Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Overwhelming!

Tonight I come to the blog to post about Overwhelming! That is such a word for me right now in my life with Noah! I am OVERWHELMED with gratitude to the Lord for this amazing gift of a child that He has blessed me with first and foremost! WOW! It just about knocks me over with how big that is, that God can chose a child a world away, chose a family with a mom who has NEVER been on a plane and is PETREFIED of flying and bridge an ocean to bring them together! WOW! MY GOD IS ABLE! I have another thing tonight that I am overwhelmed with and I dont even know the word for it. Noah was playing on the floor about a foot or so from me as was here on the computer as I was working on things for the girls lockin we are hosting tomorow night at our home for our Children's Church Girls. Well, he hurt himself somehow and began crying and came running to me! Now first off I am overwhelmed with how amazing it feels to me that my baby boy runs TO ME when he is hurt or scared! That is such an awesome feeling that he knows Mama is here and wants nothing more than to make it all better! For a long time after we came home if Noah was hurt he did not react at all. Then he got where he cried and just sat or laid there or threw himself down where he was. NOW, he runs to ME! :) Kinda of like our relationship with the Heavenly Father!! When we are hurt what do we do? do we run to Him? or do we flop where we are in tears and wait for Him to come to us. I guess the closer we get in our walk with God the easier it is to run to HIM and I guess that is happening with Noah! Anyway, Noah comes to me and I pick him up and he snuggles into my neck and lays his head on my shoulder and lets me love on him. He is crying. I am asking him what happend to my baby. What hurts. Noah is crying and in a bit of loving on him he calms down. I am still as mama trying to find out what happened. What hurts. He was not able to tell me. I became soo overwhelmed during this time with Noah! I began crying. Now not crying where I am making all this noise and all but just tears streaming down my face. It made me so sad that Noah can not tell me what hurts, what he wants, what he needs. I have been around several other children around his age and younger the past week or so and I watch them talk to there mom and dad and it makes me sad Noah can't do that. Now PLEASE dont' get me wrong! I accept Noah as he is! If he never speaks more than babbles then that is who he is and it is fine! BUT tonight it just so overwhelmed me and saddened me that he can't comminicate that to me. We are working on baby sign with him and he has learned eat and sort of more but he uses it more for yes than more. but it is a start. He seems to have a hard time and there are alot of signs I still don't know and need to find out asap. But just looking at him tonight long after whatever was hurt was feeling better and his tears had stopped it just hit me with an overwhelming force what it is gonna be like for him and me if he never is able to talk. I believe he will talk more than he does now. I am fine with it if he doesn't as far as loving him and all but it will sadden me so much and not just for me, but for him! I know how frustrated I tend to get when I try to explain something to someone and can't get the right words or get them to understand what I mean so I am sure it is frustrating for Noah and will get more so. I doubt this post is making any since at all but I just felt like I needed to share this with all y'all who love us and support us on this journey of life with Noah. The unknowness of his future overwhelms me as well. BUT, I do KNOW the One who does KNOW what Noah's future holds so that is really good!

well I will close for now. thanks for listening guys and please be in prayer for my sweet little guy! It is rather frightening to me to not know what he wants or needs. Just like with a younger baby who can't talk yet except that panda boy is much more active and mobile! LOL He has been called octopus boy a couple times too because he MUST have 8 hands! LOL

WE send you blessings and kisses in the wind!

6 comments:

Chris and Mary Malone said...

We, too are Overwhelmed by God's goodness!

momwithfaithandhope said...

God is Great, isn't he?

brazzel6 said...

I feel very overwhelmed at what God has done for us through adoption. Toby and I were talking about it yesterday and that it is amazing what our children have overcome in life! Yet, other than being "perfect" kids :), they are happy, normal,and well adjusted. God is so good!

The Family K. said...

What a landmark moment, Noah's running to you for comfort after his accident. It's been such a joy to read of how he is starting to open up.

Based on how far Naoh has come in such a short time, I really wouldn't be surprised at all if he learned to speak and communicate with you down the road. Regardless of what Noah's future holds for him, I know that you will have gobs of love for him and that the same God who started this journey with you, matched you with this child, got you through the worst plane ride of your life, will be there every step of the way for you both. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

Ruth said...

Hugs and blessings to you, Tami. I pray for you, Noah and your whole family. I am sure your un-ending love for Noah (which comes through so clearly in every post) will help him be all that he can be.

Mommy and Peepers said...

How sweet he is and you also. It is amazing how God shows us ourselves and Him in parenting.

All I can say is Baby Signing Time. It is a God send, go to signing time dot com and get the baby signing times. You can even watch some on U tube. Piper has watched them since 6 months and she has finally started to actually sign in august. It all goes in that smart little brain, it just takes some time to come out.

God Bless Carolee

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
AND NOW THE WAIT FOR JEREMIAH IS OVER TOO!!!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year


Kisses in the Wind

KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.


May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.


When Love Takes You In!