Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Friday, February 4, 2011


So we got SNOW!  Now, not sur eit is real snow, and some have said it was more ice or whatever but it LOOKED pretty and it was enough to play in!  We could not figure out actual snowballs or snowmen even though we tried several times throughout the day :)  lol It was too powdery the first time and too hard by the last time we went out.  Just did not work for us.  It never went above freezing so we MAY see it tomorow.  not sure yet.  Anyway here are some pics of our fun in the snow.  Not near enough pics cuz everyone wanted to play more than be the photographer :) lol

Jeremiah did go out but I did not leave him out for long.  I was worried about him being too cold, but then when I took him right inside the door so he could hear us and then sit with Nanny while we kept playin I felt soo guilty.  SOO hard to balance making sure he experiences ALL of life and protecting him at the same time.  IF I end up having Celeste home tomorow again to help (daddy has to go to work no matter what the roads do :( ) anyway I will try to take him out a little longer tomorow.  I did not let him touch the snow, though it was snowing so it touched him as it came down.  HE loves it outside and so was quite content.  Just renewed my desire for a big ole front porch and ramp :) 

Jei Jei loved it just as much as Panda Boy :) She tried to make a snow angel and the first try the snow was so hard that nothing happend at all, then they jumped up and down on it to loosen it all back up, then she did it and it sorta worked except you could see the mud below as the outline.  LOL

Mama and Daddy had a bit of fun too! Celeste had fun with her camera taking these then I had fun making the collage.  LOVE to do that kinda thing. 

My happy frogie boy this evening :)

this was Noah's VERY FIRST GLIMPSE of the snow this morning!

Here he is looking out at it and chompin at the bit to go outside :)

this was our attempt to make a snowman, was so difficult Celeste gave up and made a snow seal! LOL

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Need to talk

I am bawling as I type.  Today MY dog Bella left this earth.  I am not handling it well.  Been a very emotional day.  Trying to be as normal as possible with Noah and all so we are watching Little House on the Prairie and it is the episode where there baby son dies.  NOT a good show for me to see.  My heart is breaking watching the grief and for some scary reason all I can think of is how would I survive if it was Jeremiah and then I remember that according to the Neuro it is going to be Jeremiah. :(  I soo want to hold on to faith and to beleive that He is going to outlive any expectations they have for him and for that matter us.  A parent is suppose to go before the children.  and I know GOD is bigger than prognosis, but for some reason today it is REALLY getting to me and this FEAR is creeping in big time and sadness.  Great sadness. and then fear of not being strong enough to survive loosing him and what will happen to the rest of the family and just crazy thoughts.  I dont want to go crazy, I dont want to loose my baby and I want to believe the Neuro is beyond wrong and there is nothing to say that he is right at this point.  Jeremiah is doing well, did much better with the mycoplasma pneumonia than they ever thought he would.   He has made it through things nobody would believe he would make it through.  SO WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS :(  UGGGH anyway just needed to get this out.  Some days it is so hard living with a death sentence for your baby hanging over your head.  BUT I HAVE TO SPEAK LIFE!  LIFE LIFE LIFE!

For those who don't remember.  Here is a picture of my Bella:

And here is a shot of my sweet boys!  Noah was using his play cell phone and trying to take a picture of him and Jeremiah! lol
THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!