Sometimes your heart cries out in praise and worship to God but you need someone on either side to hold each arm up physically in praise to God.
what I didnt say that I felt through tears today was I feel like I do not have 2 friends to stand on either side and hold up each arm as I cry out to God in praise and worship and prayer.
I feel guilty for feeling this way and I wonder what is wrong with me that I don't have close friends in my day to day life like I once did. I feel like some of those friendships were not healthy, not reciprical, but rather than being able to have them healthy and reciprical they are gone completly.
Wednesday night we visited one of the churches and the pastor said something along these lines...
"what do you do when you have been fully obedient and fully faithful to what God was calling you to do and you find yourself in a desserted place".
That spoke volumes to me and at least one other person in my family.
Alot of where we r today, alot of pain I feel at this moment that is causing these tears to flow have been caused because of being penalized for doing what we thought was right. For fighting for what is best for one of our 3 kids. and what would be what God would have us to do. Little did we know that we might loose everyone in our lives because of decisions. And now I find myself feeling like we have made a decision that some do not agree with even that have nothing to do with our daily lives.
I think I best stop writing now because i dont think I am making alot of sence, my crying is getting worse and hard to type and I am not sure how much blog readership I have anymore anyway.
we went to fire station open house today and got some adorable pictures. I tried yet again to upload pics and for some reason got it to let me put one in, bu tno more. weird. if you are on my facebook there will be more up there as soon as I can get them up, facebook takes forever now to upload pics :( anyway I am tamijoy sisemore there.
If you read all this...thank you... and if you think about it please pray for me and also for our unspoken request