Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Breakthroughs and breakdowns and germies

Noah has been home 6 weeks Today! And with us for 6 weeks and 4 days!

Life with Noah is the most wonderful experience I could have ever imagined! I had no clue how wonderful (though very difficult at times) it would be. It amazes me how I can love this little creature more adn more adn more each day. I think how can I possibly love him any more and then I do! Just like with my daughter! It is amazing to me how God gives us that capacity to love! I look upon her face and am so amazed at the woman of God she has become! I am HOPING to have some pictures of Celeste to share soon though she always makes faces at me when I try and take pictures rather than smile! Twenty year old are something else! :) heehee Noah is so different than Celeste ever was. He is DEFINTLY a boy. He is much rougher, much harder in ways and easier in others! I did not think it was possible to be a more worrisome mother than I was with Celeste. I mean I was so young and the circumstances in our life were so not good, but I promose you I worry MORE about Noah than I ever did Celeste even as a preemie! I guess it is in part because he was adopted, in part because we are not positive if he has Fragile X or a form of mental retardation or not. We are not positive if he will speak or not. So I guess everythinc concerns me and I want so much more to be the best mamma I can to him, the mama I feel he so deserves and I feel totally inadequate at times to be that for him! Celeste was termed a "strong willed child" by folks in my life at that time. I beg to differ now that I have panda boy! heehee Now HE is strong willed! Much more stubborn that she ever was and that is saying so much! lol :) At times when he is so fussy I am so worried he is unhappy here but at other times I am so totally amazed at how well he is doing for ONLY being here in America for 6 weeks and with us just a few days longer! I mean his life it totally different than it was before. I wonder if he remembers still that we took him away from everyone and everything he knew? We have had a recent breakthrough! Here is a picture to prove it!

Here is my sweet panda boy HAPPILY playing in the exersaucer!!! It was a total fluke that he is even in there at that point. I had babysat for a lady and her 11 month old was in the exersaucer playing happy. WELL! Noah was so jealous and would come over and play with the toys from outside it! So after they picked the baby up I was cleaning the exersaucer and Noah comes up and is all tryin to play, so I put him in it! Fully expecting meldown city! To my surprise he played happily! I of course was right besdie him but the day may come where I can sweep the floor or something with him happily playing! :)

All the toys in the house and he wants to do wash! heehee :)
Here we are playing happy at the hospital waiting room the other day while our nephew was in surgery! This lasted until Noah got sleepy! He still refuses to go to sleep well when people are around! He went from this sweet smiley boy to a screaming, hitting, biting child and mind you not a tear in the eyes when he was doing it. He got sleepy and so I tried to rock and give bottle like at home, well he wanted the bottle but every time he got really sleepy he would try and get down and run around. Mama was havin no part of him running in the hospital. He had to be in someone's arms or the stroller. Well he really wanted to run because he knew any other way he would fall asleep. I left poor Bobby watching neice and nephew alone so I could try and calm him and get him to sleep. I tried to find a waiting room in the hospital with nobodyin it but no luck. I took him outside and tried to rock him, walk him, and on and on it went. He just screamed. A lady in the next building came out thinking he was hurt! I said no, its a fit and she was like do you want some crackers! heehee I was like no we have a bunch of finger foods, he is tired and fighting it and then I showed her no tears! She was like oh my! to tell you it did so worry me that hear I am standing with a child of Taiwan decnet and I am american and of course he looks NOTHING like me! I worried someone would think I stole him from his real mom and that was why he was pitching a fit. Have you ever worried about that BTDT moms? Anyway, Noah NEVER did take a nap! I woudl get him calmed down for a bit but as soon as he got really drowsy again the entire thing would start over. I ended up texting other adoptive moms for prayer! I am so blessed to have friends who care about us! :) I wish I knew why it is so hard for Noah to sleep when others are around. At home even if there are more than just the normal he will fight and I have to take him in a room just me and him. He wont go down for anyone but me or take a bottle from anyone but me either. We have the same thing at Church but I just take him off with just me and him and he goes down. Anyway, this is the main area he has gotten worse in and not better. I guess it is just him. It so breaks my heart for him to hit and bite and just so despretly fight me. We are learning about that, he will hit and pull hair and bite other times too but not as hard. Hitting is getting better overall. hair pulling is not and biting is mainly me when he is mad at someone else! go figure! If baba leaves, he will bite me! but again it is not hard bites like the sleep fit bite but I still tell him no because I dont want them to get harder! Anyway we had to go to the car dealership after the hospital cuz the car started messing up and on the way in the car Noah fell asleep. I was able to take him out of car seat and move him to stroller and he did not move! heehee After sleeping awhile he did end up moving his feet! Check out the picture!

Is that not the cutest thing?? :) heehee It makes his feet look SOOO much bigger than they are! I guess cuz they are the closest thing to the camera!
Here are a few more pictures to share! :)

This is the cutest little smirk I get sometimes! He is so adorable! :)

He has decided Jei Jei is a bridge here! He didnt even try to get her to move, just went under :)
We have been bitten by germies here :( Noah and mama. Mama worse so today especially. I'm not sure how well you will able to see it but his nose is so runny. I wipe it and seconds later it is like this again. Poor baby :( only 1 day did it slow him down. I mean he is crabby and all but stil moving! Busy busy!

this one I just wanted to share because he is so beautiful! I just adore looking at that face. Can you see how red he is under his nose and on his cheeks? part if fever and part is from us wiping his nose so much.
Well, my snuggle bunny is wanting in mama's lap so I best scoot.
WE send you blessings and kisses in the wind!


Lisa said...

Oh gosh, its no fun when Mama is sick and even worse when the munchkins are sick too!
I hope you both on are on the mend soon! Take care of yourselves!
Lisa C.

The Family K. said...

It is amazing how love just grows more love.

Hope you two feel better soon.

lorabelle said...

He really does seem to be growing and changing so much. I know that sometimes when we are with are children day in and day out, we don't see the significant change as it just blends into another day. But his expressions are changing Tami and he looks great! I can see it in his eyes!
Have a wonderful weekend!

The Becks Family said...

It's so hard having a tired babe and being out and about. He was probably over-stimulated and over-tired. And with being sick on top of it all. Good job Momma. I can't wait for my share of toddler fits. Always a fun time. :) Your patience and love for Noah is truly showing. He is adjusting and knows Mommy is the one who will make him feel better. What a sweet pea. :) What is he going to be for Halloween?

Sarah k said...

These are simply wonderful pictures!! I hope all are better soon hon! Adoption is a wonderful but different creature hon. Just enjoy him. Time goes by so fast!!

Sarah k.

brazzel6 said...

I can totally sympathize with you on the sleep issue. My princess (home 2 years) still has trouble falling asleep and does not sleep all night either. The lack of sleep is a huge issue around our house since she came home! If you find a solution please post, because I have tried many things.

Also, I put a wallet size snapshot of our family in my purse, just in case I was ever asked. Not sure it would have really helped, but it made me feel more secure. Especially since I had a child that loved to scream, "I want my mommy!" when he was pitching a fit in public.

Cute pictures of Noah!
Kayla Brazzel

Ellie said...

Congratulations on your little Noah! I have so enjoyed watching your journey to bring him home, and your adjustment! Reading your blog makes me even more excited for the day we get to bring our little Lily home!!

As for your concern that others might think you're harming somebody else's child when he's throwing a tantrum in public...Well, I've been there with my son, Jacob. I especially felt that way when we were in Thailand! However, pretty soon you won't give it a second thought. He is your son!!! Now it's as if I forget he's adopted. I'll realize that somebody we've just met is looking at us, wondering if he's ours, and I don't even think to explain, because he's our son, and we don't think of him as different. He's just one of us!

Congratulations again! I share your joy!

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year

Kisses in the Wind

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.

When Love Takes You In!