Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

I feel like in alot of things that is what we do, we take two steps forward and then bam we are three steps backwards. But I know Noah is doin better and better and I know he is joyful and happy more and more so this is good. We have been workin on trying to just get him where he will play in our room somewhere! The ONLY room so far he has been happy without bein held is the living room. I suspect this stems from being raised for almost 17 months in one room at SLC. He literally wigs if we put him down and even sit on floor beside him to play. He shows some interest in the crib when it has toys in it but not for long. Well, we have decided to try and get him to stay in there and play for longer and longer periods. We are LITERALLY right beside the crib. He will play happy a few minutes and then cry and I will talk to him and reassure him, play peek a boo with him through the crib rails and it is beginning to work. Last night he played in there a good while and I sat in the chair RIGHT by it and read emails. Well, the next thing I knew HE WAS ASLEEP! I was like WOW! Then I cried. LOL I know you are like HUH? heehee but I did, then I felt guilty for not takin him out when he was fussin. Bobby was like but he wasnt fussin when he went to sleep, he was playin happy at that point. Then I worried if he was ready for all night. But we decided to try and go to bed. So we get in bed and I am like constantly lookin over at the crib, prayin over him, worrying. We sleep with music and a fan so then I am worried we wont hear him if he cries! NOW if you know Noah that was just silly on my part :) heehee but I am this worryin mama. So I never actually went to sleep. so a bit later he is coughin in the crib and I am worried about it but we are like wait and see what he does. It stops and he is quiet again. So then about 2 hours in the crib he wakes us SCREAMING! and so I go and pick him up. HE IS DRENCHED and smelly! He has thrown up all over himself and is NONE to pleased by it :( ugggh Poor guy, the first time he throws up and gets scared mama is across the room :( I felt so bad. I cleaned him up and he settled down in bed with us and went back to sleep. I still don't know WHY he threw up but I am so thankful he seems better. Here are pics of him at the beginning of the 2 hours on his first night to try and sleep in crib



Isn't he gorgeous???




I just love this little guy! :) So this mornin when he woke up I decided we should have a play session cuz he is so busy in our bed at 7 am! heehee so I put him in the crib with toys. He again fussed. I sat at computer and when he fusses I talk to him and he will calm a bit and play. It is a process. I just have to time takin him out after playtime when he is playin and not fussin.

We seem to be goin forward and back on eating too. I know this is all a process it just worries me I am not bein a good mom to him. But all I can do is pray and love him and do what I think is right as we go right?

It amazes me how MUCH I love this little guy! I so worried it would feel odd or I would have to learn to love the actual baby since it had been pictures I fell in love with, but nope. I loved him immediatly and each day is stronger and stronger. EVERYONE loves him! heehee We walk in a room and faces light up! :) and then his does too! He is such a people person but DONT try and take him from mama! :)

Well, I best get of here and see if we can begin the morning war, oops I mean breakfast! heehee

WE send you hugs and kisses in the wind!