Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone; but, still miraculously, my own.
Never forget, for a single minute you didn't grow under my heart, but in it.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

So, how long are you gonna do this? and playdate.

Today we went to my friend Margaret's house for a much needed playdate!  For me and for the boys! :)  Thought I would share about the play date :) First of all NOAH got his first bloody nose from injury! He was pushing Joseph in the swing and would not stand back far enough like we said and whack in the nose and to the ground he went. He cried but got up and walked to me so not too bad. It did bleed but not alot. Of course I had to take a picture first :)


This is after I zoomed in you can see Noah on the ground after he got knocked down and bloody nose.




He learned to come down carpeted stairs on his hiney. I did NOT LIKE this part at all and was scared to death but he did well with it really. I did NOT get a picture of that! I was too nervous EVERY time he went down. Normally when we go the "choo choo's are downstairs I guess because so many kids are there but today they were upstairs since it was just us coming. He would not stay up there long without me so it became a constant up and down and I thought I would go nuts.


We then went out in the back yard. they have a BIG playset out there and he loved it. It has levels to climb and a high slide. Made me very nervous but other than falling once (thank God it has the landings and walls. he fell back and I saw it but could not get to him but he just fell back against the wall and landed on landing. MY HEART leaped through my throat. Margaret was like he is fine. I know boys will be boys but man my heart... he cried but then recouped pretty quick and did ok. VERY NERVOUS time for me. But even with all that he had a blast :) and I had a great time with my dear friend! :)




then inside the put all the big couch cushions on the floor and would roll off couch onto cushions and laugh and laugh! it was cute though I felt bad because it was not something she normally allowed. 


Margaret made Mac and cheese , animal crackers, and baby organges for lunch. Noah did not eat the orange but ate all the rest up really good.  I am not sure he even tasted the orange.  I WISH I could get him to eat fruit, to even taste it but alot of times he won't.  We visited a lot and it was so nice :)


They had ice pops out on the patio.






Jeremiah did NOT like the ice pop too much :) lol
what a face he made!  Not sure if it was the flavor or color. 


and was kinda fussy a couple times outside though did like the wind.




He did the arm thing.  I am not sure what this is, but he will lift his arms all the way up slowly and then all the way back down slowly.  Sometimes he is asleep and sometimes awake when he does it.


after inside again after she put her youngest down for a nap and then she has one of those hanging bouncy seat things I want for Jeremiah so she helped me put him in it and try it out ;)  I do not even know for sure what you call it but I SOOO want one :)





The picture doesn't show it but he really liked it :) later he was actually smiling! Margaret said if we got one  we could put a bobby behind him to help him hold his head up :)  He can hold it up good but when I put him in things like this and the bumbo he leans back.  Not sure why. 

Noah had a FIRST for him.  He ran across the grass BAREFOOT!  He normally will not take his shoes off even in the house without a fight and has NEVER been willing to run in the grass without shoes.  It did take a few minutes to get him to be willing to go off the patio (which I was floored Mrs. Margaret got him to take shoes off to begin with).  It started with her telling him to take them off to grip the stairs with his toes coming down on hiney and they stayed off awhile. 



It was a wonderful morning even though I almost had apperplexy with the stairs and high play place :)

Also thought I would show you this picture of Noah throwing a fit to get out of his car seat the other day!  It shows what a good seat it is that he can't get out though he is not safe like this.  The van was parked waiting on daddy in  the first of 3 pharmacies trying to get meds for Jeremiah.

see how he has got the thing that goes over his chest down to his belly and arms out but can't get any further.  He is totally mad at this point! I was holding Jeremiah in the front seat and feeding him bollus in his tube when it started and was trying to tell him I would get him out in a bit.  It was frustrating because he should be able to sit in his seat and not have to get out just because we are parked but he wants out if we are not moving.  After I got done feeding I took this picture using my phone and the mirror.  I can't beleive it worked and was done one handed! lol

So afer our playdate and lunch this morning I had to go to my personal doctor.   She is a good doctor and always been sweet and all, though hard to get an appoitment.  You have to wait days sometimes, and that is so hard if you are sick or having alot of pain or something.  Anway this was a followup to some tests she did awhile back.  So we are talking and all and I have both  boys with me of course so she is aksing how they are both doing and then she says to me, "So how long are you gonna continue to do it?" I'm like what and she says keep him. WHAT!! I am still in shock by the question !!  I have told several on facebook and text and they were like livid for me and all and were like I know you are so mad.  I did not get mad, more sad really.  She is Asian as well.  I just think she thinks it is just too much to do to take care of him.  I did not ask her what she would have me do but I bet she was thinking putting him somewhere which I could NEVER do.  I adopted him because I loved him an dhe was a gift to me from GOD!  She was shocked when my responce was forever of course!  She was like , "Really??"   I have been told I should get a new doctor but I will continue to see her because as she takes care of me she will see LOVE make a difference and that Jeremiah's life has value.  She is a good doctor and I feel comfortable with her but she has never seemed to understand my desire to adopt the boys.  Even when it was just Noah :)  and she has seen how he has grown and changed and can now talk and everything.  I look at my frogie boy and I just can't fathom how anyone could ask how long am I gonna care for him.  I wonder would she ask me that had I givin birth to him from my body.  She might have.  I look into his face and I am in love.   Yes he does not always respond and give me smiles, yes he has alot of needs I have to tend too, yes I get soo tired especially when he is awake all night long, but he is my son and he is worth every ounce of energy I have. 
 

We went to the Neurologist yesterday and I really dislike that man more each time I go.  He seems to contradict himself every time we go.  Yesterday he was very gloom again and just talked about only enough to barely sustain life at THIS point.  He was saying he has NO BRAIN.  but then later he said someting about he thinks its you touching him.  if he has no brain how does he think?  for that matter how does he eat from a spoon, how does he smile, and laugh at times, how does he roll over the few times he has, how does he TRY to roll.  How does he appear to scoot to me.  How is that he can be crying and I pick him up and sing to him and hold him and he calms down, and then I put him down and he starts back.  to me that says he KNOWS me and WANTS to be help.  even if he doesn't know me, he KNOWS he is being help.  I am beginning ot think doctors really don't know anything.  So much of me wishes I could go to some really big place with great docs and hospitals and just see what they thought about all this with Jeremiah.  This Neuro will say in one breath he is doing good and in the next that he has no brain and it gonna have all these problems and he is barely sustaining life.  I am so thrilled he is doing as good as he is.  To look at him you would not thing the gloom and doom they talk about.

My freind I spent the day with whose sister is special needs is so encouraging to me :)  She was not suppose to live as long as she has, she is 28!  I pray they day comes that I am blogging about Jeremiah's 28th birthday! :)  Can you imagine a blog over 30 years old!  I LOVE IT :) 

I have not been getting as many comments and it make sme sad and wonder if anyone cares anymore, if anyone is following along.  But really this blog will be here to be a reminder to me of all God has done in our lives, and in the comments a reminder of all the amazing people God has brought in along the journey :)  and someday for Noah and I pray Jeremiah to read and know all about the journey to get them and the life with them :)

Lastly I ask those that are still reading along to PLEASE keep our family in prayer.  I have some unspoken requests but they are very important for us.  It is not anything health related so please don't worry but the need for prayer is great :)

thanks everyone, I send you blessings and kisses in th wind! :)

11 comments:

Sandra & Steve said...

Tammy, so sorry for not commenting, I do check in, but I don't comment regularly, life gets busy but you are not alone. The love and support is always here for you and your family. Your boys are wonderful. I KNOW you delight in them. I KNOW for J there are so many challenges but as you said you are his Mommy. Don't let others views spoil it for you. I've seen his smiles, I "hear" what you say how he responds to you. Enjoy, live. What you do is the most wonderful and the hardest thing all at the same time with J's prognosis. None of us wants it to be what "they" are saying and frankly it may or may not be. You have to find your peace with uncertainity. Your love, well, that is never a question. I hope for you that you find a place where you can be that enjoys each moment as it is...I hppe J continues to feel your love for a lifetime to come. Noah is a sweetie too!

Room for More said...

Tami, I read EVERY word and I am always praying for your sweet family. I am glad you got a play date with friends today.

I deal with the whole "don't get it" mentality a lot. Embryos are not people to most doctors. They are a blob of cells. I just keeping pressing forward fighting to find a doctor who will transfer our babies. We found one in Dallas.

I pray for you friend. I pray 10/2/10 will be a joyous celebration by all who attend!

Soozie4Him said...

Tami, I've been reading your blog since you first got Noah - I found you on the Christian Homes group. I've been praying for you this whole time. I've emailed you a couple times at your AOL address - do you still use that one? I'd love to correspond via email.

That doctor's comment about "how long are you gonna do this" blows me away. But Tami, I'm PROUD of you for having the attitude you do. People are livid because they love you and they are so offended for you, but YOU have a lovely attitude - you are going to teach this doctor about what LOVE really looks like. Sounds like she's a good doctor for you medically, but has much to learn in her heart. And you, my dear one, are the one to teach her. And Jeremiah will teach her too, as Noah has done already!

I'm honored to pray for you, and would love it if you would email me at:

moot96 AT aol DOT com

You know that the AT and DOT aren't really part of the address, I'm sure. My "identity" for comments is google, but I don't use my Gmail acct for email.

Would be honored to pray for you in ANY way I can! Please write me Tami!! :-)

Love,
Susan from Chicago
Mother of 3 grown girls, two sons-in-law and 2 grandbabies with two more on the way!

MO said...

I also, wanted to say that I do follow your blog. I just do not make a lot of comments.

Talley Images said...

still reading/following

brazzel6 said...

Tami, I have followed your blog since you were bringing Noah home and will continue to follow as long as you blog. Sorry for not posting! I have noticed a lack of comments on my blog, too! People tell me all the time that they read, but they never comment!

Keep loving those beautiful boys! Your family is a testimony to what God can and will do. I was thinking about the miracles you have reported with Jeremiah already and got excited about what I see God doing! I can't wait to read all about it here!!!!!

You have such a beautiful spirit, because I am not sure I could go back to your doctor after that comment!

I am praying for y'all and can't wait to read that post when Jeremiah turns 28!

Hugs,
Kayla

Lisa said...

Still here Tam ~ and still praying, every day!

You know best and I understand wishing to keep a physician that knows your history....but my goodness that was unimaginable what she said to you.

*sigh*

Take care of yourself....


hugs,
Lisa

Candace said...

Tami

I too am not good about posting here - but I faithfully read. Us running into each other at Posados the other day was not an accident. God ordained and while you may not have realized that - I did. I am praying for you. I know Jeremiah's doctor because my friends child uses the same doctor. I am so sorry that you are having a rough experience with him. I really don't know much about him except that he is all we really have in this area.

I know we don't know each other well but we don't live that far apart. Please email me personally if I can pray for you, meet you, or just hug you.

God's strength and blessings to you,
Candace Posey
single adoptive China Mom of Two-Amelia & Addison
Jamestown Louisiana

Lisa said...

Tammy, still following along! I just don't post much. I continue to pray for your family and that those doctors who just don't get any of it will someday "get" what a powerful God we serve!

Denise said...

It has been my experience that doctor's always want to give the worst case scenario! I listen to the docs but I trust in God! If I had of taken everything Elijah's doctors said to heart and believed them, well he wouldn't be here now! God bless you! The world needs more folks like you, you are doing a great thing by adopting these kids and giving them a better life!
By the way:
You have a blog award! Pick it up at
http://preemiedays1.blogspot.com/2010/09/thanks-for-blog-award-tracy-from-life.html

The Coleman Family said...

Hello Tammy-
This is your friend who contacts you from Colorado. I do continue to follow your journey. Please do not feel alone. I just feel like I barely have time to read and pray most days :o) but we are praying for your family, for Jeremiah's healing and for peace and balance in your home! It all comes together in time! Hang in there, you are doing a great job with all your kids.
Jamie

THE WAIT FOR NOAH IS OVER!!!! November 3, 2007~September 8, 2008 First heard about Noah~Noah in our Arms!
AND NOW THE WAIT FOR JEREMIAH IS OVER TOO!!!
April 1, 2009~ June 7, 2010 First committed to Jeremiah~Jeremiah in our Arms!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!

The FIRST Picture we EVER saw!
Noah WesLee 5 months old

The First Picture we ever saw of:

The First Picture  we ever saw of:
Jeremiah Harold Sisemore ~1 year


Kisses in the Wind

KISSES IN THE WIND
I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.


May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I sent to you each night.


When Love Takes You In!