Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Panda Boy is FOUR!

Well, I sit here now the mama of a FOUR YEAR OLD BOY!  WOW!  Where does the time go.  It seems ions since the day I first laid eyes on that amazing baby boy waiting in Taiwan for me! Little did I know then just how that sweet one would wrap himself around, inside, on top off, on bottom off and clean out through my heart!  Little did I know then it would take 10 and half months and I would watch some come after us for referral and come HOME while we waited.  Little did I know what life being a mama to a boy was gonna be like!  But oh how I love that boy!  I feel like a complete and utter failure at being his mom, the one he deserves, but I am doing all I can to be better and better!  It is funny because I worried before we even found Noah, back when we were still talkin about adoption and even when we thought we would have a birth baby before adopting, I worried HOW will I ever love another child as much as I love my baby girl Celeste!  I worried so hard.  And then I fell in love with a sweet Panda Boy waiting a world away for me in Taiwan.  How you may ask do you fall in love with a baby you have never touched, met, held, smelled, carried, rocked, bathed, etc.  Well, all I can tell you is YOU DO!  I will NEVER forget the day that I sat on the green couch and watched the screen door open and THERE HE WAS!  LIVE and in person!  I started beating on Bobby...THERE HE IS, ITS HIM BOBBBY!  and balling all the while!  I can't express the feelings that came over me in that moment and when he was placed in my arms the relief and the utter JOY of finally my SON is home in my arms where he belongs! He was my sweet baby boy who so needed me and clung to me.  Fast forward over 2 and half years later and we have a 4 year old boy!  Stil my baby boy, but 4 now!  And yes he still needs and clings to me but he is also starting to be semi ok with mama not right around.  He LOVES to go and that works well when we NEED him to go away from me.  For those who were around when Panda Boy came home you may remember he could not talk at all.  I remember through translation one of the nannies said she so hoped he was waiting till America to talk because he only wanted to learn one language.  :)  Well, she was right because he did finally start talking :)  I remember crying LORD please let him at least talk well enough for me to hear him say mama and then praying Lord if not then at please help me be ok with not hearing it.  Well, eventually he started babbling and I almost wrecked the car when he did! LOL  and now there are days I think what was I thinking!  LOL  not really but I have had days where I have to remind myself what a blessing it is he can talk constantly :)  And that he does.  He tries to say everything and at times it comes out rather funny :)  Some things we call Noahese!  LOL  but we pretty much all know what he is talking about.  Daily words are cleared than the day before. He loves books and to be read to and to look at them himself.  He is like me in that he adores music and really seems to feel it like I do.  He loves anything with wheels on it!  He is so very boy in the things he gravitates to overall but luckily for this mama so far nothing icky!  YET I fear!  He is very into stuffed animals now and has a minagerie he takes with him all over the house.  It started out with Buddy (his build a bear panda) and Elmo, wel then it grew to be Buddy, Elmo, George (a gorilla that was Celeste's ) and barney (the purple dinosaur that sings) and it has grown and grown.  When we get ready to go to bed he wants to take them all and we are like NOPE Buddy, Elmo George,barney and thats it. He will say it al like one word when he is fussy and wants them! LOL  It is so sweet.  He loves Barney on TV and still an Elmo fan and Big B!  lol what he calls big bird.  He loves The Wiggles and Donut Man!  It is my mission to get him all the Donut Man on DVD.  They have a 6 dvd set on ebay I really want and that would be 12 total episodes.  and then a few more in addition to that.  And also want to find more wiggles too.  He loves veggie talkes songs but is not too into the dvd's yet but will watch them a little.  He is realy where he will WATCH some tv which is cute and worrysome.  lol  He loves 19 kids and counting and will ask to watch "the duggars" :)  I have them on dvr and so he and I watch them alot.  He also loves The Waltons and Little House on the Prairie :)  all the old standbys :)  and he loves make room for Charlie on Disney.  we found that when living at the hospital with Jeremiah :)  and funny thing he will sit and wach Paula Dean cook! :)  lol  He can count to 10 and sometimes to 15.  He can match just about anything.  LOVES to match.  He lines up cars and trucks all over the house.  He can match colors and shapes but not too good at naming the shapes at all and only some colors.  Its funny how priorities change with your kids.  With Celeste I was hyper concerned about her counting, recognizing numbers, colors, shapes, ect at 18 months!  LOL  With Noah we have been more worried about learning to walk, talk, eat, not choke, sensory things etc.  so now I am really stepping up the focus on more preschool skills.  I mean we have always done stuff with him and talked about all those things but when you are just trying to help them learn to talk well enough to get their needs met the other stuff is just not as big a worry.  When he is 30 it wont matter if he knew his colors at 18 months or at 4.  I have bought the first of our official curriculum for the fall and am quite excited about that.  I want to be much less stressful in my schooling than I was with Celeste.  I have lived and learned.  Plus with Noah's personality there are some things that will just need to be done differently.  That is one beauty of homeschooling.  We will be able to take his interests into consideration as he grows.  Noah is getting speech therapy through the schools at our home 2 days a week, he has a special instructor that comes one day a week and adaptive PE one day a week.  He also has OT at the hospital one day a week and is being evaluated to possibly start speech and PT at the hospital soon.  I am seeing this year, the year of being 4 , as such a vital year for Noah.  He already is very curious and LOVES to learn and we want to do all we can this year to really build on that and help him overcome the hurdles he has had in his little life.  Noah is now 36 lbs and 38 inches tall!  I never would have thought!  He came home from Taiwan and could wear 12 months clothes.  Now he is moving into 3T and some 4T!  When we got him a toddler size 4 was too big, now he is in a toddler 8!  Noah is still my big helper boy!  HE LOVES to clean and to help.  He will knock himself out tryiin to get to you and help with things!  Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is not. LOL  but he is really getting to where he is a true big help.  He can put all the silverwear in the drawer in the right slots in the tray.  He can also hand me things out of the dishwasher for me to put up in the cabinet.  And I can hand him clothes out of the washer and he wil put them in the dryer for me :) He is the cutest thing when he grabs the small broom and dustpan that stands and sweeps my kitchen!  Can't wait for him to sweet well enough for it to totaly count! LOL He ill pick up clothes and towels and such and run them to the hamper.  It is so cute and he really seems to like it.  PRAYING it continues in a healthy way anyway.  He remains a junk food junkie and really only wants junk so we have a huge battle there :(  He does love cheese so that helps but of course with already having bowel issues its not hte best choice All the time.  I look at him and I wonder where did my baby I picked up at SLC go?  He is becoming more and more a little boy and I am excited to see him at this stage but I do so miss him at times, the baby him.  He is an awesome big brother but he does get jealous of Jeremiah and me , for that matter he gets jealous of bobby and Me and Celeste and me.  At times I feel guilty like I am not able to give him all of me he wants and I definitly feel like I fail him in so many ways.  I just keep striving to do better.  He is my sweet Panda boy and I look at him I am reminded of how BIG my God is!  I still at times can't believe that God really blessed me with this increadible little boy!  That Taiwan actually said YES YOU can have this baby!  that God helped us raise all the funds, and got me there on those planes.  Sometimes it seems like a dream that is too good to be true and that someone will show up and say never mind we changed our minds.  We do still battle sensory and his temper issues but all are improving greatly.  I look on him and I can't wait to see the man of God he is going to become! :)  Wel, I have babbled on and on here and what you all probably really want is bday party pics :)  So I will put some here :)

Panda Boy and Aunt Pam on the Choo Choo at his party

Everyone so loved the choo cho.  NOah had a total blast!  I am THRILLED I thought of this and FOUND one :) and it is a double barrel so much safer and sturdier :)  LOVE IT :)

Aunt Pam's land was a perfect place for this party :) 

can you see the big smile?

Jeremiah got to ride too :)  With my friend Erin :)

He was so cute :)  He would hollar 'All Aboard!" and then blow kisses at us! :)

The cake.  this was suppose to be a non stress cake but did NOT turn out that way.  Bobby wanted me to do the round cakes and not try to make cakes shaped like the engine and the individula cars and decorate with candy cuz he thought this would not be stressful.  I am just that kinda person cuz I still stressed and nothing worked the way I wanted :(  the track slid off the cake too LOL DERAILMENT

NOAH LOVED the Pinata :)

For all those still following along :)  Panda Boy and I send you Kisses in the Wind! 


Room for More said...

NO WAY is he already 4?!?!?! Time flies. He is looking so healthy and vibrant! Happy Birthday Noah from Texas!!

lorabelle said...

Love this loaded post about our Panda Boy! It's really hard for me to believe that Noah is 4 years old already... I know, Allie is right behind him in August, but it just seems like time has flown by so quickly. Too quickly most days!
The pictures sure do show that he and his friends and family had a wonderful celebration of love. I wish that I could have been there Tami. Thank you for always including me in the boys invites! He is growing and changing in so many ways. He will grow up to be a wonderful Man someday, he's already on his way thanks to his awesome Mama!

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!