Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Friday, November 14, 2008

You know you are a mama when...

Thursday I took Noah to the Pediatrician's office and then she sent us to the hospital to have some bloodwork drawn. As I am holding my son down for them to draw blood and do a flu nostril test and such I am crying as much if not more than Noah is and I thought to myself. I KNOW I am his mama for sure! Sometimes I don't feel like his mama, I feel unable to comfort him at times, or that I don't know exactly what it is he wants and wonder if the Nannies at SLC would understand more of what he is wantin and needin and feelin. But let me tell you what as I held that sweet angel in my arms and had to hold him still for them to stick him and him screamin and thrashin and tryin everything he could to get away and to turn and crawl up to my shoulder and as those tears streamed down my face and I had to try so hard not to shake and make him move, I FELT LIKE HIS MOM. Others around watched him in pain and fear and were like aww poor guy, its ok sweetie but I WAS feelin the pain with my baby. I was too busy tryin to be the strong mama to think of pictures of that first but here are some other panda boy shots for yall... and by the way I have not forgotten I still owe y'all a belated first birthday party video. It is still belated in comin for your viewin pleasure! I pray to have some time in the next few days to finish it up. anyways here are some pictures from the last week or so....

This was the mornin after the belated bday party. Noah's uncle Ronnie and Aunt Beth could not come to the party but brought him some balloons by he next day. He is quite injoyin them! :)

ROFL He got so tangled in them dancin with them! It was adorable! :)

Here he is lookin up at them! :) You can see his 3 and half top teeth really good here! :)

These next few are from our Marriage Conference trip last weekend! Noah is starting out early to be a good hubby someday!!! :) heehee First marriage conference at 18 months!
Here is Panda Boy EARLY last friday morning and NOT happy about bein woken up so early! I thought I could get him to play while Daddy was loadin the car but NOPE he was not a happy guy.
Here is Daddy pickin up Noah and lovin on him right before loadin him in the car. They are both in jammas cuz Bobby had worked all night long and was gonna sleep in car while I drove to Houma. My tired boys!

Here we are awhile later on the road waking up only long enough to take a bottle! :) He looks so cute with all his blankets and toys and such in the back seat! :) He did pretty good travelin for the first while. He slept for about 3 hours, including sleeping through a diaper change! now that's tired heehee. Then he woke, took the bottle, fell back asleep a while. He CRIED for the last 2 hours :( it was dreadful! we stopped several times so I could take him out of his seat and hold him and walk around with him and such but as soon as we were back on the road he was screamin again :( Very hard on everyone but praise God we got their safe and sound!
Here is Noah at the conference doin any cute thing he can to keep ME from paying attention to the conference and not him! heehee
Here is Noah along with Sara Jane and her daddy Mr. Joey(in background) in the cry room they had at the Church we were at. It was a very nice cry room with chairs and toys and a huge window to see out into sancutary and a speakers so you could still hear what was goin on inside! :) Noah loves his overalls :) He looked so adorable! :)
Here is Noah sleepin in the port a crib at the hotel! I joked I was takin it home along with our luxirous thick thick soft bed they hotel had! This was the ONLY night EVER Noah has slept through the night without wakin up for a bottle or anything. He fell asleep in the car on way back from the conference at about 10. Slept through me changin him into jammas and such and woke and fussed just a bit. Went back to sleep by 10:30. I woke him up at 6:30 am to dress him for breakfast! I was shocked. THAT is why I almost took that porta crib home with us :) heehee Our bed was a very very nice comfortable king size bed! The hotel was wonderful and we had gotten a very good rate for the rooms. If you are ever in Houma, LA I recommend the Holiday Inn!! :)
Last night my dear daughter Celeste treated me to a movie :) Soooo, that meant Noah went to his first movie ever! :) Here he standing at the glass door bangin on it :) and he is so excited to go out the door!!! :)
The movie that she took me to was The secret Life of Bees! I enjoy Queen Latifa in Last Holiday so I was looking very forward to it. The movie was very good though not a light movie but a very good one. Though there were some very funny scenes and we came out with a new quote that Celeste is using ALOT. If you haven't seen the movie and don't want to know the quote I will scroll down a bit before I say it... you scroll passed it to another picture...
ok, so the quote is..."Take that boy's brain and put it in a bird and the bird would fly backwards!" LOL now to us it struck us so funny! heehee maybe you had to be there I dunno!
Today we had to take my mother on some errands and she took us to lunch. While mama and I were up getting the food Celeste took this picture :)
Is he not the cutest thing! :) heehee
Well, while mama was doin a few Christmas errands that Celeste and I had to give her privacy for we managed to amuse ourselves in the Christmas section and found us some interesting hats! heehee so what do you think?????
lol :) Noah thought we were quite nuts! So we just had to add him to the fun!!!!
As you can see he is not thinkin it so much fun and lookin up like what on earth are yall doin and what is this on my head????
Well, tonight we went to visitation and viewin of my dear friend Amber. It was so strange to see her and to really make it real and very hard and emotional. In a room opposite the room Amber was in they had a laptop set up that was playing a video of Amber singing Amazing Grace! THAT was tough to go in and lisent to and watch but I had to hear her sing one more time! Just beautiful! Talk about bawling! I keep hearin over and over in my head tonight some words Amber was singing " My chains are gone...I've been set free" Praise Jesus this is so true for her and for all of us thanks to our wonderful Lord and Savior! :) It really struck home to me as I prepare to speak at our Church's Ladies Meeting next week. I am to share my testimony of sorts of all God has brought me through. YES my chains are gone!!!! Even in her death my dear friend Amber is still sharing her heart with me and reminding me WHERE to look!
Please be in prayer for the family and friends tomorow afternoon (saturday) as we have Amber's funeral service. I do not have a copy of Amber singin the Song Amazing Grace (My chains are gone) but I did find a live performance of it by Chris Tomlin and friends. I pray this works and you wil be able to hear it and as you do if you can think of my friend Amber and her family and friends.

We send you blessings and Kisses in the wind!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Amber~ A TRUE Friend

I come again tonight to post through tears. Today my dear friend Amber left this earth to go home to be with Our Lord. I am SHOCKED and SADDENED beyond belief. I do not know all the details just yet but so far have been told she had a massive heart attack. To our knowledge she did not have heart problems so this was such a shock. Amber was a TRUE friend!! The name Amber means precious jewel and that was what Amber was to me! I have some very dear sweet memories of Amber. Amber was the kind of friend that you did necessarily get to see all the time but would make time to come when you call!!! Even when things might have been hard for her she was still there for me! Amber blessed my soul to the core when you came to our benefit concert for Noah and sang for me at my request! And sing she did! Like an angel and several songs. I will NEVER forget that day! Amber knew how I loved to hear her sing and play the piano which she also did :) And Oh my could this woman make a yummy cake! She had already offered to make Noah's 2nd birthday cake. Amber taught Celeste to play piano! I had plans to have her teach my sweet Noah! She was a talented and generous person and a dear dear TRUE friend! :)

Please be in prayer for all of Amber's children and the rest of her family and friends as the shock begins to wear off and the pain of loss increases. Most especially please pray for her sweet baby Erin! Amber took Erin from birth and I was told a couple weeks before that the Court date to finalize the adoption was November 3rd. This sweet baby has no clue where her mama is tonight and there is no way anyone can explain that to her. :(

I last saw Amber at my baby shower for Noah and I am ever so thankful she took time in her busy life to come to bless me and Noah. Here are some pictures of MY FRIEND AMBER taken that night.

Amber with her sweet baby girl Erin!

Amber (holding Erin) meets MY NOAH for the first time!

visiting at the shower with our friend Susan.

Thank you for reading this mini tribute to my dear friend. I can't express the shock and sadness I am feeling nor what Amber meant to me or how I feel about this. I can be so thankful I saw her not too long ago and that I KNOW where she is and that is some comfort. Sadness enfolds me this night. I am so blessed by the joy of my NOAH! He is so sweet when he sees me sad and is such a love bug. I am blessed!

Tonight We send our Kisses in the wind to Amber.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Tonight I type this through so many tears I can't see. Good thing I type by touch. My beloved Peanut, the best dog on the plante, died today :( I can't believe that I won't ever hold that sweet pup again, or feel his lick or snuggle next me, or him scratchin at the bed for me to put him up. Extreme sadness overwhelms Celeste and I today. Peanut is our family. He has been with Celeste and I through SO many rough times, and he wormed his little way into Bobby's heart when we began courting. Noah was in love with peanut! He would hear his little neck bell jingle and grin and shake with excitement because he knew peanut was coming. Peanut was 11 years old! We got him Thanksgiving Day 1997. I called him my son. This dog would let me rock him like a baby! :) He loved me when noone else did! He was so attached to Celeste and I. PLEASE pray for Celeste. She is totally devestated as am I but she also is the one that found peanut :( We are waiting for Bobby to get off from his 2nd job to come home and bury peanut. I know that not everyone will understand but I am just so so sad and I can't stop crying. It makes me even sadder to think Noah will never remember peanut! He will never know that love that peanut gave us. I just can't believe this really happend. I guess we somehow thougth he would always be with us even though it is impossible. Please pray for me as well because I feel such guilt that I haven't spent the time with peanut I use to lately, that I was the one that had Celeste put him outside earlier because I am tryin to retrain him and just maybe had I let him in when he was barkin instead of leavin him out until after supper then just maybe he would not have died :( It began rainin and got a bit colder during finishing cooking and eating. He was wet and cold :( I feel dreadful but am being told it was his time and he would have died anyway and that dogs go off to die. He was under the steps which was uncommon for him. We had to search for him with a flashlight when he did not come when we called. Celeste was felling guilty cuz she was the one who let him out and felt she should have let him in sooner. This guilt does not help our grief :( What I wouldn't give to have him back for one more day, one more hour. How can my heart be so attached to my dear sweet peanut. There will never be another dog like peanut! He was a toy dauschund. I have never seen another one like him and if I ever do I will HAVE to have it! Here are a few pictures of my peanut! He gave so much to us, to ME, more than he ever ever received. I LOVE YOU PEANUT, You will be GREATLY MISSED!

Peanut Sisemore

Peanut Again

One more picture of Peanut

Monday, November 10, 2008


Hi all,

I know I owe y'all a video of belated first birthday pics and some other things as well and I will do those belated. I guess its ok since it was a belated birthday party! Anyway, today a terrifying thing happened!!!! Bobby and I were in the store shopping with Noah and he was ready for a snack so I was feeding him in the bubby. He has taken to lovin those little peanut butter crackers and has been doin so well taking a bite off it and eating it without me having to break it up. So here we are going along and it appears he is swallowing and eating just fine one second and the next second he is CHOKING!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN FOR REAL CHOKING! :( My heart fell out of my chest :( WHY is it that no matter what kinda of training I have had in the past for nursing and other things that when it is MY CHILD EVERYTHING FLEW OUT THE WINDOW?? I DID NOTHING RIGHT :( I jerked him up and was screamin at bobby he is choking and I was scooping out his mouth and hitting his back. BY THE GRACE OF GOD it worked! Up came the food he was choking on and he was SCREAMING at the top of his lungs!!!! I have NEVER been so glad to hear anything in my entire life!!!! I was so upset. The next time someone says to me I am babying Noah by giving him baby snacks I am gonna smack them! Not really but THIS is a good example of why!!!! YES he is 18 months old by he only had 8 teeth, none of them molars even. Anyway I called the doctor to make sure if I should take him to ER or not but she handled it herself. He is fine! Mama is gonna be ALOT more picky on what I give him from now on! The thing about it is it really wasn't that much in his mouth that he was chokin on so that makes it extra scary! The Early Steps people have evaluated his eating before and they said that he is delayed in oral skills in his eating and they have to come before talking. They are suppose to work with him on that! They come tomorow to set up our IFSP. Basically the plan for therapy for the next little while. I am SOOO angry at myself that I freaked instead of going into action with the correct procedures but PRAISE God He protected my baby!

I will be workin on the video and such. Here are a couple of pics to tide you over! These are from the Belated Birthday day!!! :)
This was T-Totally Hilarious!!! :) I have no clue why he decided to feed me some of his cake but he did! I was CRACKIN UP!!! :) It is a miracle I didn't choke! Laughin and eatin don't go together :) heehee This unfortunately was not on the video :) but the picture is adorable! :)
That face again! He is gorgemous!!!! :) HE LOVED havin a belated Happy First birthday Noah party! :) heehee
WE send you blessings and Kisses in the wind!!!
THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!