Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

I feel like in alot of things that is what we do, we take two steps forward and then bam we are three steps backwards. But I know Noah is doin better and better and I know he is joyful and happy more and more so this is good. We have been workin on trying to just get him where he will play in our room somewhere! The ONLY room so far he has been happy without bein held is the living room. I suspect this stems from being raised for almost 17 months in one room at SLC. He literally wigs if we put him down and even sit on floor beside him to play. He shows some interest in the crib when it has toys in it but not for long. Well, we have decided to try and get him to stay in there and play for longer and longer periods. We are LITERALLY right beside the crib. He will play happy a few minutes and then cry and I will talk to him and reassure him, play peek a boo with him through the crib rails and it is beginning to work. Last night he played in there a good while and I sat in the chair RIGHT by it and read emails. Well, the next thing I knew HE WAS ASLEEP! I was like WOW! Then I cried. LOL I know you are like HUH? heehee but I did, then I felt guilty for not takin him out when he was fussin. Bobby was like but he wasnt fussin when he went to sleep, he was playin happy at that point. Then I worried if he was ready for all night. But we decided to try and go to bed. So we get in bed and I am like constantly lookin over at the crib, prayin over him, worrying. We sleep with music and a fan so then I am worried we wont hear him if he cries! NOW if you know Noah that was just silly on my part :) heehee but I am this worryin mama. So I never actually went to sleep. so a bit later he is coughin in the crib and I am worried about it but we are like wait and see what he does. It stops and he is quiet again. So then about 2 hours in the crib he wakes us SCREAMING! and so I go and pick him up. HE IS DRENCHED and smelly! He has thrown up all over himself and is NONE to pleased by it :( ugggh Poor guy, the first time he throws up and gets scared mama is across the room :( I felt so bad. I cleaned him up and he settled down in bed with us and went back to sleep. I still don't know WHY he threw up but I am so thankful he seems better. Here are pics of him at the beginning of the 2 hours on his first night to try and sleep in crib



Isn't he gorgeous???




I just love this little guy! :) So this mornin when he woke up I decided we should have a play session cuz he is so busy in our bed at 7 am! heehee so I put him in the crib with toys. He again fussed. I sat at computer and when he fusses I talk to him and he will calm a bit and play. It is a process. I just have to time takin him out after playtime when he is playin and not fussin.

We seem to be goin forward and back on eating too. I know this is all a process it just worries me I am not bein a good mom to him. But all I can do is pray and love him and do what I think is right as we go right?

It amazes me how MUCH I love this little guy! I so worried it would feel odd or I would have to learn to love the actual baby since it had been pictures I fell in love with, but nope. I loved him immediatly and each day is stronger and stronger. EVERYONE loves him! heehee We walk in a room and faces light up! :) and then his does too! He is such a people person but DONT try and take him from mama! :)

Well, I best get of here and see if we can begin the morning war, oops I mean breakfast! heehee

WE send you hugs and kisses in the wind!

Panda Bear News and The Family Four!

Hi all :)





Noah is doin so good :) I thought I would share a few pics and a bit about things here with the Family Four! :) Noah has discovered he can climb under the coffee table! :) He thinks the shelf is built JUST for him :) heehee








Now he realizes Mama saw him ! :)








Jei Jei went out of town last weekend and had her first trip to IKEA. She bought Noah a Christmas Present, then proceeded to give it to him the night she got home! heehee :) Here they are playing with this little toy that has a hammer! Noah has AMAZING social skills. He would tap on it a bit, hand her th ehammer and have her tap a bit and back and forth they went!








Noah then decides Mama needed to play too! I LOVE this shot of him headed to ME with the Hammer! :)











He came to me and then in a bit headed back to Jei Jei and fell into her and got her right between the eyes with the hammer! She is rethinking buyin baby bro a hammer! :) heehee She is fine but it did lump up on her :(








We have been spending some time trying to get Noah used to his crib. He actually has shown a bit of interest in it on his own when we walk by a few times so we will put him in when he does. here are a couple of him in it!

















It never lasts too long before he is fussin to get out but a little at a time!





I have started layin him in the crib at nap time after we rock to sleep! I laid a bottle in there with him because he will wake up a night cryin and a I give him a bottle so we thought maybe he would take the bottle if he woke up in the crib. Well, he wont. He wakes up as one mad little Panda Boy and throws said bottle at US! Here he is actually SLEEPING IN the crib!











This was yesterday. Like I said he woke up very upset. But Mama decided we had to try again today and I did. Well today he woke up screaming and started standing up. So I go to him and just about get him, he runs from me backwards in crib and THROWS himself backwards and smackes his head on the end of the crib. I scoop him up and he is still screaming and wont look at me. I am talkin to him and telling him its ok and huggin on him and all. He looks left and right and all around like he is totally disoriented but wont look at me at all. Wont respond to anything. VERY Strange :( He is totally wigged out and also won't let me put him down. It was dreadful. I just finally held him and rocked him and prayed. He went back to sleep on my shoulder for a bit and woke up again crying. After awhile he was all smiled again but I think he is angry at me for putting him in the crib.








Tonight was our last night to spend as a family and do anything before Bobby goes back to work Thursday. Tomorow night is Church so tonight was the last free one. Well, Bobby, Celeste, Noah and I all went on a picnic for Supper! We went to the Fountains downtown in a neighboring town! These were the SAME fountains that we all went to on our first date! Bobby and I and all 10 chaperones! heehee It was really really neat bein there tonight as a family. The place it kinda all began. Without that we would not have been a couple to get married and adopt Noah so it was kinda emotional for mama





Here is Noah in his stroller on the way to picnic tables! He LOVES outside! This is the FIRST time he has stayed in his stroller HAPPY! He did the entire time we were there! I was so thankful because it is close to the road and I was fearful to have him out toddlin round.


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Here is Bobby and I with Noah in stroller in the EXACT spot of our First Picture together! :) It was a group photo taken the night of the first date!











Here is Bobby and I in front of some of the actual fountains! On the night of the first date everyone was runnin through these fountains and Bobby and I just walked and talked! Bobby says it was here at the fountains where he KNEW that He was gonna marry me! We visited it several times durin our courtship.






We did not know Celeste was takin this picture! :)


This is on the EXACT spot that Bobby first asked me for a kiss and I said NO! lol and the exact spot he proposed the FIRST time and I said I can't answer you yet! heehee He did FINALLY get a kiss on this spot, but tonight Noah got all the kisses! :) He was like what are y'all doin??


Here is a picture of The Family Four on the same spot!



Poor Noah! He has to wonder what on earth these crazy people are doing! :)

It is SOOOO hard to get a good smiling picture of this boy! He smiles ALL the time, which is funny since that was one of my huge worries that he would not be able to smile or didnt connect enough to smile because the udpate pics were not smiling! Well, He is so darn curious! You pull the camera out and he notices and he is all into the camera! Anyway, He is a smiley guy and I just totally MELT every time he smiles! :) I do the same when he cries :( I HATE it. I will tell you this little guy can scream like he is bein skinned because you put him down, or he has to sit in car seat or whatever. Yesterday I was drivin with him alone and he was screamin like nuts. I kept drivin faster and faster tryin to get home quicker and get him out of seat. I was cryin myself because he was so upset and so wanted me to pick him up. I finally get where I am off the interstate and get to yard and stop and get him out of his seat real quick and he stops cryin IMMEDIATLY and there as NOT one tear in his eyes! LOL Here it sounded as if he was sobbin and sobbin! and he was SCREAMIN but not cryin. He is somethin else :) I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

Well, I am so exhuasted and I need to get off here quickly and hopefully get an hour of sleep before he wakes up. That seems to be his hardest thing in his adjustment. Sleep. He totally wants me to HOLD him and him not touch the bed. He thrashes in his sleep and he will wake alot and cry and cry :( I keep prayin he will have more peaceful sleep.

Well, hugs to all
We send y'all kisses in the wind!