Two Steps Forward, Three Steps Back

I feel like in alot of things that is what we do, we take two steps forward and then bam we are three steps backwards. But I know Noah is doin better and better and I know he is joyful and happy more and more so this is good. We have been workin on trying to just get him where he will play in our room somewhere! The ONLY room so far he has been happy without bein held is the living room. I suspect this stems from being raised for almost 17 months in one room at SLC. He literally wigs if we put him down and even sit on floor beside him to play. He shows some interest in the crib when it has toys in it but not for long. Well, we have decided to try and get him to stay in there and play for longer and longer periods. We are LITERALLY right beside the crib. He will play happy a few minutes and then cry and I will talk to him and reassure him, play peek a boo with him through the crib rails and it is beginning to work. Last night he played in there a good while and I sat in the chair RIGHT by it and read emails. Well, the next thing I knew HE WAS ASLEEP! I was like WOW! Then I cried. LOL I know you are like HUH? heehee but I did, then I felt guilty for not takin him out when he was fussin. Bobby was like but he wasnt fussin when he went to sleep, he was playin happy at that point. Then I worried if he was ready for all night. But we decided to try and go to bed. So we get in bed and I am like constantly lookin over at the crib, prayin over him, worrying. We sleep with music and a fan so then I am worried we wont hear him if he cries! NOW if you know Noah that was just silly on my part :) heehee but I am this worryin mama. So I never actually went to sleep. so a bit later he is coughin in the crib and I am worried about it but we are like wait and see what he does. It stops and he is quiet again. So then about 2 hours in the crib he wakes us SCREAMING! and so I go and pick him up. HE IS DRENCHED and smelly! He has thrown up all over himself and is NONE to pleased by it :( ugggh Poor guy, the first time he throws up and gets scared mama is across the room :( I felt so bad. I cleaned him up and he settled down in bed with us and went back to sleep. I still don't know WHY he threw up but I am so thankful he seems better. Here are pics of him at the beginning of the 2 hours on his first night to try and sleep in crib



Isn't he gorgeous???




I just love this little guy! :) So this mornin when he woke up I decided we should have a play session cuz he is so busy in our bed at 7 am! heehee so I put him in the crib with toys. He again fussed. I sat at computer and when he fusses I talk to him and he will calm a bit and play. It is a process. I just have to time takin him out after playtime when he is playin and not fussin.

We seem to be goin forward and back on eating too. I know this is all a process it just worries me I am not bein a good mom to him. But all I can do is pray and love him and do what I think is right as we go right?

It amazes me how MUCH I love this little guy! I so worried it would feel odd or I would have to learn to love the actual baby since it had been pictures I fell in love with, but nope. I loved him immediatly and each day is stronger and stronger. EVERYONE loves him! heehee We walk in a room and faces light up! :) and then his does too! He is such a people person but DONT try and take him from mama! :)

Well, I best get of here and see if we can begin the morning war, oops I mean breakfast! heehee

WE send you hugs and kisses in the wind!

Panda Bear News and The Family Four!

Hi all :)





Noah is doin so good :) I thought I would share a few pics and a bit about things here with the Family Four! :) Noah has discovered he can climb under the coffee table! :) He thinks the shelf is built JUST for him :) heehee








Now he realizes Mama saw him ! :)








Jei Jei went out of town last weekend and had her first trip to IKEA. She bought Noah a Christmas Present, then proceeded to give it to him the night she got home! heehee :) Here they are playing with this little toy that has a hammer! Noah has AMAZING social skills. He would tap on it a bit, hand her th ehammer and have her tap a bit and back and forth they went!








Noah then decides Mama needed to play too! I LOVE this shot of him headed to ME with the Hammer! :)











He came to me and then in a bit headed back to Jei Jei and fell into her and got her right between the eyes with the hammer! She is rethinking buyin baby bro a hammer! :) heehee She is fine but it did lump up on her :(








We have been spending some time trying to get Noah used to his crib. He actually has shown a bit of interest in it on his own when we walk by a few times so we will put him in when he does. here are a couple of him in it!

















It never lasts too long before he is fussin to get out but a little at a time!





I have started layin him in the crib at nap time after we rock to sleep! I laid a bottle in there with him because he will wake up a night cryin and a I give him a bottle so we thought maybe he would take the bottle if he woke up in the crib. Well, he wont. He wakes up as one mad little Panda Boy and throws said bottle at US! Here he is actually SLEEPING IN the crib!











This was yesterday. Like I said he woke up very upset. But Mama decided we had to try again today and I did. Well today he woke up screaming and started standing up. So I go to him and just about get him, he runs from me backwards in crib and THROWS himself backwards and smackes his head on the end of the crib. I scoop him up and he is still screaming and wont look at me. I am talkin to him and telling him its ok and huggin on him and all. He looks left and right and all around like he is totally disoriented but wont look at me at all. Wont respond to anything. VERY Strange :( He is totally wigged out and also won't let me put him down. It was dreadful. I just finally held him and rocked him and prayed. He went back to sleep on my shoulder for a bit and woke up again crying. After awhile he was all smiled again but I think he is angry at me for putting him in the crib.








Tonight was our last night to spend as a family and do anything before Bobby goes back to work Thursday. Tomorow night is Church so tonight was the last free one. Well, Bobby, Celeste, Noah and I all went on a picnic for Supper! We went to the Fountains downtown in a neighboring town! These were the SAME fountains that we all went to on our first date! Bobby and I and all 10 chaperones! heehee It was really really neat bein there tonight as a family. The place it kinda all began. Without that we would not have been a couple to get married and adopt Noah so it was kinda emotional for mama





Here is Noah in his stroller on the way to picnic tables! He LOVES outside! This is the FIRST time he has stayed in his stroller HAPPY! He did the entire time we were there! I was so thankful because it is close to the road and I was fearful to have him out toddlin round.


!








Here is Bobby and I with Noah in stroller in the EXACT spot of our First Picture together! :) It was a group photo taken the night of the first date!











Here is Bobby and I in front of some of the actual fountains! On the night of the first date everyone was runnin through these fountains and Bobby and I just walked and talked! Bobby says it was here at the fountains where he KNEW that He was gonna marry me! We visited it several times durin our courtship.






We did not know Celeste was takin this picture! :)


This is on the EXACT spot that Bobby first asked me for a kiss and I said NO! lol and the exact spot he proposed the FIRST time and I said I can't answer you yet! heehee He did FINALLY get a kiss on this spot, but tonight Noah got all the kisses! :) He was like what are y'all doin??


Here is a picture of The Family Four on the same spot!



Poor Noah! He has to wonder what on earth these crazy people are doing! :)

It is SOOOO hard to get a good smiling picture of this boy! He smiles ALL the time, which is funny since that was one of my huge worries that he would not be able to smile or didnt connect enough to smile because the udpate pics were not smiling! Well, He is so darn curious! You pull the camera out and he notices and he is all into the camera! Anyway, He is a smiley guy and I just totally MELT every time he smiles! :) I do the same when he cries :( I HATE it. I will tell you this little guy can scream like he is bein skinned because you put him down, or he has to sit in car seat or whatever. Yesterday I was drivin with him alone and he was screamin like nuts. I kept drivin faster and faster tryin to get home quicker and get him out of seat. I was cryin myself because he was so upset and so wanted me to pick him up. I finally get where I am off the interstate and get to yard and stop and get him out of his seat real quick and he stops cryin IMMEDIATLY and there as NOT one tear in his eyes! LOL Here it sounded as if he was sobbin and sobbin! and he was SCREAMIN but not cryin. He is somethin else :) I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH!

Well, I am so exhuasted and I need to get off here quickly and hopefully get an hour of sleep before he wakes up. That seems to be his hardest thing in his adjustment. Sleep. He totally wants me to HOLD him and him not touch the bed. He thrashes in his sleep and he will wake alot and cry and cry :( I keep prayin he will have more peaceful sleep.

Well, hugs to all
We send y'all kisses in the wind!

Noah, Noah, Noah! :)

Noah is doin so well at times :) Sleep is still a major issue and I believe it is because he thinks we will leave in his sleep or something. He wants to be held to sleep but will fall good asleep roll out of my arms and then just a short while later wake up SCREAMING! Boy can he scream loud! heehee poor guy! He is doing so well, much better than we thought he would be able to :) He has learned some english as far as comprehension goes. It amazes me how much he appears to comprehend. He had his FIRST Early Steps Eval and did amazing :) The intake coordinator said she saw things that were VERY encouraging and good signs to his ability to learn! Which I KNEW he could learn cuz he is daily! :) She figures him at about 9 months old developmentally at 17 months of age. She says his behaviors and such are that of a 9 month old. She is concerned about his feeding, thinking he should be able to eat more and bigger items and such. Course he only has 5 and half teeth and all are front teeth so he is behind on teeth. That does NOT bother me :) Celeste did not even have her FIRST tooth at this age and she has NEVER had a cavity :) She says he would definitly benefit from intervention but he has 3 more evals from different ones to go through before the decision is made, it is not all her. I know at least 1 of them is an Occupational Therapist. It will probably be at least a week before anyone calls to set up the next step because she says they are way overburdened with intake right now.

Anyway, here is a video of one of the things we taught Noah to do! :) heehee My 17 month old can't speak at all but HE CAN KISS! :) We are talkin to him all the time and he does comprehend but so far no words in english or chinese! In the video try to look at NOAH and what he is doin and NOT ME or the HOUSE! heehee

Also here are some pics of some other things Panda Boy is doing :)

Noah has discovered the TV! LOL it is so funny. We have to really watch him because he will run to it and try to touch it, stand and just stare! I know he is thinking, HOW did they get in there! LOL

Here is a picture of Noah and Samuel on the first day we kept Samuel. :) I guess one of the benefits of being in an orphange is social skills. Noah is 17 months, Samuel 2 years and 4 months and Noah has MUCH more social skills. He will intiate play and try and share and offer his water bottle and everything. Samuel is not so sure about all this. He actually acted sad a bit this week. He use to LOVE to look at NOah's pictures and would smile and try to say Noah and all but now that Noah is real and STAYING he is NOT so sure about this! Above is a rare moment I caught where he actually engaged with Noah! :) Praying Samuel forgives me for bringing Noah here! It is funny but he wanted NOTHING to do with me for the longest. Noah is fine with Samuel unless I hold him in the rocker or change his diaper. Noah will scream! It is funny watchin these guys! :)

As Always Jei Jei has a blast with Noah and Samuel! :) They just love to rough house :) Both of them :) You should pray for me when these two rowdy boys are both climbing on ME! :) heehee

Noah LOVES his baba for playtime especially and as he does with all of us when we are on the floor he loves to climb and crawl on us :) Baba will have to leave to go get something and Noah will fuss in my lap and when Bobby comes back he gets these amazing smiles and Noah toddles to him arms in the air! It is adorable and I am almost jealous, BUT Noah wants me all the time so IF I even try to use restroom without him when I come back he is SCREAMIN and arms up! He definitly has connected to me as security. I PRAY IT IS ATTACHMENT and healthy! He much prefers me when tired, or feeding, or diaper changes. Like he already knows Baba will be goin to work and Mama will be primary caretaker :)

I just LOVE this photo. Noah is at my legs and he is studying a toy INTENTLY. I am not sure you can tell that. He is SOOO curious and he has to figure everything out! He has already watched me try and fix the pictures in his little picture book enough that now he has figured out how to take them out! uggh :) I have to tape them hin there now and tape the flaps closed! He is ALL boy as in havin to take it all apart :) He seems very interested in tv though when I am watching cooking, old dragnet or adam 12, or medical shows! We are joking that he will be either a chef, a cop. or a doctor! Don't matter what he is , he is MY SON! :) I just LOVE to look at THAT FACE! :)

Well, just thought I would share NOAH NOAH NOAH! :)

Till next time WE send you kissses in the wind!

2 Smiles and....

I must say that I have been shocked and blessed that I was given several awards recently!!! :) I was given 2 smile awards and an I love your blog award. Tiff and Melissa each awarded me wit a smile award!! so sweet :) and Melissa also gave me an I love your blog award :) Thank you so much to both of these ladies for thinking of ME! :) WOW! :) I am honored!

Here are the Smile Award rules:

1. The recipient must link back the the award's creator.

2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.

3. You must choose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.

4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award.

5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.

6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.

7. You must thank your giver.

Characteristics for the Smile Award:

1. Must display a cheerful attitude (not necessarily at all times--we are all human).

2. Must love one another.

3. Must make mistakes.

4. Must learn from others.

5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world.

6. Must love life.

7. Must love kids.

Ok, now for the hard part. All of the blogs that I read are awesome and they all deserve to receive some type of recognition. This is goin to be tuff! So, here goes my pick of 5 worthy bloggers who I award the smile and the I LOVE your blog award. But I will warn you I had to do 6! and it was HARD to stop there! All of these are blogs I HAVE to check EVERY day adn wait with baited breath to see a new post. I am having such a small amount of time online lately because Noah so needs me with him every second but before I collapse in bed I have to check my bloggy friends :) Forgive me if these are repeats.

Jackie over at Taiwan On This is Jackie's blog redo after brringing Miss Lucy home from Taiwan! Jackie and her hubby Jeff shared Gotcha Day with us and it was a wonderful experience. I have learned so much from her on her blog and in person! :) She is such a dear friend and I am blessed to call her friend! :)

Judy over at Anatomy of a Family. This is Judy's new blog now that Mr. William has been home! Judy has been a wonderful friend and one of the first bloggers I followed and WATCHED bring home her boy! :) She is always there for me with a kind word and I am so blessed to have met her :)

Holli whose blog is private! Holli is SUCH a dear friend. She is the mama of Miss Breelyn Chia-ling who Noah was such good friends with at St. Lucy's. It was said of the 2 of them Always together! I love reading her blog when she is able to post and followin her journey to bringing Miss Breelyn home! She is such a dear friend, is always checking in on me and Noah! :) Again I am incredibly blessed to have met her in this journey :)

Lora over at Waiting for Allie Girl! I have so enjoyed reading along on the journey to Allie :) I love seein what she is doing and getting to know my wonderful friend Lora better and better. I am so blessed and honored that God has brought Lora into my life as my friend!! :) She is always their to offer advise or just an kind word :)

Marina over at Over the Rainbow Heart! :) Marina has shared her heart with me and her experience of spending time at St. Lucy's after her daughter Sarah had surgery! I was so blessed to have a glimpse into the world of my son before we brought him home. Marina's is another one of those blogs I just have to check EVERY day in hopes of a new post! I am so blessed to have met her and been invited into her journey to Sarah! :)

And last but definitly NOT least my dear friend Ramano! Ramona has a new blog at 2 baby beaus though she had a different blog before and I LOVED reading it too! It allowed me to get to know her adn her family and follow her journey to Miss Jaden! :) Again I am so blessed to have her in my life.

And I also LOVE my friend TIFF's blog! She and I have become so close over the internet world thanks to the blogs and messenger :) She is the one who gave me the award but she deserves it back as well! :) She definitly is one who can put a smile on my face! AS are all he friends listed above! :) I am so amazed at all I have gained for me personally on this journey other than my NOAH :) He is blessed with some sweet Auntie's who are raising his friends! Can't wait for the reunion with them all some day!

Friendship, Frienship, its a perfect blendship!

God has so blessed me in this journey to my Noah with some new friendships! I am so blessed by all my faraway friends in the adoption journey with me and was totally blessed and honored to share our Gotcha Day with one such dear friend! I had to go across the ocean to meet my special friend Jackie and her sweet hubby Jeff! They were wonderful and it felt like we had known them forever :) I treasure the time I had with Jackie and Jeff and if not for them being there would have NO VIDEO of meeting my Noah as our little video thing that Bobby was using did not work and we have NO VIDEO on it! Anyway, we shared several wondeful breakfasts with Jackie and Jeff and such sweet fellowship :) We were blessed to witness them getting Miss Lucy and will always treasure that as well! :) It was very sad to say goodbye to them as they traveled home to reality. I KNOW that someday we will see each other again :) I asked Jackie for copies of pics she took of us because I wanted reminders that it was real and I did get to meet her :) I hope she is ok with me posting them there :)

Here is Jackie and I on Gotcha Day Morning! Can you tell we are a TAD excited???


Here we are at St. Lucy Center with our sweet babies! They are what it is all about! God gave me my sweet Noah and MANY new good friends! :)


I can NEVER thank Jackie and Jeff enough for how sweet and kind they were to Bobby, Noah and I while we were a world away from home. We shared a cab ride of a lifetime :) and a bond that will always be there! I will hold them in a special place in my heart FOREVER! :)

I also want to send out a very special thanks to all of Noah's Aunties who are mama's to his St. Lucy Center roomies! :) I am so blessed daily by your friendship and by your generosity in helpign to bring Noah home and sending gifty's to Noah and Me! :) It is like a whole new addition to the family with all y'all :) I pray God will richly bless you all and I look forward to the day I meet the rest of you! :)

God has so grown me over the years. There was a time I could not truly allow anybody in close enought to be a friend, now he has blessed me with friendships that are so prescious here in own town and across the United States and even the world with the internet! :) I am blessed by the MOST amazing Church family on the planet. They are not just our friends, They are our family! :) Noah will be so blessed to grow up in such love!

thanks for allowing me this time to in some small way honor all these special friendships! Just be glad you can't HEAR me sinign the song! Friendship, Friendship, its a perfect blendship! :) heehee

Noah Celebration, First Sunday at Church, and first Cici's trip!

Happy Sunday Evening all! :)

Yesterday Noah decided he would get down in his room for a FEW minutes and look at some books and play with some of the toys! Freecycle, sell it site, garage sales and goodwill have been so good to us over the past 10 months of gathering! I had worried he would not be happy with what we had gathered and all but he seems to love everything :) The piano in the picture was CELESTE'S along with a few of the other items! I can't believe he is playing with things Celeste did and I managed to keep a few of them all this time through all we have been through :)

Also, Yesterday my mother took Bobby, Celeste , Noah and I to Chili's (our fav restraunt!!!) to celebrate NOAH! :) She wanted to treat us to something special and have a celebration! :) She is just SLIGHTLY excited about this new grandson of hers! :) Here is a picture that Celeste caught of us at the restraunt. We hold hands around the table before every meal to pray. Well, Panda Boy does NOT like us to hold his hands, so Bobby and I just touch him in some way to include him in the circle. I had no clue Celeste was taking this picture but here is what she got of Noah during the blessing of our food at Chili's:

Is that not the CUTEST thing you have ever seen? I wonder if he has been watching us since we began this and noticed we all close our eyes so when we touch him for prayer and he closes his eyes now! :) Maybe its a fluke but either way it is so cute! :)

This morning was our first day back at Church. Every since we got home we have taken time away from the normalcy of life to kinda seclude ourselves at home and get to know Noah and allow him to know us. We were not goin to Church or any regular activities or having any visitors

durin that timeframe. I was sad to see it end but at the same time missed my Church family so was happy to see them today! I am not ready for what the coming week holds and am VERY apprehensive about it and loosing this special time we have had at home but have made a commitment that I will learn to say no when I need to so we can be home more. I do NOT plan to raise my son in the car! Anyway, as I started to say, today was the first day back at Church. Here is a WONDERFUL picture of Bobby and Noah in their Sunday Clothes! :) It is not the best shot of Noah's little suit but a WONDEFUL shot of his face! :)

Isn't that smile AMAZING!!! :)

This is me TRYING to carry Noah into the sanctuary for service! Little Jon Luke Hutson is so enthralled with Noah he is visiting along the way!

This picture is just so gorgeous of his face I had to share! LOOK at those eyelashes!!!!

We took some pics of Celeste and Noah together but they did not come out. Tryin to get use to this different camera and pics come out odd sometimes. Here is one she is probably gonna kill me for posting! :) She is acting silly and like MOM enough with the camera! :) LOL

After Church we were treated to Cici's Pizza for lunch! Here is Noah and his first experience with Pizza! :) He basically liked it! lol I had to break off tiny pieces for him to eat as he only has 5 and half teeth and is not real good with solid food it seems. But we had to try and put a peice in his mouth to see what he would do! :) so cute :)

I don't know if you can see or not but his rash or whatever on his cheeks that he has had from when we got him is getting worse. At first they were just so rough, now they are rough and red. I am wondering if it is exzema or something? He now has a rash under is arms, you really can't see it but you can feel it. Maybe its heat rash. It is hot here in Louisiana but it was hot in Taiwan too so I am not sure what it is. His hands and knees and feet are sooo dry and rough. Never felt a baby with such rough skin. I am on a mission to research if there is a special way I should be caring for his little Taiwanese skin.

I am not sure if I posted this picture yet or not but it is a result of the new camera we are trying to get use too. Do not ask me HOW we did this but I think it is kinda neat! Anyway, see for yourself :)

Well, I best post this and check blogs and a bit of email quickly before Noah wakes up for a bottle and I have not been to bed! Pray for us tomorow. We are babysitting my friend Liane's 2 year and 3 month old son Samuel starting tomorow again. Pray that they get along and that I have the physical stamina for all I need to do. I have been tryin to lay down when Noah naps and that wont happen with Samuel here unless they both happen to nap at the same time. Also I need despretly to get laundry done and the house in order, but Noah is not pleased if I am not right with him and of course that is where I WANT TO BE! :) Off to finish up online and watch him sleep till I fall asleep :)

Noah WesLee is 17 months old! :)

Noah is 17 months old today! :) I am so excited that this is the first month update that I GET TO TAKE THE PICS and send the update! heehee :) I can't believe Noah has been home for a week today! WOW!!!! :) Who would have thought!!! We had an interesting day. Noah is still sick but actually today seemed to feel worse than other days but we did have some sweet times :) First off , for the first time Noah got in the crib today! :) He spotted a toy as I was going past and reached for it and I set him in there fully expecting a Taiwan temper but he played a while as long as we were right there playing with us :) Did not last too long but still it was a photo op if nothing else! :)




Noah would get so tired today but naps did not last long. Here is one of those prescious times givin him a bottle. Jei Jei caught it on film before he was asleep. Look at that face. He just gazes into my eyes! so so sweet!




Being Noah's Month Birthday and him turning 17 months today we decided to measure him on the wall! Now this took some doing and finally we measured up from the floor and marked where he was measured at the docs the other day but it is so cute and I love the first mark on my wall! :)


Another first today. Noah not only did NOT cry in the bath today, he actually played a little with toys and smiled a few times! Isn't he the cutest thing????? :)


And this is just the sweetest sibling moment!!! Jei Jei waited so long for her baby brother but she is sure lovin him good and he loves her to death! Sometimes I worry he prefers her. But I am trying hard NOT to go there in my mind.

Is that not the cutest thing :)

I am so in awe of the fact that my Panda Boy is here :) and that he is doin so well considering. He had a nightmare durin one of his short naps today and woke up disoriented and screaming and seemed scared by me instead of comforted. That was so hard :( He did allow me to love on him and all but it was just the look on his face of fear at seeing me. I know its only been a week and he has to process all this. I mean he was with them almost 17 months and has only been with me for 11 days. I can't believe I have only had my son 11 days total and only been home a week. At the same time I can't believe our hermitation we decided to take is one day from over. wow! Seems so quick. We will go to Church Sunday and Samuel comes back next week and life will go to a bit more normal. For now Bobby is still on leave so that is good. Praying sleep improves before we add keeping Samuel to the picture.

I can't express to y'all what this feels like, me posting about Noah on his month bday! :) For those still waiting. It does FINALLY happen! And you have NO CLUE the joy you are in for. And also how hard but at the same tim how wonderful it will be :)