I titled this if anyone still cares because well for one, even when I post I don't seem to get as many comments as I use to get, and two because I have been kinda away awhile and so not sure anyone is even coming to check the blog or not nowadays. I never posted about our thanksgiving or anything. I can't say completely why I have not been posting. There was a time I thought of getting her first to share my feelings and our lives, here lately, for some reason I guess I feel like if I dont post I dont have to feel it all maybe? not sure. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, my children, and our life is overall wonderful but I have been kinda down and I am sure alot of that is exhaustion and alot of it is "THE PROGNOSIS"! I TRY very hard most of the time NOT to think about that my son supposedly has a prognosis of none for survivial. But there are days I dont do a good job of it. I dont want to live every day as if he is dying, but at the same time I dont want to waste anything either. I want to go on trips and take him to experience everything I can while he is here to do it, but then finances block that and I think that causes some of the down. Also, the fact that at times my sweet angel boy does NOT respond, he can't call me momma, sometimes he doesn't snuggle in or even act like he knows I am here, and it bothers me WAY more emotionally than I thought it would and then I feel guilty! If Jeremiah never smiled, never responded, never anything he still deserves love and a family and interaction and for me to do every single thing I can for him. I guess in a way I fear if I share too much on here that people will think I dont love my sons or my life and that is so far from the truth. I love them so much it hurts! and I so ache for the things that Jeremiah misses out on and for things that are hard for Noah. When they hurt I hurt. I battle doctors, insurance, etc to get them the very best and I get so upset. I battle people in my life who want to know where there REAL mother is. What more do I have to do to be there REAL mother, so they did not grow IN my body for 9 months, but they grew IN MY HEART, my MIND, my SOUL for 10 and half months for Noah and 14 and half months for Jeremiah! I worked my but off to do what I had to do and made myself get on planes that made me physically sick and petrefied beyond imagination for MANY hours! all of htat was before they were home but I am not real. how odd :( Plus I am the one up with them for days on end and holding them, feeding them, staying 24/7 in icu with them. Ok, Ill hush, had no intention to get on here and say 90 percent of what I have. Guess I am upset about some things I did not realize it. Anyway now on to pics that if your here reading you probably want to see that more than listen to me blab anyway. If you are here and IF you read all this , thank you ...
Jeremiah on his space blanket havin some tummy time! He is getting stronger :) Look at him holdin himself up!
Thanksgiving evening Watching the Saints play the cowboys! A house divided. Daddy loves Cowboys and Celeste Saints and mommy tries to be switzerland! LOL Bobby likes the saints too UNLESS they play dallas. Well Thankgiving they played each othere. one boy for each team :)
Noah helping me make cocoa pecan pie! He had a BLAST! and we both were covered in flour.
He ADORED the parade and was soo excited that it was coming on. Just the preview had him jumpin up and down with excitement
I actually HATE this picture cuz I am SOO BIG, BUT because I keep praying to someday afford to turn the blog into a book and my family loves the picture and I had no clue they even took it I put it in. We were heading to the table after I was done cooking and all and I was carrying Jeremiah and became overwhelmed that he was with us, HE WAS HOME, and HE WAS still alive for his FIRST thankgiving! In June, it didnt look like he would make it home from PICU at all or every experience life in a family much less holidays. So as we are in the Thankgiving and now Christmas Season I am VERY emotional and THANKFUL that he is here! I am not promised anything when it comes to Jeremiah. IF you are reading this and you are a mommy, do me a favor...STOP and go hug your kids and give thanks to God they are here, because we are really none of us promised tomorow.
Adore this shot! LOVE that daddy is home!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING JEREMIAH!
he was not in a smiely mood! don't you LOVE the hat?? :)
This is Jeremiah sitting in front of the tv listening to the parade! He seemed to enjoy all the sounds of it! :)
Tasting his FIRST turkey, dressing and gravy, blended in the blender. I SOO need a food processor. The blender was hard to make it work. He is eating little bites each day, so I was determined his bites that day would be turkey and dressing :)
IF you are here and your read and you still care, THANK YOU! I send you kisses in the wind!