Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Shackles

Well, we are 2 weeks and a day away for getting on a plane and beginning the actual physical journey to Jeremiah.  If you had asked me 13 plus months ago if I thought we would be here right now I would NEVER have dreamed it would have taken so long, AND would NEVER in my worst dreams have believed we would be 2 weeks away and $1500 short!  and worse that I would not have ended up in the nut house over that fact!  It has really begun to hit me that no matter what Jeremiah is coming home!  FINALLY.  We are at this point.  It has been a very very stressful time and the past month or so has been beyond stressful with failed fundraiser and failed fundraiser and everthing breaking at once.  We FINALLY have a location for our Rummage Sale that is this Saturday May 22nd!  It was soo incredibly God!!!  It is like God the Father brought His hand down out of heaven and HAND picked a location on the BUSIEST street in our main city! What happened was after closed doors from our own Church and many other closed doors and things coming at my I called my dear friend Shonette on her cell phone CRYING!  Now Shonette is home just a few weeks with her beautiful AnnaKae from Ukraine and was in the place not too long ago trying to find a place for her benefit concert so I knew if anyone would understand all I was feeling it would be her.  So I called her and am sharing that our Church said no and this that and the other and she just so happens to be sitting in her van while her husband is taking care of some business in a bank that they are not normally do business with.  As she is sitting there and trying to talk me out of tree LOL  she looks up and sees Trinity Presbyterian Church across from her.  Now neither she nor I are Presbyterian nor do I know a thing about the denomination and had never heard of the Church so I am like HUH?  lol  So she says she is looking at the Church, it is close to a gas station in case we needed restroom and it is a big parking lot, so she is like Call them!  So, I get off and ask Bobby to look up the number and he finds it and calls them and leaves a message.  So a few hours later they called back and spoke with me and the gentleman said it just so happens that the Church board was going to be having a meeting that night and he would discuss it with them and let me know something last night or today.  Now we have had SOOO many no's for the rummage sale and bunco fundraiser that I was somewhat worried if the board had to meet about it, that it might not be good answer.  So anyway, last night about 7:30 or so he calls me back and nonchalantly says the board decided to let you use the parking lot for your rummage sale!  It took every ounce of restraint I had not to start hoopin and hollerin in his ear!  I thank him over and over :)  So, Ladies and Gentlemen we have a location!  Now, we are praying for helpers and vehicles to move all the stuff we have from here to there starting at 5:45 am when bobby gets home and being ready for business so to speak by 7am.  and its this saturday so not much time to pull this off but I HAVE to try and I HAVE to believe God will bless it! :)  This was such a great bit of news :)  I also got a letter in the mail letting us know Jeremiah's applicaion to Shriner's Children's Hospital has been accepted! :) AND they have an appointment for him Monday June 14th!!!  That is the monday after we get home on friday evening!  Such great news!!! :)

So you may wonder about the title of my post being Shackles!  It has been so very evident to me as of late how many more shackles of bondage I lived in for so many years have been broken off me Thank you LORD!  I think almost daily I have some more fall off!  It has been a HARD HARD HARD time lately and I have been questioning so many things in my life but when I think about all God has done for me and what He brought  me out of from childhood and everything since I stand amazed!  And then on top of that , that the Father of the Universe would CHOOSE me to be Noah and now Jeremiah's mother is about more than I can stand!  I think back to the shackles that bound me and I just am forever grateful to the Lord!  Tonight we had an evangelist at Church and he spoke about how the devil could NOT be where the worship of the Lord is! devil can't stand it.  I have been thinking about that every since and how for me WORSHIP is HOW I FEEL GOD!  Everybody is different, some feel God in a service that is predictible and specific prayers and responsive readings, some feel God by sitting under an amazing preacher, some feel God closest when they are in prayer closet just praying or interceeding.  All of those things are great things and God is so in them all, but for ME personally MUSIC alone moves me to my very soul no matter what kind.  I think for ME music if freeing so when you add GOD to MUSIC and then me being able to fall on face in the presence of the one true Gud and worship Him because of who HE IS well I am so there!  I can be having the hardest day, feeling like nobody on the planet cares if I am dead or alive and hop on youtube and search for worship songs and sing my heart out to the Lord and I am no longer alone.  HE IS RIGHT THERE!  HE broke the chains off me and gave me life, and live more abudantly!  :)  When I think of all my life was before I am so sad.  I have allowed my eyes to fall away from the LORD lately and rest on my circumstances and my flat out FEAR of how this is all gonna happen.  It is gonna happen because GOD is GOD!  HE has got this!  He is Jehovah Jirah!  MY PROVIDER!  I HAVE to get this $1500 and GOD knows who has the funds to send our way.  I WILL TRUST HIM!  I am in awe of all that God has done so far in this adoption and in Noah's and in my life  even to be at the point that I have a husband and am adoptiong children! :)  I dont feel like I am explaining anything corectly here but I just felt like I needed to share all of this and I have put a few song on here too that are close to my heart right now and I hope you will take a few minutes to share them with me!  Please pray for me as I seek to stay in a state of worship!  and to remember to be on my knees and if necessary on my face before the LORD and to release my fear of what my eyes see!








4 comments:

Talley Images said...

Did I mention that I am jealous of you traveling... we also started about 13 months ago and still have at least 3-4 months (and this was supposed to be one of the shorter programs?)... but I am also so happy for you too!

And what great evidence that "rejection is God's protection" - its hard to see how your church saying no would be a good thing at the time that it was happening, but now, now, God has given you such a bigger and better location... I have a feeling that He is going to bless your socks off this Saturday

momwithfaithandhope said...

PTL that you found a location. Praying for lots of traffic and lots of helpers!!!! Countdown has begun!!

Room for More said...

ooooh, I am so excited for you as the days count down!

Mel said...

thanks for sharing your heart once again. praying for ya and a super sale this weekend.
and WOW - you're getting so so so close on having bigJ home.
sending hugs,
mel

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
AND NOW THE WAIT FOR JEREMIAH IS OVER TOO!!!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year


Kisses in the Wind

KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.


May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.


When Love Takes You In!