2 weeks and 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We leave for Taiwan in 2 weeks and 4 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am Excited, Scared, Nervous, Overjoyed, and beside myself to say the least!  No, we have not even started packing!  I am overwhelmed with that because of the fact of $25 EACH way EACH bag. That's $50 PER BAG we take!  wow!  It can't be helped because basically we are taking a domestic flight that is NOT connected to the international, hence we have to pay.  Luggage costs are not even figured into our budget.  I am trying to figure out how to pack carryons we have , where to get a couple more carryons we can take and make sure that they all fit in the plane, if not they will MAKE us check them and that would be WORSE.  So being all stressed by this I have not done anything, well time is running out and I HAVE to deal with it.

I am still working on the Nursery and making it Frogie as well as Noah's Ark and panda!  LOL  Maybe wild kindgom is a better name! :)  So much to do in there and all over the house to be ready for Jeremiah to come home!  And remebering coming home with Noah and HOW useless I was for so long between jet lag and HIS needs I know things have to be PERFECT to go a good while with me not able to do much or anything other than care for BOYS!!!

And the fact that we are still fundraising and trying to plan fundraisers and find locations and and and  is NOT helping!  Someone said on my facebook I needed to stop and rest for trip.  UMM HELLO, without $1500 bare minimum (not counting whatever it costs to check luggage), we  have no clue how we will do this.  I mean even if we slept in airport and didnt eat, which I am thinking would not please Taiwan at all that we take him from an orphanage and sleep in an airport!  Well, it would only be for the Taipei end of things, Tainan hotel is paid for.  What we lack is Taipei hotel, train to and from, cabs, busses ,etc in country, food, Gas in our van to and from Dallas, parking or cab fare from where we park the van, whichever comes out better and works out, etc.  So basically WE HAVE to raise these funds!  There is no choice!  I KNOW GOD IS ABLE!  I know that God has shown off with Noah's adoption and He has made every step thus far happen and HE WILL show off for this final leg!  I KNOW IT!  So, then WHY am I scared?  why am I crying?  Why am I nervous?  because it hasn't happend yet, because it is so close, because everything we try seems to blow up in our face.  Across the world waits a little boy who despretly needs a family to love him, to care for him, to take him to doctors, therapists, hosptials, you name it.  Who needs to know he is loved whether he ever walks, talks, feeds himself, dresses himself or even hugs us back.  Whatever his future entails he is our son and we can't wait to get him in our arms and begin life!  I battle HUGE GUILT for letting this child down and he has not even been placed in my arms yet.  It has been 13 plus months of fundraising.  He has had to sit and wait, wait for a mommy to be able to pick him up when he cries from sadness, hunger, fear, an itch, teething, whatever.  It took us soo long to raise the agency fees and he waited.  During that time frame another family with money could have come forward and adopted him but they didnt and so we KNEW even more that God was holding him for us.  We are so close and yet so far.  MONEY has been what stood in the way the entire time!  I HATE MONEY!  And I can't figure out why it is so hard for me to raise the money for Jeremiah, I have managed to help other adopting families raise money, to raise money to take oodles of kiddos to Church camp when their own parents wouldn't sit out and help them fundraise, but here I am in need for my SON and I keep loosing money at fundraisers!  I just keep praying and basically falling on my face at the feet of Jesus!  All I can figure is it is preparation for the hardness of caring for Jeremiah that is coming.  The fighting for the best doctors, the best therapist, the equipment, and whatever he is gonna need in this life.  He may never be able to fight for himself and so it will be up to us to get better and better at providing all his needs and doing whatever it takes to do that.  So, maybe this is my training ground for that.  I just know that this hurts more than anything to be so close and yet so far.  To KNOW we have to board that plane and go and HAVE to have this money.  I must be insane, to fight and work so hard for 13 plus months to then have to FLY on planed over the ocean which PETREFIES ME no end!  I thought after last time I would NOT be scared, NOPE more scared this time and already sick at tummy about it!  As scared as I am I can't wait to see how God bridges the ocean to bring Jeremiah home! :)

Jeremiah my sweet frogie boy!  It is only 2 weeks and 4 days till be board a plane and come to get you!  I can't believe God has blessed us by allowing a judge in Taiwan to see us fit to be your parents!  You are LEGALLY our Son and we have never met you in person but oh how we have met and love you in our hearts!!!!  There are so many people that keep telling me they can't wait to see you in my arms!  OH BOY what a waited for picture that is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)  Hang on just a while longer little angel boy and while you wait, catch my kisses in the wind!!!!!!!!!!!!