Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

One Nervous Mama!

well, I sit here tonight typying to y'all as my sweet Noah lays close by sleeping! I am ONE NERVOUS MAMA! I am so worried if we are doing the right thing by having these tubes put in. I decided to do some more research on tubes and everything I could find talked about tons of ear infections which Noah has not had since home anyway. I am not sure if he did in Taiwan or not. I did read about the movement of the eardrum testing flat and that being a reason for tubes and that is why they are saying Noah needs them. I just hate taking the risk of anesthesia but I also do NOT want him to continue to hear as if underwater if that is what is really going on. They can't guarentee that this will help him to speak but they said it couldn't hurt. I mean all very good reasons to get this done ASAP! But again am still ONE NERVOUS MAMA! I KNOW that God is ABLE and I KNOW that He can take care of my baby in that operating room. I feel like I have such lack of faith and am just a worrying mama here. My friend told me she believe God would be in the operating room with Noah and Noah would see Him! :) I so pray that kind of comfort over my baby boy! I so want what is best for Noah and only that! I despretly do NOT want him to EVER think we have abandoned him or that we have allowed someone to take him or hurt him. I fear that he will think that. I pray the "pink medicine" to make him relaxed and loopy they plan to give him will help with that and he won't feel that at all. I am sure y'all are like what is the big deal woman. I am sorry I am havin such a hard time with this. The other day someone called on the phone and I was not able to take the call because I had just found out about the surgery and I was crying. That person was shocked when told I could not talk because I was crying. They could not understant why this would make me cry. I AM ONE WEIRD MAMA too apparently. Well, this mama needs to at least lay down and spend some time talking to Jesus and prayerfully I can actually sleep some. I need to lay it all at HIS FEET! I will post as soon as I can with how Panda Boy does and all! PLEASE PLEASE PRAY tomorow. We arrive at the surgery center at 6:15 am central time and surgery is around 7:15 am central barring any delay and such.
Thanks Y'all :) Here are some pics for ya :)
heehee This is TOO cute! Mr. Noah has climbed up on a box that holds dvd's and is squatting on it and watchin tv! lol When I went to take the picture he turned and grinned at me like heehee I am climbing and you didn't stop me! heehee
My baby reaching for his mama! It is so hard for ME to get a picture of Noah! usually he reaches for me when I try to or he turns just as it flashes! lol
This is a cute shot of him :) he is lookin down but that sweet tiny smile is so cute :)

Here is Noah trying to open one of Daddy's birthday cards! He was quite confused by DADDY getting cards and gifts to open! lol :) He just knew something was for him too! poor baby! He did get to play with envelopes later :) My boy LOVES PAPER!

This was suppose to be a shot of Noah handing daddy his birthday card from Noah but the camera was too slow so it is after he did it! Bobby's first Birthday with a card from a son! :)

This is Noah leaning against bobby and I! It was just so cute to me with the little finger in th emouth and all! I thought y'all would think it sweet :)
Trying to get a picture of him with Daddy but he is reaching for me again! :) Who can turn down that sweet face and those wonderful arms of love that so want to be held and cuddled! :) I am SOOO THANKFUL that the Lord gave me a cuddle baby! YES sometimes it is difficult when he wants to be held and I want or need to do something that doesn't work with him in my arms, BUT I would not have it any other way! I LOVE that little bundle of love so much! :) I KNEW I was going to adore having a baby of my own again but I had NO CLUE the pure JOY that this boy would bring to my heart! Sometimes I get scared about what it will be like when Noah is a BIG boy or a teen or an adult. So many I know with sons do not get the hugs and climbing in the lap and all that I get with Celeste even at age 20! I worry that because he is a boy he will ge to that point where he won't want to be kissed and hugged and cuddled by mom so I am going to treasure it while I can!!!!! And continue to pray that just maybe my baby boy will always want to be held by his mama!

And I thought you table boy fans would enjoy this shot!
I present to you TABLE DOG! heehee
yup, that is brownie on Noah's shelf! LOL it is quite funny. I have YET to be able to get a good shot of them both up there together. Brownie tends to FLEE when Noah joins him on the shelf! heehee It is so funny to me that both pups love the shelf as much as Noah! :)
Well, I have procrastinated long enough. I will go lay in bed now and pray and try to sleep till we have to get up to get ready for hospital. Tonight I Pray Noah does wake for me to hold him and snuggle cuz mama sure wants a snuggle, course I can't give him a bottle now that it is after midnight but sometimes snuggling with me and the blanket he will go back to sleep so IF he wakes that will be what happens!
Night all,

WE send you blessings and KISSES IN THE WIND!


Kelly said...

Praying for you today! I understand your nervousness. My ds had to have it tounge clipped, and I felt teh same as you now. I also think God will be in tehre with him. Yes cuddlebugs can be difficult to do other things with, but I already had 2 that were not the cuddling type, so I think that makes mine that much more special :o)Get you some lots of cuddling today, and I pray that God will surround you with peace!

Expecting Good Things said...

Think of you right now. I pray that Noah comes through the surgery with flying colors! You're doing the right thing. It's really hard when our babies have to be put in someone else's hands but God is watching over him. Post when you can...

brazzel6 said...

Tami, I will be praying for you today, that you will have peace and strength and for Noah!

The Family K. said...

I've been praying for you guys and will continue to do so. Be comforted in knowing that God is able to do so much more than we can imagine.

lorabelle said...

I came to your blog right after we finished talking this morning to check out your post. Awesome as always... Noah is already home now and probably asleep in your arms. Thought about you all morning! I'll check in again later.
Oh, love the shot of the puppy on Noah's shelf. Too funny!

Lindsey's mom said...

Dont will be fine! Lindsey had tubes put in in July. It took all of 10 minutes...I did not even have time to get coffee! It will be JUST FINE!!!

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!