LOVE and Tears

Early this week, I learned of the passing of two beautiful little girls in Ukraine, Margarita and Katerina. These little girls were living in the institution that babies are transferred to when they turn four. It really hit home for me because though Noah would have been sent there had he been in that country and had he not been adopted by someone. He was considered 'unwanted' and by some standards hopeless just like these and so many others. These girls could have had such a different life but they died of the flu. They suffered alone, without a mother to hold, nurture and love them. They died alone, without ever knowing the love of a family. My heart is heavy with the suffering that they knew during their short journey's on this earth. But my heart rejoices that they no longer suffer and that they are no longer alone, that they are now in the arms of a loving Father in Heaven. They now know LOVE!

Earlier today I received an article regarding children in institutions in Bulgaria. My heart breaks to think of these precious children, children like Noah and my friends Breelyn and so many others, children with limitless potential, suffering, without the love of a family, in these institutions.

These children cannot speak for themselves. They cannot call out to tell us of their suffering, of their pain, of their hunger, of their loneliness. They cannot, so we must do it for them. We must be a voice for these children.

For the next two days on Reece's Rainbow (February 14th-15th) the pictures of all of the waiting children in Bulgaria will be viewable by the general public in an attempt to raise grant money for them and help bring them home to loving families (you can ALWAYS donate, but this is a concentrated effort to get these children home as quickly as possible). Won't you please consider donating to the grant funds of these precious children? PLEASE follow the link to the page and donate even $5 will help! EVERY penny adds together to help! PLEASE pray about whether the Lord would have you to give one of these children or another child across the world a HOME and a Family and LOVE this Valentine's Day! Go HERE!

As you spend this day focusing on LOVE, imagine for me what you would think of love if you had NEVER been in a family. Never been kissed and hugged and loved on. If you grew up in a crib instead of rocking in a mother's arms! It rips me to shreds EVERY time I think of how often Noah's cries had to go unheard, and I KNOW it was not because of lack of caring at his orphanage but how much can a couple Nannies do to care for so many babies? Noah was in one of the best orphanages I have come to find out about and I know he still suffered because he was there. Imagine a place much worse. Please think about the most money you spent on a valentine's day gift today and give AT LEAST that much back to God in the way of helping one of his little ones! And please do consider if one of these is saying mommy or daddy to YOU!

In closing, I'd like to share with you a poem written by Meredith Cornish in memory of Margarita and Katerina. This really got me and most of it can be said of any orphan across the ocean waiting for a family to call their own!

While we were. . . .

While we were eating...
... they were hungry

While we were playing...
... they were restrained

While we were tucking our kids into bed...
... they were alone

While we turned up the heat...
... they laid in the icy cold

While we wrapped our children in blanket sleepers...
... they laid in their own excrement


While we sang songs and listened to music...
... they listened to the screams and cries of those around them

While we rocked our babies...
... they silently rocked themselves

While we hugged our kids...
... they scratched at their own faces and pulled their own hair for stimulation

While we cried over scraped knees...
... they moaned in their loneliness

While we brushed our daughters' beautiful hair...
... they had their heads shaven to stave off the lice

While we fought off the flu with love and nourishment...
... they got the flu and went Home.

No longer suffering... but so many more still are.



Margarita



Katarina

Diaper Boy

Hi all :)

I thought I would share some pics from the sweet sweet time I had last night with my baby boy! We were supposedly watching a family movie together, which I did TRY to watch and keep up with for the sake of Bobby and Celetse but Noah decided HE was my entertainment and I grabbed the camera! I will say before you see the pics and the video that my house is a WRECK! Now as excuse I give to you the fact that I had 6 children (between the ages of 4 months and 4 years), 2 dogs, a husband, and a mom to deal with all day and evening yesterday at the same time preparing for a trip! It was totally unexpected but my friend had an emergency and she was desperate! I love her kids but we were trying to get ready for a trip Celeste, Noah and I will be taking next week and so I have been washing like crazy household linens, clothes for all going and staying and such. Anyways by the time they were picked up last night I was a bit pooped to try and clean especially since I have been feeling under the weather to boot. Bobby suggested we watch a movie we got him for his birthday so we did! My house is never the best lookin on the block but this is a bit above :) lol Anyway, ALL that to say PLEASE don't judge me too badly on the condition of my house but these were too cute not to share!


Runnin Noah! :) He was in SUCH a good mood! :) He just goes and if anything or anyone is in the way you better look out! Brownie is laying there on the floor just got missed!


More running! He does ride this car ALOT but last night he decided to run across living room while pushing it and making LOUD noice the whole way! It is funny because I do think he hears better! :) He is making SOOOOO much more noise than he use too! All day if he wasn't verbally making noise he was banging things to make it! heehee. I know I should NOT let him run inside, but he was so cute I just didn't even think about it!


This shot was actually from earlier in the evening! Bobby was being amazing and helping my by stirring as I added some last minute things to the taco soup that did not need to cook as long! :) Noah wanted to help daddy! :) Daddy obviously does not mind!



Silly boy! LOVE the grin :)


More smiles! He was havin so much fun the camera did NOT bother him :)

Here is a picture from earlier in the day! :) heehee this is 4 of the 6 I had, the 2 younger( age 12 months and 4 months) had already been put down for nap! These guys were sitting on the couch so we could vaccuum after cleaning up toys and then lay some down on couch for naps! :) They are from the left, Samuel 2 and half, Trinity just turned 4, Tathen 2 and half, and Noah 21 months! :) They look like they are in a line up heehee

He is layin in my lap here with hands in his mouth but making all kinds of sounds! heehee :)

Great smile again! :) To bad he is not dressed! That would make a great 8 x 10 to frame :) I may do it anyway!

here he is climbing up my legs in my recliner! :) so cute

This is not a good shot but it is so cute! Laughin with mama!

And here is the cutest video! He began goin around tryin to march to something on the movie! By the time I got the video going the music on movie was done but he was so cute :) It is loud because the tv and me sound so loud but you can here him making some sounds and such also :)

I hope you enjoyed the glimpse into my night of entertainment with Diaper Boy half as much as I did living it!

WE send you blessings and Kisses in the Wind!

Hi/Lo Thursday

This post is part of "Hi/Lo Thursday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to read everyone else's "Hi/Lo" posts and for a chance to win $100.

HI All,

I am doing a HI/LO post to help spread the word about Riggs blog for Abby! This little girl needs all the prayer she can get! PLEASE follow the button to their site!

Ok, Now for my Hi of the past week! I guess for the Hi would that Noah did AMAZING through surgery and the doctor says he will hear better than he has ever heard in his life! The Hi is that even though I was petrefied to trust enough to let Noah have this surgery I did trust and NOAH will be better because of it! And as part of that Hi is that God had a dear friend call me on my cell phone at just the scariest moment to be there for me! It meant more than she will EVER EVER know that she would do that for me!

My low is actually somewhat the same in that the low point for me this week was my lack of faith that Noah would be ok, that even if the surgery turned out to not be helpful or necessary that God was going to be in control and would be with my baby! I KNOW these things but I did NOT act that way this past week. I can't tell you how many tears I cried. I would cry to bobby, I don't want to loose Noah! Now this is rediculous I know as the liklihood of that with this type of sugery is so very slim, but with anesthesia the risk is still there and my doubting self just couldn't help but fear it. I am actually ashamed of myself when I know several mom's whose children are fighting life stealing diseases that they have been told most likely they will die and they seem to be handling that much better than I did this small sugery. I am embarassed to admit my lack of faith but I guess the first step in dealing with something is admitting it.

Thank you Jesus that you protected my baby, took care of the need of his ears and began healing him through the hands of the physician!

WE send you blessings and Kisses in the Wind!

Noah Surgery!

Noah's surgery went well! Thank you Jesus! I was NOT allowed to go back with him till he was asleep because of Heppa Privacy laws. Funny heppa is to protect patients and NONE of the parents or children like that parents can't go back. So if it is to protect us seems we would have a say. oh well. They did give him some versed and he was VERY VERY LOOPY! heehee Basically he was drunk as a skunk. He let me hand him to the nurse to carry him back with no problem which has NEVER happend!! I was shocked. As soon as she was round the corner I broke down crying. I texted a couple people that he just went back and my dear friend Lora called and talked to me for a good while telling me what they were doing back there and such. Her hubby is an anesthesiologist and so she was albe to tell me exactly what was happening. It was so wonderful to have a friend there on the other end of the cell phone to help distract and calm me some! Especially since the procedure did take longer than even the doctor thought it would so I would have totally been going nutso! We found out that YES the Surgery was DEFINITLY needed! There was "TONS AND TONS" of gunk and fluid behind the eardrum! The Surgeon said that Noah will hear better than he has probably heard in his entire life! He said he fully expects his speech to come on really quickly. He did say there is no guarantee that nerve damage had not already happend from all that being in there untreated for so long and so bad and all so it is possible that there could still be further hearing problems with the nerve but we will have to wait to see on that much later he said. Noah has really really think ear secretions and will have to go to the ENT every 4 months for the rest of his life to keep them cleaned out good so that it does not affect hearing or cause infections but things look really good right now! :) It was not too long after he came in to talk to me that they brought Noah out SCREAMING. He kicked and flailed and screamed beyond comrpehension. Lora had prepared me (thank GOD!) that he might be angry from the gas they used and he was worse than I have ever seen. I could barely hold on to him he fought so bad. But he was also still doopy so I was not able to even lay him in the bed cuz it was not a crib. I doubt that woudl have helped anyway. He wanted me cuz when Bobby tried to help with him he freaked worse reaching for me! It was a dreadful experience to not be able to comfort my baby AT ALL and I did wonder if he had been home longer or been with me his whole life if it would have been better but there is not way to know that. He and I came home and basically I held him and finally he gave up in my arms and we slept a couple hours. He has been VERY VERY cranky and crying on and off ever since we woke back up. They told us to have a quiet day today and that we are doing! :) He and I are staying in the bedroom together with a few toys and lots of snuggles :) We have some pictures of everything before they took him to surgery but none of the surgeon coming in or when he was finally out because he was wiggin out so badly noone thought to take pictures, we were just all trying to help him. THANKS SO MUCH for all your prayers and love to Noah and I! :)


Daddy and Noah ready to go to the car EARLY this morning! :)


Mama and Noah in the waiting room at the surgery center before they called us to register. He was very quiet and clingy. I think he knew something was up.



This was what we saw on his bed when we came in the room! :) So cute :) I have the gown still by the way to put up and show him someday :)


This is the Nurse we had when we first got in there :) Asking questions and signing consents and such.


You can't see mine too good but Noah had an ankle id bracelet and I had a wrist one. We went together :) heehee


This is me putting Noah's gown on him.


All dressed! He looks like a sweet asian girl! :) Someday maybe his sister will look like this!


Here we are reading his story coloring book!

Exploring the room with Daddy


Meeting with the Anesthesiologist who "WOULD" have let me go in if it was up to him, BUT Heppa and the hospital will not allow :(


The Nurse and I fighting him to give him his I dont care medicine!

Drunk as a skunk smiling at EVERYTHING! We turned the lights off in the room to help him relax and I was trying to rock him to sleep but it did NOT work! Praise God he did good anyway!

Daddy kissing him right after we prayed over him before they came for him

And this was last night! I was sitting across the room and saw Noah from the back playing happy in his garden and then he lifted up the wipe box and I was like HUH? How did he get that. LOL and HOW is he pickin it up one handed. Well, here is how! heehee

As you see he pulled the ENTIRE box of wipes out several at a time and made a nice mess of them! He was so proud of himself! lol Oh well, its only money!

Ok, back to snugglin with my baby boy who is now throwin vienna sausage at me because he wants me off here and back with him!

WE send you blessings and Kisses in the Wind!

One Nervous Mama!

well, I sit here tonight typying to y'all as my sweet Noah lays close by sleeping! I am ONE NERVOUS MAMA! I am so worried if we are doing the right thing by having these tubes put in. I decided to do some more research on tubes and everything I could find talked about tons of ear infections which Noah has not had since home anyway. I am not sure if he did in Taiwan or not. I did read about the movement of the eardrum testing flat and that being a reason for tubes and that is why they are saying Noah needs them. I just hate taking the risk of anesthesia but I also do NOT want him to continue to hear as if underwater if that is what is really going on. They can't guarentee that this will help him to speak but they said it couldn't hurt. I mean all very good reasons to get this done ASAP! But again am still ONE NERVOUS MAMA! I KNOW that God is ABLE and I KNOW that He can take care of my baby in that operating room. I feel like I have such lack of faith and am just a worrying mama here. My friend told me she believe God would be in the operating room with Noah and Noah would see Him! :) I so pray that kind of comfort over my baby boy! I so want what is best for Noah and only that! I despretly do NOT want him to EVER think we have abandoned him or that we have allowed someone to take him or hurt him. I fear that he will think that. I pray the "pink medicine" to make him relaxed and loopy they plan to give him will help with that and he won't feel that at all. I am sure y'all are like what is the big deal woman. I am sorry I am havin such a hard time with this. The other day someone called on the phone and I was not able to take the call because I had just found out about the surgery and I was crying. That person was shocked when told I could not talk because I was crying. They could not understant why this would make me cry. I AM ONE WEIRD MAMA too apparently. Well, this mama needs to at least lay down and spend some time talking to Jesus and prayerfully I can actually sleep some. I need to lay it all at HIS FEET! I will post as soon as I can with how Panda Boy does and all! PLEASE PLEASE PRAY tomorow. We arrive at the surgery center at 6:15 am central time and surgery is around 7:15 am central barring any delay and such.

Thanks Y'all :) Here are some pics for ya :)

heehee This is TOO cute! Mr. Noah has climbed up on a box that holds dvd's and is squatting on it and watchin tv! lol When I went to take the picture he turned and grinned at me like heehee I am climbing and you didn't stop me! heehee

My baby reaching for his mama! It is so hard for ME to get a picture of Noah! usually he reaches for me when I try to or he turns just as it flashes! lol

This is a cute shot of him :) he is lookin down but that sweet tiny smile is so cute :)

Here is Noah trying to open one of Daddy's birthday cards! He was quite confused by DADDY getting cards and gifts to open! lol :) He just knew something was for him too! poor baby! He did get to play with envelopes later :) My boy LOVES PAPER!

This was suppose to be a shot of Noah handing daddy his birthday card from Noah but the camera was too slow so it is after he did it! Bobby's first Birthday with a card from a son! :)

This is Noah leaning against bobby and I! It was just so cute to me with the little finger in th emouth and all! I thought y'all would think it sweet :)

Trying to get a picture of him with Daddy but he is reaching for me again! :) Who can turn down that sweet face and those wonderful arms of love that so want to be held and cuddled! :) I am SOOO THANKFUL that the Lord gave me a cuddle baby! YES sometimes it is difficult when he wants to be held and I want or need to do something that doesn't work with him in my arms, BUT I would not have it any other way! I LOVE that little bundle of love so much! :) I KNEW I was going to adore having a baby of my own again but I had NO CLUE the pure JOY that this boy would bring to my heart! Sometimes I get scared about what it will be like when Noah is a BIG boy or a teen or an adult. So many I know with sons do not get the hugs and climbing in the lap and all that I get with Celeste even at age 20! I worry that because he is a boy he will ge to that point where he won't want to be kissed and hugged and cuddled by mom so I am going to treasure it while I can!!!!! And continue to pray that just maybe my baby boy will always want to be held by his mama!


And I thought you table boy fans would enjoy this shot!

I present to you TABLE DOG! heehee

yup, that is brownie on Noah's shelf! LOL it is quite funny. I have YET to be able to get a good shot of them both up there together. Brownie tends to FLEE when Noah joins him on the shelf! heehee It is so funny to me that both pups love the shelf as much as Noah! :)

Well, I have procrastinated long enough. I will go lay in bed now and pray and try to sleep till we have to get up to get ready for hospital. Tonight I Pray Noah does wake for me to hold him and snuggle cuz mama sure wants a snuggle, course I can't give him a bottle now that it is after midnight but sometimes snuggling with me and the blanket he will go back to sleep so IF he wakes that will be what happens!

Night all,

WE send you blessings and KISSES IN THE WIND!

5 month Gotcha Day Celebration!

Sunday February 8th marked our 5 month Gotcha Day Anniversary! :) In celebration of that we went to eat at a local Chinese Buffet Restraunt after Church! :) Noah seemed to really enjoy himself! :) he had egg foo young and eggrolls for the first time and did not like either! lol He loved the rice noodles and the lomein. that boy loves ANY kind of noodle from any culture! heehee he also enjoyed the fried rice and a little of the dumplings they had. :) Noah is exploring his motor skills through food here lately and becoming QUITE stubborn about it when I try to NOT let him do so because we are in a restraunt. I am sure the staff are NOT happy to see us coming now! We do help clean up some as well now :) heehee Here are some pics and a video of our day. I cannot believe I am actually showing you this video! heehee


Noah chowin down on Lo Mein!

Letting Daddy feed him with chopsticks! WOW!


My sweetness smiling at his mommy! :)

So cute! lol Look out everybody!

He KNOWS he is adorable! :) and YES Mommy FORGOT to bring a bib and he is eating in Church clothes! lol I did not think the restraunt would be the place to strip him to a diaper to eat! heehee


Ok, so here is the video I can't believe I am showing yall! :) heehee If nothing else I can say we have fun! In ways this video is mild in the way of fun we have sometimes though parts are above what is normal :) heehee

NO normally Bobby does NOT throw food! heehee and also I woudl normally freak out at the baby eating off the table! Sleep deprivation and the fact I cleaned it myself before we began eating are my ONLY defences! heehee

I better scoot. It is Bobby's birthday and we are taking him out tonight! I will have more pics to blog later I am sure! :) Noah and Daddy! :)

WE send you blessings and Kisses in the Wind! (I JUST LOVE saying this with the WE now! It makes me remember every time how long I had to send this baby kisses on the wind of the ocean! but NOW he is HOME for me to kiss and FEEL!)