Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

How can I...

How can I raise $4000 in a week or two?  How can I be prepared for Jeremiah and all his needs beyond my scope of knowledge at this moment?  How can I prepare Noah for going to Taiwan, for getting a new baby brother, for getting being a big brother to a little guy with such severe special needs?  How do I know how to give both boys all they need and be a good mom to Celeste, wife to bobby, and homemaker?  How do I keep from being discouraged, worried and flat out SCARED about the rest of the money we need NOW and what life it gonna be like?  but most importantly HOW CAN I DO ANYTHING BUT PRAISE??????

Forgive me LORD for getting wrapped up in ME, in my fears, in MY worries, in earthly concerns!  I have asked you to help us bring Jeremiah home!  I KNOW you can and here I sit and worry.  HOW can I do anything but praise?  It does not matter what my earthly eyes see.  I want my LIFE to praise you, I want my journey to Jeremiah to PRAISE YOU!  YOU are GOD, YOU ARE LORD, YOU ARE ALL I AM LIVING FOR!  all of my other questions all have an answer found in YOU!  YOU know the way it will happen that best helps the kingdom!  I have ALL glory and honor and praise to YOU LORD for every single penny that has come towards Jeremiah's adoption!  For Noah being home at all!  For me being ALIVE and functioning!  THANK YOU LORD that I am a life you have changed!  I want to praise you all my days with my entire life Lord!  I pray folks will look at me and see YOU in me!

I so needed to share my heart with all of you and to apologize for complaining and worrying and putting that on anyone during this journey.  We knew when we began this journey that it would take a HUGE MOVE of God for it to happen!  And we are so close!  I pray that our journey will be an example to others that when you step out WITH GOD in Faith and TRUST that HE will move!  YES I have had so many doubts and fears along the way, along this DAY!  BUT maybe even in my doubting and all I can be used to show others that it is ok to be human, to have doubts and fears but dont wallow in it., dont give up, dont stop praying, and by all means DON'T STOP PRAISING!


lorabelle said...

You are human and you do have many legitimate concerns... I doubt that your God is looking down on you with a frown. Your faith is an inspiration to others. I know because I am one of them... Watching your journey has definitely inspired me!
Sounds like today was a good day!
Thinking of ya!

The Family K. said...

I second Lora. Your faith during the process has been nothing short of inspriational.

Annie said...

You are an inspiration! You may express your concern or even your frustration on occasion, but I would never say that you are a complainer! I know that God sees you as a person who honors him in all you do. It is clear He comes first. And your desire and joy in adopting children that others might overlook is proof of God's love in you. I will keep praying for you to get over this last hurdle and bring your precious Jeremiah home!!

wordgardener said...

I had this great post in here for you and there was an error code and then it was gone. But I wanted to let you know that i think you are doing an amazing job of honor and effort and I think God is not going to cut you short on this...just trust and trust and then is easier said than done but you have never stopped in your effort and you have come so far. I am humbled by the amazing time and energy you have put in to bringing Jeremiah home and that energy alone will suffice to take care of him and love him. Stick through these tough days and then challenge God to shine. I just imagine He surely will. Love, Cathy Bachman

Kat said...

We are all so human :).

I love the phrase, "Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell your storm how big your God is."

Your love for God is so obvious and I canNOT wait to see how God brings your little froggie boy home!!!

Alana'smommy said...

You know I am right where you are. But even in the battles I still see God and feel Him by my side! I have been so upset about our lost paper work that I took my eyes off Him, just for a second and I just hit bottom. But He has confirmed in my spirit the last few days that it was not His perfect timing. So we both need to keep our eyes on Him and our hand holding tightly onto His. He will be our strength and our comfort. He will lead us the path He needs us to take.I pray peace for you and joy unspeakable. Just know I am always praying for you every time my knees hit the floor!

cherished blessings said...

Tammy, You have been a trooper through your journey. Despite all your "human" questions you keep pressing on and trusting the Lord. we all have these questions and concerns,but in the end it boils down to the final choice we make.May God bless you for continuing to trust Him choosing Jeremiah.

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!