go to a hotel with Bobby and snuggle in bed and watch Tv and hold the flipper and just watch fun stuff, nothing with Elmo or barney. More like The duggars and house hunters property virgins, yes to the dress, cake boss, cooking,, or a bunch of romantic comedies or something! and have food delivered to me in the bed the entire time anytime I was hungry or thrirty. silly I know. The silliest thing is I am on verge of tear on and off today becaue I soo feel this urge to run away and desire to just be alone with hubby and snuggle have a back rub without Noah JUMPING on my back, etc. But I dont want to leave my kids, I love them, I KNEW that they had needs that would require me to not be able to just go off and leave them with someone so I am so conflicted with my feelings right now and I am SURE this makes NO SENSE at all to anyone else :( And to top it all off I am SOOOO HOT! its JANUARY and I am burning up! Gotta love Louisiana! sigh well just thought I would blog because getting the feelings out might make me feel better and help me deal with them and be happy that I have my family and that God has blessed me with these sweet treasures! And I am happy. I think I need to find a baby bed mattress or a toddler bed that someone is getting rid of and put it at the foot of my bed. Once Noah is asleep maybe we could move him there and snuggle and watch quiet tv, or play cards or something and it would be a mini vacation. lol

I wanted to share :)

2011-01-21T19:08:00.000-06:00

Hi all :)

Our agency is on a trip to Asia and on that trip they will be visiting the orphanage the boys were living at while waiting for us to find and then come get them. Jeremiah being so sick when we first got him and then arriving home and ending up in hospital and Pediatric Intensive Care Unit really upset all of them as well as us. Then the awful prognosis he was given again all are upset and prayerful for him. Our agency asked me to make a DVD of Jeremiah to kinda show a glimpse into his life now that he is home and that he is doin a bit better. I battled in my mind whether to include pictures of him in the hospital and all and decided to focus more on where we have been since then rather than that time. Now, I wonder if I might should have but oh well. Anyway I made the montage and the agency had it put on DVD, a copy for them a copy for the orphanage and Sister Therese and they made us one too :) Such a sweet thing and we can watch it on our TV now :) I made this the end of December but wanted to wait to share it till it had been viewed by SLC Staff and Nannies so they could see it live there since some of them do follow along on our blog and facebook from time to time. I was told they would be seeing it on January 21st so it is no early am on the 22nd in Taiwan so I know they have seen it now. I PRAY they liked it and that they had a peace about Jeremiah and that we are doing all we can to give him a good life and walking in faith that the prognosis is wrong but living life to fhe fullest even more so because of the threat! Anyway I wanted to share with all of you :) It is a bit long but I PRAY you will watch it anyway! I give you a GLIMPSE INTO JEREMIAH:

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

January Happenings at The Sisemore's

2011-01-20T11:57:00.000-06:00

We have had some illness and quite a bit of business happening around here lately and MOM (ME) has not been feeling so great physically or emotionally at times. I think EXHAUSTION and worry has got the best of me lately. I am feelin overwhelmed with my home, figuring out schooling for Noah that is fast approaching, therapy for Jeremiah, and just life in general! I am sorry I have neglected this blog for those who do faithfully follow and want updates on my sweet Asian Prince's I am sorry. Sometimes I just can't come up with the energy to talk other than snippets on facebook. If you follow and are not on FB with me but want to be shoot me a friend request. I am Tamijoy Sisemore there :) just mention you are from the blog :)

anyway thought I would share a few pics and a bit about how the boys are doing and things in general.

This is a shot of Noah looking at the hospital. The other day he had a runny nose and was not able to do his Occupational therapy but since my wonderful daugther was off work that day she came with and they went on an adventrure in parts of the hospital where they would not run into any of the therapy kids that can't be compromised and I was able to take Jeremiah to PT. Noah still will not stay with anyone without me there, and at home it goes into a dangerous fit and noone can handle him. BUT if he can leave me then most times goin on an adventure with select people works for a SHORT time, but once he decides he wants me then all bets are off. This day J session was only an hour so it worked out quite well.

Later the same day Jeremiah had a screening at the schoolboard because soon he will be getting services through the schools here at home in addition to our therapy at the hospital depending on what they decide he needs. Noah and Celeste hung out in the van and she took this picutre on her phone. He had cried and cried when I left them in the van and she had jumped through hoops to get him happy :) it worked and she was quiet excited :)

This is Noah on the adventure with Celeste at the hospital

Noah got Candy land and chutes and ladders for Christmas! Daddy is playing candy land with him here, IN HIS RECLINER! LOL with Noah standing beside the chair and playing. Silly but they had fun :)

This is a picture of the back of my hair! It gives me fits with tangles and all and tryin to figure out ways to care for it better. It is layered a bit with long layers but it tangles and usually up by my scalp. I threated to shave it bald but of course thougth better of it. I was never really taught alot of self care or primping or anything so I am feeling at a loss with alot of things but wanting to look more pretty and feminine even with my weight :( sigh I am also battling very very rough feet and elbows. Never had these issues before but at 42 I guess my skin is changing.

Put this picture up because I got a Bunco Game for Christmas in my stocking from Santa! I tried a few times to go to Bunco with a group of playgroup ladies but its really hard for me because of Noah and then on top of that the couple times I have been I was just not real comfortable. Anyway love the game and hope to have friends in from time to time to play it with a group like its meant to be played but you can do it with as little as two. The added bonus of it is basically you roll dice, there are different things you roll for each turn and all but Noah loves the game and beats us quite often! LOL he rolls and we keep up with what he is rollin for and he never really understands at this point what he is rollin for but he rolls and is happy whatever comes! LOL We play mexican train as a family too and Noah partners with bobby. We use to play alot of skip bo.but that is more to play without Noah as he can't really figure that out, but I guess he can play as a partner maybe :) We dont do family game night as often as we should but we are getting better at it. I want Noah to have memories of those nights for his lifetime. We set Jeremiah up in his high chair at the table and he hears all the activity and at times will smile so hard when he hears someone say YAY or bunco or yatzee! LOL We always have music on in the background and he enjoys that too :)

Jeremiah has a milk study done on Monday. The ENT wanted to know for sure if he was still refluxing and both ENT and I felt like he was based on his coughin, retching, choking and such that he does. Durin the test he did not do ANY of the above. BUT they assured me the test will show reflux even if he is not doing anything at the time. they are also lookin at the delayed emptying. Well, I still have not heard back from the doctor myself on the results but when we were at the ENT yesterday he got the results from Dr. Brown's Nurse on the phone for the reflux part of the test and it was NEGATIVE for reflux. I was shocked. But they say for sure he is no longer reflyxing. The Nissan Fundo surgery is doing its job. So the ENT is even more convinced than ever that Jeremiah's adnoids and tonils need to be removed. The adnoids are blocking the back of his nose and causing increased mucous and swelling and lowered o2 sats. He thinks all the choking, wretching, etc is all from this issue. I AM NOT excited about them doing surgery but was told they have to come out. The problem with this is that because of Jeremiah and his fragile state and all that has happened before they will put him in Pediatric ICU for a week after the surgery. It is very dangerous for him and it scares the snot out of me! But the doctor says evenutally that they have to come out and the longer we wait the worse the issues will be and more danger :( sigh Daddy also is like they need to come out honey! Well, the ENT Dr Hollier, will not consider doing the surgery unless Jeremiah's Intensivist Dr. Eddleman that took care of him in PICU before is the one caring for him. DR. E went off service today and will not be back till February 13th. So for now preop is sheduled for Feb 14th (Happy Valentine's Day) and then surgery is Feb 18th and he will be in Pediatric Intensive Care Unit for a week. PLEASE PLEASE be praying for him and for all of this. Dr. Hollier (ENT) did say that he would postpone and not do it if for some reason Jeremiah is not in tip top shape at that time. We have to do everything we can to keep him WELL around the time of the surgery. We do not need anything that will comrpomise him or put him in more danger. In addition to prayer for Jeremiah to do well, and safety and a recovery and an easy one and all, PLEASE pray for NOAH. Our family will move into the hospital again for the week but there will be alot of time Noah will be away form me like before :( He will be able to come in for visits and all to see me and Jeremiah and at night I will have to come out and get him to sleep and all but it will be rough, maybe even more rough than last time because he will remember that. The good thing is we are at the hospital soooo much that Noah is quite comforatble there! LOTS OF PRAYER NEEDED across the board.

This is a shot of my silly panda boy Noah. can you see the excema on his face :( it is SOOOO bad right now. We have tried EVERYTHING under the sun in the 2 years he has been home and at times NOTHING helps at all. Sometimes it is MUCH worse than others, now it is worse than it has EVER been. We went to pediatrician again yesterday about it. Tryin a few new creams so we will see how it goes. poor guy. I feel SOOO bad for him! She mentioned possible psorisis which I have no clue what that is but I need to find out. If this does not work then we go to a new dermatologist cuz I wont go back to the last one :( He is defintly growin though. He is a WHOPPING 35 lbs at 3 years and 9 months old! They did not do height so not sure on that. He was wearing clothes and crocks so might be a bit lighter but still wow!

a rare smiley shot. He wont smilie when I am tryin to take pics . ugggh

another rare smile, he does not smile on command and somedays he does not smile at all and others I am so blessed with a face like this :)

Here is Jeremiah getting cuddled by Lisa his PT after takin him out of the gait trainer! We are so blessed to have PT that loves him so much :) and has become a friend as well! Doesn't he look BIG sittin in her lap! He is about 32 inches long when we measured him in the stander at therapy and yesterday at pediatrician weighed in at 25 lbs 7 ounces with diaper and llng sleeve onsie on!

Some things are just inborn. We were blessed to be treated out to eat a few times lately at asian restaurants and Noah wants to use chopsticks like Daddy and Jei jei so we let him try. Remarkably for a 3 year old he does not do half bad! I mean far from perfect but way better than I think most 3 year olds would do.

My sweet mamma was with us this day. She is still livng here with us and doing amazingly well for her 67 years young! I worried so after she had to have her hip replaced but she is a thousand times better than before and much more active. She still has her ankle issues from the crushing of it over 20 years ago and I so wish it had gone as well as the hip did. She likes to go out to eat and wll take me and the children out to eat a couple times a month usually. on the 4th is her day to shop and get out and she gets quite frustrated if something happens or therapy falls on that day and she misses it! LOL We just dealy a day but its the end of the world to her! Last month therapy fell on that day in the morning so she came with us and read in waiting room and then the day progressed.

Frogie boy Jeremiah is still VERY aversive to food or even really bein touched around month and at times on his face at all. BUT on rare occasions while I am TRYING to feed him he will decide to have a smiley day and like it. Got a great shot here of one such day. I WORRY so much about the upcoming surgery knocking us back again because he will be on the ventilator again for awhile :( That is what caused all the issues to begin with. sigh, another reason I guess to go ahead and get it out of the way now. If I could just get the fear of him not making it out of my mind :(

I am beyond excited to share that our family will have a real vacation this year! We will be going to Great Wolf Lodge in Texas with a bunch of other families who have adopted children from Taiwan! :) This is the first annual family reunion of all of these kids! I CAN"T WAIT! We pray to do it EVERY year somehow, someway! We have researved our room at the amazing group rate that has been givin our group :) and will be going a day early and staying somewhere else in town to give us a bit of time to relax before all the festivites begin and allow Jeremiah to recoup for the trip an dall. Drive will be about 4 hours or so. and that does not count havin to stop for diaper changes, and if Jeremiah has to be calmed down or antyhing. I will be meeting friends I have known and loved through computer and watched them on their journeys to Taiwan :) I can't wait. I MIGHT be blessed to see again the couple that we shared our Gotcah Day with if it works out for them to come. And maybe see another sweet girl I prayed so hard for a family and met her in Taiwan and had the pleasure of coming to love her family too :) And one of my dearest friends on the planet is for SURE COMING! I can't tell you how excited I am for that! and several others are for sure or posibly coming! It will be the most amazing thing to meet everyone face to face! If you are a family that has or is in the process of adopting from Taiwn then PLEASE get in touch for details on all of this great reunion :)

Well, I will close for now as I got a bit long winded! Will try to be around a little more between this and my journey to a better me blog!

Pethera of Pictures

2011-01-17T19:33:00.000-06:00

Kinda Anti Climatic so belated but here ya go

2011-01-08T19:27:00.000-06:00

Christmas with The Sisemore's

note to self, NEVER buy the Christmas outfit online and NEVER wait till Christmas to put it on :( Noah's outfit was bought a size to big so he might could get 2 years out of it. That outfit was so missized! If its a 4T I am a monkey's uncle! It did not fit as well as the 2t he wore last year fits him now. BUT once I put it on hime he loved Santa and would not let me change him :( and I thought well its Christmas and if HE doesnt care should I?? I did but that's another story! LOL So now I for sure will need another outfit for this year but Jeremiah will hopefully wear this one next year!

part 1Belated Christmastime pics sorry

2011-01-04T20:44:00.000-06:00

Sorry I am no doing good about bloggin. I did start up my health/weight los blog again though only one post but if you want to see it you can find it on my profile. hope to do better on here. Things havebeen nuts. anyway Christmastime in pics

Party and Visit (TONS OF PICS)

2010-12-24T09:05:00.000-06:00

Thought I would share a few pics of the last few days. We had Bobby's Troop Christmas party at the bowling ally that had me in tears. Apparently the ELF that was being Santa is not special needs friendly :( and neither are Bobby's coworkers. I am DEALING with emotions on so much lately...BUT we had yummy food and Jeremaih bowled for the first time and Noah loved bowling again. I have a few pics from my phone and Celeste took some with her camera but I dont have those yet. There were soe on her camera of Bobby holding Jeremiah in front of Santa, but Santa did not offer to hold him like he did EVERY other child there, and when Santa walked around he spoke to all kids and babies, but not Jeremiah :( anyway,

We also visitied Bobby's older sister and her hubby yesterday for a Christmas visit. Noah calls them Nannie Beth and Poppy and it was quite fun. Tuesday we took homemade goodies up to the PICU and PEDS units Jeremiah was on when he came home and goodies and gifts to the boys therapists at the hospital and Noah's girlfriend! LOL He just really loves this one therapis that is not even a therapist of either of the boys! She put him to work one day helping her clean up a room and put things away and he has just adored her since! :) he gave her a heart shape pillow that said Mad 4 u! LOL Anyway, here are pics of recent Sisemore Christmas Season fun...

Enjoying the sounds and smells of the bowling ally

Noah looks HUGE in this outfit that is too big for him :)

the shirt says save time, SKIP my sister! LOL

off he goes to bowl his turn :)

such a big boy

FIRST time bowling! This ramp thing did not work so well, when we went to eat, someone took it, so we asked for another and liked the metal one better, Jeremaih could face front and the wheel chair went under that one and it worked so much better :)

blowing to cool it off :)

don't remember what he is reacting to but so cute :)

takin a turn with the other rack :)

Bowling is HARD work! LOL he fell asleep and did not finish his game!

can you see Noah's hands CLENCHING Bobby's neck?? HE had a FIT! So did NOT want to go to Santa after watching soo many kids sit on his lap, He wanted no part of it.

Finally Daddy got him to take the gift from Santa

YAY all done, get me away from that dude! LOL

you can see he is still a bit nervous sitting on the floor to open his gift.

Nannie Beth Lovin on Jeremiah :) He was pretty alert this visit and she was eating it up :)

Noah huggin the CAT before Nannie Beth :)

finally a hug for Nannie beth from Panda boy :)

with the gift he got! It is a floor foam puzzle from CARS! :) SOO NOAH

Jeremiah opening his gift! A musical player thing! PERFECT for him :) Jeremiah loves anything musical :)

A Christmas Smile :) He is awake, not sure why his eyes look closed.

Playing the Piano in our high chair! :)

an even bigger Christmas smile :)

loved this! He had the paci by his teeth but was grinning! :) We were rockin :)

I will be back in the next few days wiht more pics :)

MERRY CHRISTmas to you all! :)

Tami

CHRISTmas Fun! OOODLES of PIctures!

2010-12-17T13:36:00.000-06:00

My Neices came by for a visit!! from your left Sarabeth, Catherine (holding Emma Elizabeth), and Nana(actually Patricia but nickname is Nanna) Aren't they beautiful?? :)

Jeremiah was NOT impressed with decorating Gingerbread houses with the playgroup :)

Noah cookin with friends in the playgroup :)

Noah's Gingerbread House 2010

Eating some of the decorations :) heehee

He smiles until I grab my phone! WHAT is up with that! He is not suppose to see but he KNOWS I have my phone! LOL

workin on his house!

Macho man! LOL Aint he cute in his blue jeans! :) Had him partially dressed and he started acting so cute and it hit me he looked like a macho man! Also he managed to hold the paci in his mouth ALONE! Granted it was with teeth, as soon as he sucks he drops it, but it is still progress!

workin hard at therapy :) We would tell him turn it on and he would lift his head and hit the button and turn the music on :)

lookin so cute fixin to wrok with his special teacher that come to the house

lazin on the little couch together :)

another shot of macho man!

he is somethin else :)

settin on his Zebra watchin somethin on TV

Couldnt remember if I posted these or not. Jeremiah putting the FIRST ornament on the tree , the one that hung while he was waiting in Taiwan!

Noah lookin at the lights!

Noah puttin up HIS ornament that hung while waiting for him to come home!

My sweet baby boy

Jei Jei showin Miah the tree! :)

Noah holdin an ornament

Daddy helpin Noah with an ornament

isn't he gorgeous!

watchin and listenin to the Nativity that lights up, plays music and tells about Jesus!

Jeremiah helpin put the star on the tree! :)

Panda Boy acting soooo cute :) he is one fun dude! :)