Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own. Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Need to talk
I am bawling as I type. Today MY dog Bella left this earth. I am not handling it well. Been a very emotional day. Trying to be as normal as possible with Noah and all so we are watching Little House on the Prairie and it is the episode where there baby son dies. NOT a good show for me to see. My heart is breaking watching the grief and for some scary reason all I can think of is how would I survive if it was Jeremiah and then I remember that according to the Neuro it is going to be Jeremiah. :( I soo want to hold on to faith and to beleive that He is going to outlive any expectations they have for him and for that matter us. A parent is suppose to go before the children. and I know GOD is bigger than prognosis, but for some reason today it is REALLY getting to me and this FEAR is creeping in big time and sadness. Great sadness. and then fear of not being strong enough to survive loosing him and what will happen to the rest of the family and just crazy thoughts. I dont want to go crazy, I dont want to loose my baby and I want to believe the Neuro is beyond wrong and there is nothing to say that he is right at this point. Jeremiah is doing well, did much better with the mycoplasma pneumonia than they ever thought he would. He has made it through things nobody would believe he would make it through. SO WHY AM I FEELING LIKE THIS :( UGGGH anyway just needed to get this out. Some days it is so hard living with a death sentence for your baby hanging over your head. BUT I HAVE TO SPEAK LIFE! LIFE LIFE LIFE!
For those who don't remember. Here is a picture of my Bella:
And here is a shot of my sweet boys! Noah was using his play cell phone and trying to take a picture of him and Jeremiah! lol
THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!!November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms! AND NOW THE WAIT FOR JEREMIAH IS OVER TOO!!!April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!
The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old
The First Picture we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year
Kisses in the Wind
KISSES IN THE WIND I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams. You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems. I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long. But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong. Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind. May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you. I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do. Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind. May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight. And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.